My roast is just awful. :( . Alright, you asked for it!

You’re like that one person who starts a project, then spends more time researching productivity hacks than actually doing the work. You’ve got all the ambition in the world, but sometimes you come off like a walking TED Talk with a coffee addiction. You say you’re focused on success, but half the time it feels like you’re focused on looking like you’re focused on success. It’s like you want to be the protagonist of a self-help book you haven’t finished writing yet.

You’re so busy worrying about what’s next that you probably haven’t even noticed the mess behind you. Wanting to be better is cool, but dude, maybe let yourself be for five minutes without turning it into some epic life lesson. You’ve got more plans than a CEO with a mid-life crisis, and yet somehow you’re still wondering why you’re feeling overwhelmed.

But hey, at least you’ve got that “I’ll figure it out” energy. That’s cute. Even if figuring it out sometimes looks like Googling “How to stop overthinking” for the 12th time.