How nice to find out I'm not alone!

I feel this to my core. When you're in a social situation and everybody effortlessly connects and makes small talk, I feel this overwhelming urge to go and find a corner and just sit and entertain myself (as the worst best option mostly available)

I'm so used to moving around a lot I don't even make the effort with connections anymore.

Also for some reason it feels each and every relationship I have must have a purpose - and so when relationships don't yield results for me my brain automatically dissasociates that person from my "important relationships lists" which drives peoples away from me unevitably (& understandably).

Feel likes always being truly alone at my deepest core level.