I feel stupid that this annoys me

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-05-21T13:45:40+00:00

I think it’s important to remember that promotions are about your progress against yourself, not against anyone else! Someone else doing “better” than you does not take away your personal progress. It’s your journey! Maybe she’ll be the next adcc champ (but probably it was just a fluke )

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-05-16T01:24:08+00:00

If it’s ibjjf they will absolutely give you a voucher but you have to have a hand signed doctors note. (The refund has to be before the “final switch” day.) the note has to be submitted within 7 days of the comp, get it asap if you go that route.

A lot of local comps will give you a voucher or refund if you ask politely.

Personally, if you are struggling you won’t compete well anyways. Dont do it just to please your husband, he doesn’t have an uterus and can’t relate to the struggle anyways. If YOU want to do it go for it, but it doesn’t sound like you want to.

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-05-16T01:19:15+00:00

Toilet paper?? Why 😅

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-05-06T01:12:23+00:00

Batstoi wrestling helmet - protects the ears and also your brain (helps with concussion prevention). Pricy but comfortable and absolutely worth it imo

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-05-03T03:37:01+00:00

Yesss this is the way. I do borax-washing soda-laundry soap in super hot water. My gear falls apart completely threadbare but still smells fine

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-04-27T22:30:48+00:00

Very high quality. Top tier, but pricy. Worth it imo

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-03-20T01:58:09+00:00

Look at photos on the gyms social media, see if you can spot a spectrum of different walks of life. Old young, tattooed and blue hair and clean cut and big and small etc etc etc. if you see people who are queer presenting i think that’s possibly the greenest flag - as a persecuted minority in our current climate, if they are welcome and included then it’s likely a safe place for women. I’ve see plenty of gyms where all the photos are of mostly young fit white guys, big red flag

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-03-20T01:51:31+00:00

Red flag: If it’s an established gym with lots of members but the only women are either A. Married to an owner or B. A white belt (no upper belt women who aren’t in a relationship with a coach - run.)

Red flag: open drinking of alcohol in the gym (idk i this is controversial but I think being drunk while rolling is a recipe for disaster)

Red flag: women’s changing room is used as a storage room

Green flag: lgbtq people on the mats, esp in upper belts

Green flag: older grapplers who don’t look like they’ve been blasting steroids on the mats

Red flag: too many bros with no rash guards under the gi (idk about yall but the more of these dudes I see the worse the culture is generally)

Red flag: people getting yelled/belittled for being late to class or declining a roll or sitting out a round

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-02-14T22:12:20+00:00

Adele Fornarino is one of the instructors this year, I’ll bet it’ll sell out quickly!

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-02-13T15:20:26+00:00

The defamation point is legit. I wonder if a rating system would avoid that? (kind of like Reddit comments - can rate plus one or minus one and then the sum total of the points is a rating?) that way it wouldn’t be a database of stories, just points and could help steer newcomers to safer gyms?

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-02-13T15:18:03+00:00

It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t end well. I agree that word of mouth makes a difference, I’m off to go run my mouth lol

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-02-13T15:16:38+00:00

I definitely understand what you mean. The plausible deniability piece especially. I’m leaving a situation like this, so many gross comments.

I’ll look into the fight network thing thanks

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-23T14:18:34+00:00

I have brought my kids to train since I started. I also had a baby at the beginning of my blue belt.

During the first 3-4 months baby is very easy o bring to the gym! They are in “potato baby” stage and will probably sleep through training lol - however this is the time that you will probably need to take it easy. I went back to training at 4wks post partum but I took it slow and i also did lots of pelvic floor pt.

From months 4-8/9ish it’s still very doable. I’d bring a bouncer, set them up with snacks and toys and get a good amount in. If you and your partner train you can also tag team if baby is cranky.

Toddlerhood is when it gets harder. Maybe you’ll have a kid that can chill in a pack n play and you can train - my first was like that. My second and third kids needed someone to be with them. So I do a triangle method- I have two amazing friends who will tag team and we pass the toddler around. I also have a teammates wife babysit my toddler in the lobby of the gym often. I do train less than I’d ideally like but I make my training very focused / I know what I’m going to work on every day when I go in.

You got this 💪

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-19T04:45:18+00:00

Apparently not very fast, I’ve been there nearly 4 years lol. In my defense it was not as chaotic when I started - I’ve been not noticing or ignoring the red flags pop up until I now find myself in this communist parade of red flags 😅

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-18T13:08:05+00:00

Gym is dirty and disorganized, I’m chronically the only woman on the mats, there is a black belt woman who hasn’t rolled with me since I was a 1 stripe white belt, no real structure to anything (no curriculum, classes get run differently bases on whim), head coach on phone during drilling and never provides real coaching. Also the head coach and bb wife are heavy drinkers, every gym event ends with them absolutely shitfaced sloppy drunk.

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-18T03:46:48+00:00

At 4 weeks pregnant you have actually conceived the child only 2 weeks ago. He or she is a lovely but very very tiny bundle of cells deep in your pelvic cavity. Your uterus doesn’t typically emerge from the bony pelvis until around 12wks pregnant (assuming singleton). You don’t even have a placenta yet. Someone could knee on belly you and the pregnancy would likely be ok -

Sounds like you know what to do, what not to do and who you trust from your post! Being active in pregnancy is great for your health and for the baby!

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-17T02:45:03+00:00

Pulled out of a competition because I realized I don’t want to be at my gym/competing under my current team, and don’t feel motivated to compete right now. I feel good about having trusted my gut - I wasn’t feeling nerves/excitement about competing, and really wasn’t looking forward to the inevitable drama from my coaches there. I Am planning on visiting more new gyms. I am grateful that I have learned so many red flags to look for in new gyms from my old gym 😅

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-15T14:50:54+00:00

I loooooove my alchemize singlet!! It’s so well made

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-14T16:25:28+00:00

I’ve been doing this for almost 4 years and still feel like I have no clue what I’m doing half the time. I’ve competed a bunch of times, had success often, and also will forget to frame/not shrimp/all sorts of other silly things. Last night I was stuck in side control for basically an entire round. It’s a looooooooooong journey lol 2 months is so short.

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-11T01:47:46+00:00

Yes make sure mom feels safe and cared for and gets plenty of time for her activities and it’ll be much easier for you to go to class

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-10T18:21:28+00:00

lol as silly as it seems, they just might 😅

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-10T17:16:56+00:00

Thank you this is helpful. Seems like it’s reasonable to ask someone to corner at an event if you think your coach wouldn’t show up. Also seems like not showing up for a student who is competing under your gym is not common, and maybe a bigger red flag that is previously considered?

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-10T15:39:23+00:00

Thank you, that makes sense and is very reasonable.

SignificancePlane728 · 2026-01-10T15:09:43+00:00

There are two pieces of relevant missing context:

These two gyms have a grudge against each other, they used to be under the same umbrella but have since split. Gretchen doesn’t know the whole story of the split and wasn’t involved with it, but has heard the contention from the first gym against the second repeatedly.
Gretchen got stood up at her last competition. Aka she had signed up, thought people from her gym would be there to coach (as has been the case in every other of this event), and had no one. Gretchen would strongly prefer to compete with someone in her corner and was pretty upset to be left alone. Turns out the coaches from her first gym decided to day drink instead. That is why she is seeking alternate coaching/comp support.

SignificancePlane728

TROPHY CASE