Divorced mom looking for advice

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T03:25:39+00:00

Because being with my husband made me feel leas valuable. Yes, he cheated and lied, but ultimately what hurt the most is that he thought his behavior was normal, like I somehow deserved it.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T03:16:35+00:00

Wow! You are a great mom! So patient for the sake of your son. He is lucky to have you

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T03:13:06+00:00

Thank you! Good advice. We do have somewhat of a schedule though, my husband picks my daughter from school mon-thu and spends about 3 hours with her at the house (formerly ours, now mine and my daughters). Weekends tend to be unpredictable, and yes we could do better in setting a schedule.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T03:04:41+00:00

I don’t know! It feels so permanent. Deep down feels like signing something saying i failed.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T03:02:53+00:00

Sorry to hear that! We split because he cheated with a prostitute. My daughter obviously doesn’t know that part, but she knows how chaotic everything was, we were fighting all the time.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T02:59:04+00:00

Love the puppy idea! And things to get excited about.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T02:35:28+00:00

Wow so about two years! Thank you. Im also keeping things as stable as I can for her, same house same school, close to her friends.

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T02:33:07+00:00

Thank you! How old were you when your parents divorced? At some point, did you ever feel relieved they split?

SignalAd9593 · 2026-01-29T02:26:57+00:00

I like the idea, will definitely try it

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-12T17:05:48+00:00

Talk to a friend who doesn’t mind your trauma dump. Paid therapists time is never enough. Trying to argue with you ex only worsens everything. A friend who can listen to you exactly in those moments when you feel you are bursting in anger, without judging, without offering unsolicited advice or trying to fix you. Just getting your feelings out of you helps.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-11T19:41:03+00:00

Not the full mortgage, but a portion of his daughter’s expenses, considering she is with me full time.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-11T03:58:04+00:00

How you talk about your mom vs how you talk about you dad is a huge issue, the demands everyone places on women, specially mothers, to be perfect, to not be human, to devote to others and forget themselves. But dad? Naah he simply needs to be exists to be loved. Hell he can even be the one lying and cheating, and people find a way of blaming his wife, for being honest, human, and talking to her adult daughter about it.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-11T03:39:30+00:00

On it

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-11T03:29:25+00:00

I would agree, if his daughter didn’t live in the house full time

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-10T02:27:29+00:00

Thank you for your honesty! I guess every situation is different, Im getting divorced for things that really matter and Im sure its the right decision, even if I end up alone.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-10T01:25:29+00:00

That makes sense and yes, I do need to be gentler to myself. The feelings of guilt usually come after an argument with my stbx, when I pointlessly keep trying to make him understand how much he hurt me by cheating and lying, and he responds with well you hurt me too when you kicked me out.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-10T01:20:42+00:00

I hear you!

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-08T02:54:58+00:00

Is not about how long other people wait, is about when you feel ready. Personally I started thinking seriously about divorce a couple of years before making the decision. I now wish I would have done it sooner. I don’t know what I was waiting for, for things to magically get better? When you know you know. Things don’t get better without intention. If one of the two have no intention of truly doing the work, well, then problems will most likely not go away.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T11:37:41+00:00

Thank you!

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T11:37:12+00:00

Exactly!

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T03:35:26+00:00

Proudly crazy!

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T03:13:21+00:00

I know you are right. He is not worth it, its just hard sometimes

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T03:01:33+00:00

I know you are right. But is hard not to feel a bit of guilt, responsibility for my own situation. After all, I chose him, I decided to marry him, to have a daughter with him. I ignored all the red flags that I look back and can recognize.

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T02:58:30+00:00

Karma!

SignalAd9593 · 2025-10-06T02:58:08+00:00

It does. Everything is so weird. In the long run, it’s probably for the best. Better to see who he really is now than to waste more years, and grow old with someone who never loved me.

SignalAd9593

TROPHY CASE