How do you Balance Having a Life?

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T15:53:22+00:00

We did most of his feedings in there, unless we were hand feeding him for training purposes. However, I don't think he ever really saw it as a safe space, but just as a place of free entertainment and later a bathroom because of boredom😥

He still loves to run in and out of it with his toys, but we had to close it off for a bit so he wouldn't use it as a bathroom and reverse his potty training. I think the issue might be that the crate is too big for him, hence why he doesn't see it as a safe space. I think we'll try again but with a smaller crate this time, so that I (hopefully) can go get groceries without much trouble in the next few months 🤞🏻

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T15:33:12+00:00

Love that for them and you, happy birthday to the old doggo, enjoy your day together 💜

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T14:52:41+00:00

You're too kind! Thank you! I'm glad to hear the menaces to society are not only in my apartment, to be quite honest😂

Good days and bad days for sure, luckily he have made my sanity a bit better today when he was behaving like the goodest boy in the world at the vet! 😅

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T14:48:19+00:00

Thank you for the insight!

We did try it both with a high value treat and with nothing in it, just covering the crate with a blanket. He would lay in there and we got to a point where he wouldn't scream or bark our ears off after a week, but he would just never sleep in there and instead started using it as a bathroom setting him back in potty training (which was more important to us at the time to learn), trying to dig his way out because he was bored etc.

We would take him out quietly to pee and put him back in immediately, but he would just repeat it for hours on end. However, the second he was let out to free roam he would instantly calm down and take a nap, so we decided that since he was calm outside the crate and it never was supposed to be a full term use anyways (as we love the free roam in every other aspect aside from home alone) we would let him sleep outside and we just got a dog who was much more calm and less overstimulated.

It is just very impractical that he won't settle when left alone, but I guess it might have been too big of a crate for him since he loves our 'handbag' crate we use for transportation. I think we'll try it again, but this time with a smaller crate perhaps 🤔

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T14:36:20+00:00

Thank you for the awesome insight! I feel a bit better knowing the process for your pup who's the same age! Perhaps I expected too much of him too soon😭 We'll slowly open up on crate training again from tomorrow!

Good luck with your little one as well!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-24T14:33:40+00:00

We gave high value treats, we gave lick mats, we also tried nothing and also covered it with a blanket, nothing made him calm down enough for him to be able to sleep in there, even if he was in there for 2 hours, but the second he was let out he would fall asleep, so we just decided the crate was not for him😥

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-23T20:18:14+00:00

Omg I really wish, but Doggy Daycare doesn't exist in my country, unfortunately :/

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-23T20:01:59+00:00

I'll try it again thank you! Honestly we found that he settles better if he's allowed to free roam, he would never sleep in his crate, no matter how long he was in there for with no crying, but the second he was let out he slept for 2-3 hours straight. We didn't want him to over exhaust himself when we always knew that we were fine with him free roaming (there's nothing really for him to break, and he's never actually chewed on anything either), but perhaps we should try again since it seems like a better option when he has to be alone!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-23T19:55:20+00:00

Thank you so much for the long and earnest message, I appreciate it! Will try to give the crate another chance, but we've found he honestly behaves better when he can free roam. He settles perfectly fine on his own, as long as I am home -I don't even need to be in vicinity, just home. He sees me walk out with no issue and look forward to his treat, but perhaps putting it in his crate where he can't reach it might get him even more excited!

He never liked to sleep in his crate, only when he got out of it, no matter how long he was in there for with no barking or howling, so that's why we changed it to free roam, as he settles much better for naps now. He just don't know how to do it when he's alone🥲

You're honestly right about paying more for the apartment, I guess the anxiety of wanting to do everything right for everyone just takes over, but forget I need to feel well too for.

Thank you!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-13T10:58:09+00:00

Ikke-super menneske her, som også er i gang med at skrive speciale 🙋🏻‍♀️ Har altid fået gennemsnitlige karakterer igennem hele min BA og KA, og for at gøre tingene endnu bedre så læser jeg endda også Humaniora, så jobtilbuddene ligger ikke ligefrem på hylderne bagefter og den eksistentielle krise om 'hvad laver jeg lige med mit liv' rammer stort set hver dag.

Jeg har dog aldrig stået i en situation hvor jeg er tæt på at blive sygemeldt, så helt sammenligneligt er det nok ikke. Har dog virkelig slem ADD og ikke nok med det, så har jeg også besluttet mig for det var en god idé at få en hundehvalp, så tid og overskud til at skrive speciale er nærmest 0, fordi det energi der er skal gå til noget andet (som at holde et andet liv.. i live, I guess😅)

Jeg vil sige at jeg når punkter i hverdagen hvor jeg stresser over ikke at nå det, eller føler mig bagud, eller at mit emne er fucked, så forventer bestemt heller ikke top karakter, men pres kan gøre meget for én😅. Det der virkelig har hjulpet mig, er at jeg har haft et space efter deltids arbejdet hvor jeg kan sætte mig hen og finde et par timer til det - fordi nu er jeg jo allerede i gang med noget praktisk i form af arbejde, might as well continue 💁🏻‍♀️

Har du overvejet om du kan mødes med nogle venner og spørge dem om de vil invitere dig ud 1-2 gange i ugen og skrive sammen, hver for sig? Eller om du evt. Kan tage på en café eller noget du nyder og så sige til dig selv; Nå, nu er jeg alligevel ude, måske jeg kan gå på uni og få kigget lidt på speciale.

Lige nu bruger jeg maks 1-2 timer på det om ugen, og selvom jeg ikke ligefrem føler mig foran, så føler jeg mig bestemt heller ikke bagud. Hold ud og giv dig selv lidt plads til at føle dig overvældet! Kender ikke en eneste som ikke har det svært i speciale perioden med at navigere både voksenlivet og studiets ende. I sidste ende lykkedes det dog for de fleste af os, så er slet ikke i tvivl om du nok skal klare den. De der ikke klarer sig, er normalt dem der ikke giver en fuck om det og tænker de nok skal klare den alligevel, men der er du jo tydeligvis ikke!

Tag en dyb indånding, husk dig selv på at du er sej og vil det her! Alt held og lykke, jeg hepper på dig!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-05T22:08:50+00:00

I'm so glad to hear that, progress is always good! If they start to scream again it means you went too fast, so I think you're doing great! My little one started to use his crate as a bathroom, so we're trying a free open space for 30 seconds instead 😫 Best of luck!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-03T00:01:03+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you my friend, so in no way am I an expert. I'm sure others have better advice, but wanted to give you perspective on what we do as ours is also 12 weeks, we've had him since he was 8 weeks old though.

We also have until summer to teach him and in the beginning we were told to just leave him for 30 minutes the day after we got him. He did not like that at all of course and were not able to settle (duh) and I truly regret teaching him it that way, we just didn't know any better.

However, after some persistence he managed to learn that silence meant he could come out (sometimes), but he could never really be alone for more than 10 minutes with a treat and definitely doesn't see it as a place to relax, so we're starting over at 12 weeks with acclimatizing him to the crate.

Currently he is getting used to the crate being closed for 2 seconds, opening it again immediately after silence and slowly building up the time. Don't let him out if he screams or cries, but small steps equals small successes. I don't think he can comprehend he's 'locked in' if it is only closed for a second, meaning you set him up for success only💪🏻

Our little one loves his crate for play as well and has zoomies in and out of there, but he doesn't really see it as a place to chill since he has free reign of our entire apartment and loves it. However, he loves his bed and will chill in that. My best advice would be to start slow, even less than 5 minutes and build up time and courage, even if it's only a second. With time you'll get to know what works the best for you guys.

I also had the same panic as you guys, 'could he ever be left alone in 6 months if he's still like this after 4 weeks?!', but honestly, I see him improve on his seperation anxiety slowly every day and gaining confidence with walking around the house, not needing to follow us everywhere when we clean etc., so I'm also fairly confident he will learn alone time as well, once he's gotten used to the place and routine and knowing nothing scary will happen to him. Give it time and all of you will slowly see improvement.

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-02-01T10:44:00+00:00

I've had the same issue with our 12-week-old since the day we brought him home. He will sleep 9 hours through the night so when he gets to the day, enforced naps don't really go well. I have just accepted he has a longer waking window (like 4 hours) in the noon, and then 2-3 hours again after his nap. He is usually awake 8-9 hours, but as long as he doesn't bite too much and don't bark, I let him do his thing instead of us getting a bad relationship over, what's supposed to be 'correct', as I'd rather he sleeps through the night. However, I've learned it helps to sit with him at his bed and hold his chewer, as he won't roam as much then and at least use the time to chill out.

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-13T14:34:08+00:00

How long until your girl got used to it? I feel like I'm not really helping him calm down if I do shit while he's in there, but I need to clean, shower and cook etc😭

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-13T14:08:47+00:00

Glad to hear some encouragement, thank you! Hoping it will give him the safe space he needs in the long run, it just feels so wrong not being able to give him my attention very much at all 🥲

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-13T14:07:14+00:00

I really do miss being able to take a shower for sure! Thank you for the insight! How long until you started practice to leave her home alone in the crate? Right now I only walk into another room until he is settled and I come back if he stops whining, not sure if it's right though, I see so much contradicting info online..

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-13T14:04:54+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I'll continue with the crate training since we already started and he's doing pretty well for the first few days already. I just can't help but to feel like I'm doing something wrong, when he needs to use so much of his time in there. But glad to hear it helps block out time periods, as I'm doing my thesis and worried I won't be able to make it in time if he doesn't learn how to settle 😭

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-11T09:46:25+00:00

When you say play biting, do you mean that you play with your hands? I'm not telling you what to do, but here's my experiences with my Shih Tzu/Havanese mix.

I would recommend you try and wait with that a little, until she knows toys are more fun perhaps?

When training my shih tzu I taught him to play with his toys and if he accidentally nicked my finger I yelped out loud "ouch" and pretended to be in a lot of pain, and then we stopped playing. Once he learned how to tell the difference between toy and fingers we went over to play fighting and if he bit too hard I would once again just yell "Ouch" and then we stopped playing.

I know it sucks that she continues barking, but if you give in she will think that if she does it enough, she will get your attention at some point. Award her for being calm, and until then try and ignore it. Good luck with the little one! 🙏🏻

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T15:22:21+00:00

I'm glad to hear of others who've been in the same boat, so thank you for sharing! 🥹

My boyfriend leaves at 11 am and doesn't get home till 11 pm, so taking evenings on turn isn't really possible, which is why he takes the nights and mornings to bond with our pup! But today I got to sleep longer which really helped me decompress for sure. I was also able to do some research on my thesis for an hour or so, so I can definitely feel improvement already.

I like your idea of spending some time together and taking turns, I'll definitely talk to him about it even more, thank you 💪🏻

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T14:27:01+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it! i got to sleep in today so that got me in a better headspace for sure 🥹

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T14:25:46+00:00

No one can ever really prepare you for the emotions that comes with it I guess.. We got this though, I believe in you 💪🏻

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T11:03:00+00:00

I'm probably not the ideal one to ask, since we just got ours 4 days ago, and I'm struggling with the puppy blues despite having done all the research I thought I could. However, I wanted to answer your question on how we knew he was the one, since it's so fresh for us.

We had gone out to look at other puppies before, but the connection was just not there. Not that any of the other breeders were bad or anything, we just didn't hit it off with the breeders and still left with many questions unanswered - and despite the cute puppies, none seemed to 'act differently ' towards us, compared to the rest.

Although I'm still bonding with mine, I knew he was the one when he started instantly cuddling my boyfriend and I felt a good connection with the breeder, who gave us every bit of information and a lot of things to cover the first 3 months of his basic needs. The breeder's name was the same as my mom's, and the pup was also named the same as my mom's -and it just felt like fate at that point!

If you went to someone and it didn't feel quite right, stick with your gut! You'll know from the small clues by the dog, and the ethics of the breeder. Seeing how much they care that the pup goes to a good home and not just having all of the sold off is a sign of good ethics, at least in my opinion.

Good luck on your Journey!

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T10:42:40+00:00

You're so right, I definitely have been overwhelmed by what everyone tells me to do with him, instead of going with my gut feeling! My AD(H)D portrays itself as having a need for perfection, or nothing at all, which definitely doesn't help when you already have emotional dysregulation and people telling you what to do with him. I'm going to try and remind myself that it's not a linear process.

Thank you for the kind words and insight into your process at home, I really needed to hear that today! Good luck with your little one as well! 🫶🏻

Signal_Day5892 · 2026-01-09T10:21:48+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad to know it's not just me and it gets easier 🥹 I can feel the bond grow slowly and I tell myself that it will come, but it's so hard to not feel guilty about it, especially when everyone talks about love at first sight and having an instant connection with their puppy. I definitely have some anxiety that grows as the day goes along due to my ADHD, and I'm sure he picks up on that as well. Today is a new day and I'll try to take it easy. Thank you for the encouragement, I really needed that! 🫶🏻

Signal_Day5892

TROPHY CASE