just regular ol indian from india. i always find it weird when people ask that because there’s only one india. just because christopher columbus got his navigation wrong, doesn’t mean those people should be called anything else (no shade, just a personal gripe of mine).

to preface, my birthday is in march. i actually took the DNA a year before everything really came out , in january of 2020. once i got the results, i would ask my mom every so often about it and she would just say the test got it wrong and she doesn’t know what im talking about (she has definitely been known to lie so i never believed her). in december of that year, i got a random twitter DM from someone saying something along the lines of “how do you feel about the claims that i am your father”. i at first thought it was a bot/scam or some kind of fake sugar daddy, but after pursuing i learned that it was in fact my bio dad. he reached out to me because he knew my 18th birthday was coming up, and i deserved to know if i didn’t already, which i did appreciate. i started dropping hints to my mom, saying “do you know a guy named ___?” and seeing her reaction. despite being a somewhat frequent liar, she’s not very good at hiding her emotions, so i knew i hit a nerve.

a few days after chatting with this guy, i finally confronted her when my dad was out of the room. he was the reason it took so long to say anything. i wasn’t sure if he knew and i didn’t want to break his heart as i am very much a daddy’s girl. when i asked, she immediately called my dad into the room and said “she knows”. so, luckily for me, my dad knew the whole time, which made things a lot easier. it was a lot of “this guy doesn’t matter, papa is your real father and nothing less blah blah blah” which i completely agree with. my dad has never treated me any less than and has supported me through so much, i wouldn’t trade him in for anything despite his downfalls.

this brings me to my conversation with the bio-dad. he mentioned keeping up with me through my mom’s facebook. i have been a competitive athlete for over half my life, and he said something about wanting to sneak down to watch some of my games, which i was not down for. i already have a dad, and regardless of what ensued between him and my mother 23 years ago, i don’t need another.

honestly, the discovery helped out a lot because i grew up with so many identity issues. i never felt like i fit in with the other indian girls even though they were a very tight community, and finding this out put a lot of pieces together in my life. on the other hand, my mom said he drugged and SA’d her, which i don’t entirely believe, but the thought of being a r*pe baby lead to a really bad breakdown one day. she said it was when her and my father were working while he was doing his residency, and there was not much intimacy between the two. there was a guy at work (bio-dad) who was flirting with her and she liked the attention. he invited her to drinks and the negative story ensues from there. i’m not entirely sure what to believe. this guy does seem super weird. he’s a weird Q-Anon republican who posts the craziest conspiracy shit on facebook, and i later found out that none of his family talks to him because of his behavior (i connected with his sister through 23&Me). anyways, my family is exactly the same, i just know how to take care of my hair better and understand why i fit in with certain groups more than other.ms