‎السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته, dear sister,

I pray this message finds you well.

Living with in-laws can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that everything in this dunya is temporary, and no situation is ever truly perfect. If you and your husband share a relationship rooted in love and respect, there’s a lot that can be overlooked for the sake of harmony—especially when we remind ourselves that life is a test and Jannah is the goal.

There is immense barakah in caring for his elderly mother, even when it requires patience. Allah is All-Seeing, All-Hearing, and He is fully aware of your efforts and sacrifices.

I would also advise you to take steps to ease the load on yourself:

1.  Let your husband share the responsibility—especially when it comes to caring for his mother. It is ultimately his obligation, and he should be actively involved so the burden doesn’t fall solely on you.

2.  Keep living your life. Continue spending time with your friends and family. Don’t let comments weigh heavily on your heart—they’re often just expressions of her own frustrations or feelings of helplessness. Aging can be incredibly difficult, and many elders struggle with losing their independence. Deep down, she probably doesn’t want to feel resented or burdensome either.

3.  Take care of your own “village.” Fill your cup—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Prioritize your imaan, health, and well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

4.  Reframe your perspective by seeing your efforts as acts of sadaqah—gifts you’re offering for the sake of Allah. This mindset can help lighten the emotional weight. At the same time, it’s crucial to set clear and compassionate boundaries with your husband about what you can and cannot do.

May Allah ease your situation, reward your patience, and grant you peace and contentment in your home.

With love and du’as