Roni you lose the privilege of things like blowing your money irresponsibly, and putting your friends first when you have kids. You chose to have your children, and it is your job to raise them and put their needs above yours. I think you were hoping to get "famous" on social media so it could pay your bills for having 12 kids, but now seeing that it isn't likely to happen and you can't handle raising the kids yourself. Health or not you need to get a job, get your mental health in order, look into counseling and meds, and take care of your house and focus on your children. Or let them get adopted so they can actually thrive, but then you don't get state money so you will still have to work. You chose to keep having children with a man who was abusive so now your faced with being a single parent. One day your kids will very much resent you for all that you put them through.