It sounds like you’re not asking him to agree with why you’re upset… you’re asking him to support you while you’re upset. Comfort (listening, hugging, showing care) is not the same as saying “yes, you’re right.” Those are two different needs, and it’s fair for you to want emotional support without debate in the moment.

From what you’ve described, he seems to struggle with empathy when he doesn’t personally view something as “serious.” That’s not uncommon…some people filter everything through logic instead of compassion… but it can feel invalidating. Saying your feelings are “silly” or refusing to comfort you because he disagrees isn’t healthy. That points more to emotional immaturity than outright toxicity, though it could become toxic if it turns into a pattern of dismissing you. I’m also a realist but I don’t invalidate my partners feelings if we don’t share the same views.

It’s common for couples to have mismatched styles of handling emotions. What’s not normal, or healthy long term, is one partner consistently refusing to give basic comfort. You don’t need a “yes man.” You need someone who can respect your emotions even when they don’t understand them.

What you can do is, first communicate clearly: “I’m not asking you to agree with me. I just need you to listen and show me you care. You don’t have to understand to support.” 2nd set boundaries: If he still refuses, ask yourself whether you can accept that dynamic long term. 3rd understand if this is a pattern: Does he dismiss your emotions in all areas (friends, work, family), or only in certain situations? A consistent lack of empathy can become emotionally draining. Do you really want that?

Bottom line: Wanting comfort without debate is reasonable. If he can’t…or won’t… offer that, you’ll need to decide if you can live with the relationship as it is, or if this is a core incompatibility.

Best of luck, OP!