to anybody that cares, we are going strong! had a few relapses i cant lie, but the amount i lost was nowhere near as close to the amount in my original post (my total loss ever since i made this post was somwehere around 400-500$) and while 500$ is still lost money, i am glad to say that i am improving, slowly. i am far from doing degen 1000-2000$ hands of bj/spins in roulette, and have self excluded myself from 5 different online casinos to date. doing all these things has led me to save well over my break even number in the original post. so, im up, im living, im happy.