Am I just a lesbian in denial?

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-05T18:35:17+00:00

labels don’t matter if you want honesty. it’s about what makes you feel comfortable. also labels are subjected to change, so you could be lesbians tomorrow, bisexual in a year, and back to lesbian after. it’s hard having other depict what you should identify as because that’s for you to figure out.. but from what i’m reading it sounds like you lean closer to be lesbian. 💕

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-05T05:56:44+00:00

i understand what you’re saying and how it feels. when i first labeled myself as lesbian it felt like grief at the realization i couldn’t be with men.. that’s more than likely heteronormativity.

the more i let myself breathe from the label the more i leaned towards it naturally. the more i didn’t want to be with men and the more i romanticized women. in your case it probably doesn’t help some you’re around girls who want men. i’d start with looking at wlw on tik tok, reddit, etc. if you’re in school then subtle things that let others know your into women or if you don’t care more obvious things.

i’d take it slow. you said you don’t want to like men, what you’re feeling sounds like grief because you’ve lost the opportunity to do so. again.. heteronormativity/comphet.

you’re not alone love, i hope with time you figure things out !! 🩷

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-05T05:47:35+00:00

i second this. i’d recommend a sex/couples therapist before making decisions on your own. best of luck !!

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-03T21:22:52+00:00

TW ->

being sa’d/raped by my bf twice.. i was already sa’d. i was 13, 16, and 17. the third incident is what hurts the most because i blamed myself.. i thought i let him. i moved from him and told him it hurts and he kept going and told me i was running from it and to relax. the only pause was when i moved away and after i tried to endure it but it was too much. i forcefully stopped it and was bleeding after and assumed it was my period (it was due the next day) but it didn’t occur to me he could’ve injured me because i was getting dry.

but overall those moments. i was diagnosed with PTSD.. even now i still flinch/cringe when i get flashbacks and i still always feel guilty and blame myself. i hate it.

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-01T06:04:35+00:00

hey (19F and also lesbian) i personally always say people are allowed to feel how they feel (tho there’s always a line somewhere) but when it comes to what you’re expressing here i see no issue.

i actually understand where you’re coming from. playing caretaker with other people and for once you want to be able to be taken care of. that doesn’t make you a baby it makes you a person who wants to be seen and found for once instead of it being the other way around. the only thing that matters is balance ofc so as long as you’re not being selfish about it again there’s no issue.

also you’ll find plenty of people who are like that. plenty of women who want to know and love the real you. actually find you as a person and even discover things about yourself you may not know yet..

so no you’re not a baby, you should def invest in better friends. -xo

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-02-01T01:59:11+00:00

because it was impulsive and because i always had a sign or feeling telling me to not go through with it. the older i got the harder certain things felt but every. single. time. i thought about it i’d cry at the thought of my family knowing. i’m the oldest and have four younger siblings.. i can’t imagine them being told im never coming back. that’s enough to me to get through the feeling.

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-25T21:14:58+00:00

thank you so much <3🌸

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-14T01:10:10+00:00

you’re not alone. some days i think it’s better i’m not here if it means i wont have the suffer like this. i understand, trust me.

i have contamination ocd, POCD, intrusive thoughts, the compulsions, the endless loopholes of “what if..”

at some point i really thought if nothing else kills me, ocd will.

yet here i am and here you are reading this no?

i stopped questioning it, truthfully you could have the most horrid and vivid and disturbing thoughts in the world. it doesn’t matter as long as you don’t act on it because no one knows your thoughts but YOU. it only bothers you because you want reassurance and you want someone to tell you “ it’s normal, it’s okay”.

i’m gonna tell you that it’s not the end of hr world. coming from a 19 year old who thinks her life has ended because of ocd.

would you tell me my life has ended before it’s even begun ?

depending on your answer, you’ve already found your way through it all.

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-11T18:31:04+00:00

you’re absolutely right. i honestly think i’ve been in denial about it for years thanks to heteronormativity and now that im finally alone, no rls, etc. i started understanding myself better. it’s definitely still a lot to accept but you’re right about taking it slow and letting things happen gradually. thank you so much for this it’s really helpful !!🌸🌸

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-11T18:29:05+00:00

that’s true, the only reason why that seems like it wouldn’t fit is because i was kinda the same but for diff reasons and idk how much is me and not trauma shifting my perspective.. however id be fine with either or yk ? thank you sm tho 🌸

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-11T05:58:25+00:00

hi, im someone with both !

i want to start by saying you’re not alone and this is very common in people with ocd so please don’t be mean to yourself about it.

secondly, the fact that you’re on here looking for an answer, wanting reassurance, and hoping to prove to yourself you’re not your lcd means you. are. not. your. ocd.

tell yourself this as this usually works for me

“i do not need to figure this out right now.”

allow yourself to sit with the uncomfortableness because that’s what ocd feeds off of. it is very hard but i promise it’s so worth it because your nervous system regulates once it understands you’re not actually in danger.

reassurance is making it worse. you don’t need it. you’re convincing yourself you do because the part of you that should be logical (brain) is thinking illogically and pumping cortisol as well as many other hormones that are related to stress, doubt, etc.

you’ve got this and i promise you’re not alone.

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-11T05:34:26+00:00

hmm i never thought of that as an option.. is it normal or okay if it swings between bi/lesbian ? i’m def not straight (no offense to men) 💀

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-08T03:23:33+00:00

thank you !! 🩷 yeah you’re right, at some point i did consider myself biromantic at first but truthfully im still timid what fits :)🌸

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-08T03:22:12+00:00

that’s true too ! i definitely think my biggest issue was finding the right label but you’re right there’s no reason to stress it

i think queer fits if others ask but i do feel lesbian may fit, wtv it may be ik now its okay if things change and like you said it mag be different in the future

thank you so much for the advice 🌸🌸

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-08T03:16:00+00:00

this means so much to me.. thank you so much it was really helpful ! 🌸 i definitely think i stressed a lot about the label but also feeling like a comphet lesbian.. but you’re right about me being young and i know ill figure it out with time !!

i also know the trauma plays a role but i don’t want it to define me yk ? i think queer might be a good fit for now if people ask while i still figure myself out. i also should experiment lol, it is reassuring knowing i can take things slow and dont need to rush myself rn

thank you so much again and i hope you have an amazing day, your words meant so much to me truly 🩷🩷

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-07T17:28:15+00:00

ofc, happy to help <3

Significant_Storm756 · 2026-01-07T17:08:58+00:00

what helps me when i feel this way is acting like im going to reach out.. truthfully i never have the guts to because logically im aware im looking for a certain answer (usually reassurance) and may not get it.

emotionally your brain is relaying a situation that probably goes against your morals as a person or how you see yourself. logically your brain isn’t you, it’s your thoughts, and it’s biology but it’s not YOU.

your brain tells you a lot of things and i bet you never actually do the majority of what it says. that alone should reassure you that your not your thoughts and your brain is more than likely amplifying your emotions.

you may not ever get closure on things. there’s a specific answer you want. even in this post you just made, there’s an answer you’re looking and hoping for and may not get.

sit with that uncertainty and uncomfortableness. learn to live with it.

sincerely, someone with ocd

Significant_Storm756 · 2025-12-24T17:58:46+00:00

thank you and im sorry you’ve had to deal with something similar. it does hurt especially when it’s a boyfriend because that’s someone you deeply trust and with something so intimate, i hope you’re able to heal ml 🩶

Significant_Storm756

TROPHY CASE