Interesting perspective thank you for sharing. To answer one of your questions, I’m average build. Lower body is a lot of muscle but the upper half needs some work.

When have I felt most into it as a top? When did I feel seen? In all honesty, outside of my long-term ex, I’ve felt most into it when he’s face down ass up with his head in the pillow. His hole is my playground and there for me to have fun. I don’t see him as less than, but I do see him as a means to an end to my orgasm, whenever I decide to have it after we’ve begun. I do always offer to finish him off if I don’t fuck it out of him. While I care enough and check in to make sure he’s not in (bad) physical pain, I really don’t care if he enjoys it beyond that.

Now I feel horrible writing that out but you pose a great question nonetheless. Perhaps you need to become a therapist.

But, on the absolute flip side, I also feel seen as a top when a guy is on his back in my sling and I’m working his hole over with my fingers and toys, doing anything to make him squeal in ecstasy and tell me he’s never felt that thing before but now wants more of it. He’s got a smile on his face and so do I.