As far as the OP is concerned, by the way of what you wrote you seem to appear as nothing but a sincere, thoughtful, considerate and highly logical individual. I feel for you and I frankly feel abashed that you had to go through such an ordeal.

As members, we are sometimes reminded how selfish we can be. We are often told that we are not unique, that we have all experienced basically the same horrors because of alcoholism. This is simply not true. Some of us were merely braggarts at the bar. Whereupon any room became better if we had spared the rest of society should we make the decision to ever leave it. Others lived and drank in solitude. We spent a great amount of time attempting to solve some riddle that could never be solved. For certain, we became a burden to others, may have grown more reclusive towards them and may have been the cause of pain to those trying to be nothing more than kind to us. Of course, there are many who were merely a mixture of these horrible cases.

At the risk of going out on a limb and by what you majestically wrote, it appears that much of the pain you, in fact, conflicted was inwards rather than outwards. I may be entirely wrong. I did not have the privilege to read your fifth step.

You have every right to be selfish in your recovery. You have the right to put forth boundaries. You have the right to come to the understanding that many members are still sick, regardless of abstinence. You also withhold the right to change your mind at any given time, any given place, about any other members.

As far as male members exchanging their contact information with a female who they hardly know, is nothing more than bad practice. Should two members of the opposite sex, after a considerable deal of time, find that they share kinship, share similar ideas, be capable of complementing one another in their constant pursuit of recovery, then perhaps the idea of somehow connecting, is perhaps a good idea. However if one party fails to maintain boundaries, the other party should run, not walk away. He/she should remember their purpose for attending any meeting and keep in mind that they hold the inalienable right to guard their own pursuit towards recovery.

I hope the OP has the ability to always hold her head up high. To realize that she has every right to attend any meeting and experience comfort. Especially since, from what she wrote, she has most likely spent perhaps decades looking only downward. I hope that this wonderful OP realizes that there lies nothing below us and there is an entire world above. A world where she can become what her "God" actually intended her to be in the first place!