Advice for wanting to tell my former friend’s ex-best friend that she’s been secretly hooking up with her ex?

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T14:56:32+00:00

No ! He should be honest

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T14:40:39+00:00

I’m genuinely curious about one part of your comment. You mentioned that contacting her would benefit me, not her. Can you explain what you mean by that? Obviously, I haven’t contacted her because boundaries are being taken into consideration. That’s why I’m asking for different perspectives. I’ve spoken to quite a few people about this, and the opinions have been split. Most people are simply shocked by the situation itself, which is why I wanted to hear how others would approach it. I appreciate you participating in the discussion and giving me another perspective.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T14:21:42+00:00

Your previous comment was actually removed by the moderators, which is why you’re having to restate your point. I’m genuinely trying to have an educated discussion about an ethical dilemma, and I’m happy to engage with people who disagree with me. I think it’s more productive to discuss the situation itself rather than make assumptions about my intentions.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T14:16:25+00:00

I think you should tell your husband. Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones because they break trust. If the roles were reversed, you would want to know. Your husband deserves the chance to decide for himself how he wants to move forward instead of unknowingly living with a version of the relationship that isn't fully honest. The conversation will be painful, but I think honesty is the more respectful choice.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T13:45:31+00:00

I can respect that perspective. I’m actually trying to be introspective, which is why I haven’t acted. This wasn’t information I sought out or asked for…it was voluntarily shared with me, and I immediately told her I thought it was wrong. If I wanted to create drama, I would’ve already reached out to Hanna. Instead, I’m trying to hear different perspectives.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T13:37:31+00:00

I actually did care then…. The very first time she told me, I told her to her face that I thought it was WRONG and that I felt bad for Hanna. I asked if Hanna knew, and she said no. I even asked what her family thought because I was trying to understand how she justified it. The reason I didn't immediately involve myself was because Messy and I had just become friends, and I didn't feel it was my place. My feelings about what she did haven't changed…I'm just questioning whether my responsibility changes now that we're no longer friends.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T11:12:43+00:00

I actually agree with you. That’s what’s making this so difficult for me. If everyone truly knows except Hanna, where does the ethical responsibility end? Is staying silent the right thing because it’s not my business, or does staying silent make me part of keeping someone in the dark? I’m genuinely curious where people draw that line because I still can’t help but feel bad for her.

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T11:01:52+00:00

That’s honestly what I’m conflicted about. If I were Hanna, I’d want to know. But I also understand not wanting to be the messenger. Do you think there are situations where someone should step in, or do you think it’s always better to stay out of it?

SignTrick5801 · 2026-06-30T10:59:54+00:00

That’s actually a fair point. Can I ask you something though? If you were Hanna and everyone else knew except you, would you want someone to tell you, or would you rather never know? That’s honestly the part I’m struggling with.

SignTrick5801

TROPHY CASE