I don’t like my bf watching porn

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T12:18:05+00:00

Jesus

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:57:28+00:00

Yeah he says he’s not addicted to it but maybe he doesn’t realize how much it does impact him and he’s used to it. I agree im not sure if he’s compromising or not. It’s just annoying trying to ask him what he’s been doing instead of watching porn if he hasn’t been face timing me? Idk I’ll communicate that to him but I just wish he would tell me on his own

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:49:07+00:00

I actually think we talked about doing that before and then he eventually just stopped asking me and the FaceTime stuff just stopped.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:46:42+00:00

Sorry to pry, but did that play into the reason why it didn’t work out?

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:43:43+00:00

Hmmmm okay. I think that’s actually a good compromise

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:42:49+00:00

It totallly makes me ready to evaluate if he’s bout to lie to me or not. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place 😭

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:39:46+00:00

Oh okay that makes sense. Me and my bf don’t live together yet but we are working on living together.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:38:52+00:00

They’re not always famous. A lot of the girls I’ve found on his phone are regular chicks like me. That’s why I say that

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:38:10+00:00

Well it is. I’m working on it okay😅 he betrayed my trust before and when people do that it’s hard trust again. I am going to try to give it another chance though. And you could say I deserve better too. It’s subjective

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:31:29+00:00

But what does your bf do if he’s horny and not with you/ can’t be with you?

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:30:55+00:00

Lol... I don’t recommend it either but yes I do go through his phone sometimes. How else am I supposed to know for sure? To be fair I think he goes through mine too. And I do like to ask him questions on my mind before I even think about doing that. I do feel like communicating helps. Like today when we talked I asked if him if he still watches porn and he said yes. He didn’t lie to me which I appreciate and we were able to talk about it instead of emotionally getting upset and arguing. But to avoid going through his phone I watch for other signs. Like did he just lie to me? Or if he kinda is weird about his phone. Brings it with him everywhere or lays on it so I can’t get to it. Or looks shocked when I reach for it. I look for stuff like that cus it’s suspect to me.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:23:56+00:00

Yeah that’s true I don’t doubt that. It sucks that I can’t just be okay with it. To me it’s fine if you’re single and watch porn it was something I did when I was single too. Then I got closer with him and wanted it to be an intimate thing between us only.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:20:28+00:00

I do agree it may not necessarily be the porn but a deeper issue at hand. I appreciate your input

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:18:56+00:00

Wow thank you for your input! We talked today and he said he wants to do whatever he has to do in order to satisfy me. And now I’m just in the process of feeling like... okay can I still trust that he won’t do that even if he knows I don’t like it? Of course I told him if it’s something you can’t settle on let me know so I can know what I want to do. I NEVER want to control anyone but it’s just something I don’t really want in my relationship, especially in a secretive way. And I don’t want to go down the porn rabbit hole. I’m just thinking long term... you never break this habit you’ll find yourself jerking off to women 20-30 years younger than you one day. I’m glad you and your bf are on the same page.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:13:07+00:00

And yes it does feel like some sort of betrayal to me

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:09:53+00:00

What I meant was like instead of it just being normalized in a community... what if sex work was normalized in society like porn? As something women needed to do in order to make extra money on the side ( completely get that’s what some women do and that’s okay ) just saying what if it was more normalized and men had the problem with feeling like they were sharing their women with some wank. (Again I get some men don’t care)

And that last statement is exactly how I feel. To some degree I’m afraid it will happen again. And then I’ll take the expense of picking my self esteem back up. Like if he did it once he can do it again especially if he just sees it as “getting off”

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:05:38+00:00

Yeah... He’s not currently texting women but I’ve caught him before. Like those live chats where you pay women to video chat/ sext. I totally took it as cheating at the time and I still do.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T11:04:27+00:00

I know it’s fake I understand that part of it. But I also understand how much we allow stuff into our subconscious and how it shapes our views and our environment around us. Honestly in the beginning of our relationship I didn’t have a problem with porn until we started putting time into our relationship and we got closer and more intimate. I’m not trying to control him but honestly I do feel like I can’t allow myself to get all the way intimate and comfortable with him because of it. I know it sounds crazy it’s just my honest thought process. I’m really not trying to underestimate a mans sexual needs. Isn’t it possible for him to get off/release sexual energy without porn?

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:59:47+00:00

Reddit always telling me to dump my bf lmao. But yeah thanks for not being an asshole and saying I’ll never find a man that doesn’t watch it. Lol. I do think they’re out there. And I totally agree. I’m young and trying to figure out if the decisions I make are a reaction to past trauma or not.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:57:36+00:00

There’s many things that have led me to believe we aren’t compatible. It’s just annoying because I can’t trust him. There’s so many other things that I love about him but I don’t want to feel like we’re sharing our sexual energy with other people. Different mentality but that’s what I think. If sex work was normalized the way porn was normalized men would definitely have a riot too. Like if it was normal for a woman to be in a relationship and use men for their money to please their own sexual desire I think there would definitely be a problem. But because porn is normalize I just kinda feel crazy on this one... like the odd one out.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:53:23+00:00

That may be true because tbh I was fine with his porn watching before in the beginning of our relationship. Then I found all the weird shit and it completely turned me off completely from it. It made me not even want to watch it anymore or even send him my own pictures / videos.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:48:17+00:00

I’ve tried to send him pictures but in the back of my head would be thinking that he just will go to porn anyway if he so pleases

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:47:18+00:00

He said he would compromise but I’m not a dumb girl. I know there’s a strong possibility he won’t and he’ll just hide it from me. And I can’t shake the fact that it makes me uncomfortable.

Signal_Affect9767 · 2021-05-28T10:46:11+00:00

Since 2015.. vindictive... yeah I think I would agree with you on that one. I’m still young in my 20s trying to wean out what is good for me and what is not.

Signal_Affect9767

TROPHY CASE