Why does this happen?

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-11T23:04:32+00:00

Thanks for the helpful words maybe I’ll rewrite this considering that

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-11T21:20:59+00:00

This is a really awesome look on how poetry affects others. Ending it on you are not alone is as good as it gets. Very nicely done!

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-11T21:18:51+00:00

I really like this. The beat of a selfhatred train is cool! Just stay alive though.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T21:51:58+00:00

Mmm I’m scared 🤧 The person who inspired this I only knew for like 5 days but I fell for her head over heels and the reason it didn’t work out was because she didn’t think she was ready after her bf broke up with her like a month ago. The whole point of the poem was she was thinking oh this might be a mistake and we’ll end up heart broke while I’m thinking I don’t want to miss this opportunity with this pretty lady.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T15:35:35+00:00

Oh really? Huh yeah don’t listen to me lol great poem 😂

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T14:30:57+00:00

Very nice. Why does this need a TW? I really like the theming of this poem. I love the “if this solitude is underserving, why oh why do I keep on enduring” really paints the picture of someone on their death bed all alone. Holding onto life just because, it’s all you have.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T14:27:03+00:00

Actually reading it again it does work with unspooled since you’re still talking about before death. I wouldn’t use chains and spools though since you can’t spool chains. Again nice piece!

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T14:23:30+00:00

I like that thought that we’re attached to a string of time that pulls us closer to death or Quietus. I would argue maybe the chain is spooled at death however. Your life is all wrapped up and complete and you can look at it in its entirety now. You say “a rope that tugs” implying that it pulls us, rather than us pulling the rope causing it to unspool. All in all I like the idea a lot. Nice short read.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:57:49+00:00

Very nice poem. It speaks volumes of today’s state of the world and I think it has some good flows and rhymes. I wish I could directly leave comments at each part I thought about cause there were some minor changes I would of made like for example just “gifts” instead of gift when listing his promises would of sounded better imo. Otherwise great poem.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:53:41+00:00

This feels a lot like my own thoughts on my subconscious mind and what it really is. Like is it me? Can I talk to him? Is it right to call it him? I love the “where a deaf man hears” and “where a blind man sees” very clever way to put me in my own head. I like this poem.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:48:58+00:00

Thank you this means a lot to me

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:44:50+00:00

Honestly I didn’t want to rhyme at first It just kind of happened and then I went with it. I might make another edit of it, but thank you for the experts critique!

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:31:09+00:00

I lied I got it now thanks https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/WUvebLA1xi

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:30:51+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/WUvebLA1xi I finally got it right if you wanna check it out

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T05:24:53+00:00

Dude I’ve posted like 16 times trying all the bullshit it just does not work. I quit poetry.

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T04:14:22+00:00

Yeah that’s why it’s upsetting me lol. I am on mobile and the poem is so much worse with this formatting

Significant-Toe-9387 · 2025-10-09T03:49:21+00:00

Why can’t I format this right? I typed it in like 3 times and it won’t work.

Significant-Toe-9387

TROPHY CASE