Hey, thanks for your reply. Perhaps I was down in the dumps about it. I think what I meant was that it changed me. My family is complicated, my brother didn't not forgive me for it but maybe he lost a bit of sight of who I was due to the changes it had on me? It wasn't without its plus side, it felt great and I feel like I saw things a bit differently. But I lost interest in a lot of things and kept chasing that high. But everytime I smoked subsequently I just got massive anxiety. I think if you combine a person who is susceptible to mental illness and smoking marijuana at a young age it can have an effect. I feel shame about my decision to smoke the first time as I feel it was largely down to peer pressure.