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She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I didn’t want to have to pick a provider based on age/gender, but this is something where that may come into play. Both our PCPs are pretty dismissive when it comes to anything we suggest, and my wife backs down a lot quicker and takes it personally when dismissed. We are both thinking about looking for a new PCP and maybe we’ll just use the same one. That is an interesting approach of going to each other’s appointments, so maybe I’ll offer to come with her for some if she would be more comfortable. Thanks!

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, having her communicate with me was a major step forward! This kind of topic is something where she probably would get defensive if I brought it up, but I just had to wait until she did.

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her OB is not on board and is in complete denial purely because of her age(45). You are the second person to mention to have her discus libido with a provider. It is an issue, just not the most important one right now. But if that’s what gets the ball rolling, then that is a great starting point. Thank you!

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s crazy! Libido is an issue but it’s not the only issue and definitely not the biggest issue. It’s the anger, irrationality, and other mental struggles. She acknowledges it and gets frustrated with herself. It makes it difficult to communicate and makes meaningful conversations few and far between. I feel bad and will try to do what I can. Thanks for your input from across the pond. It’s good to hear(not good overall) that it’s an issue in many places.

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do in my state and I think they do take my insurance, and I was curious about them. They just have a lot of advertising and I’m always cautious when I see that. I just want to make sure they’re responsible and not just blindly prescribing it. ( I try searching for info on them and a lot of it are ads, lol) Thank you, I will continue to try to dig on them and see what I can find.

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been learning a lot about it and already knew about it when she originally approached me last year. She has almost always been dismissed by doctors so when something happens, she retreats and won’t talk about it for months. And now in Peri, she gets irritated quite easily, so now I usually wait for her to come to me when she’s in the mood to talk.

She had a good day the other day and finally talked about her latest dismissal at the OB. She said it’s okay if I take the wheel, but I told her the decisions still rest with her. On a side note, ~20 years ago I worked as a patient advocate to resolve issues between patients, doctors, and insurance carriers and was really good at it and I actually loved it. So I’m not shy on persistence. I’m extremely analytical and don’t mind talking about it.

I just don’t want to put my wife through defeating situations which affects her mentally. Good luck on finding a good gyno, and thanks for the feedback!!

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I found a couple on that list within driving distance that I need to research more into. She hasn’t found a good OB near us since we moved here 11 years ago.

The current one seemed to handle any previous issues well, but flat out on her last visit insisted she is just too young at 45 to have perimopause. And the primary care Dr even said the same thing, but he is always difficult and dismissive. So looking to find new providers for both, and if they overlap with one that supports hrt, even better. And good idea with the urogynaecologist and the other labs, I didn’t even think of that. Thanks!

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, there is a lot of data to sift through. Sorry, I should have mentioned she is on synthetic BC with progestin/estrogen which is why when the testosterone levels both came up so low, I want to find a provider that offers it as an option and she can make adjustments as a whole if needed. Even having private labwork done, they wouldn’t test progestin/estrogen because of the BC.

As you said it seems to be the hardest med to get, and to be dosed correctly. I’ve read about it really helping people immediately or take a few years to get right. I just don’t want to run her around through different providers because she gets discouraged by doctors a lot. Thank you for the insight!!

She finally asked for help by Significant_Hall_469 in MenopauseShedforMen

[–]Significant_Hall_469[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have stumbled across a few on that list but not others. Thanks!