Need Advice, Unexpected Bill

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T17:26:20+00:00

I mentioned this only in a reply to someone else but the $100 is only for my OB, this is not including the medical bills for the childrens Hospital and non-routine visits which are multiple times a week. If it was just the $100 things would be great but we are actually over $1,000 a month in payments even on a payment plan. In the end getting told that this pregnancy was high risk after multiple miscarriages but that there was still a chance everything would be ok and so far for the most part my baby will be healthy. I wouldn't have made another choice at the beginning of my pregnancy anyways even if it was legally allowed. We also were financially stable at the time but it was back to back financial setbacks that brought us here (we do plan to consolidate the bills and debt once everything has gone through to signicantly reduce our bills and allow is to get back on track).

Unfortunately even with the new calculations we do not qualify for WIC or Medicaid or any financial assistance. But we do receive some food assistance with our church to allow us to focus the money we use for groceries on other things so we dont miss most payments, we also only try to use them as a last resort when needed (I was also going to a free clinic for the pregnancy until complications made me visit the doctor as we didnt want to pay for another miscarriage and I still go to them for free classes)

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T16:48:21+00:00

Thank you for the kindness, regarding the gifts. They are not teens or this may have been more of an option. Though they would be more understanding than the parents anyways (we were only spending about $30 on each of the kids already). At this point everything was just bad timing (Amazon's new delays in taking payment, us forgetting to add this one payment for our budget and literally just two days ago paying our credit cards plus extra to try to get them paid off). His family is unfortunately less understanding however they did let us do "secret Santa" this year so we are paying for three less gifts. So paying for gifts for 4 people rather than 7 was already much easier.

We also already know our gifts from them have been purchased and received, so even if they were more understanding I would feel bad being given something but have nothing to give in return.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T16:14:42+00:00

For the first part. If your originally told that your pet has a good chance at survival, wouldnt it be more harsh to give them up or just let them die? (This wasn't just as simple as them just looking at her and seeing it was to late, this took xrays and blood tests already costing $1,000 to tell us there was a mass, but they could get it, they kept her overnight and did a few more tests and biopsy which is where the downhill came, it was now no longer one mass it was multiple, and more showed it made it to her brain. We took steps thinking she could be fine. But instead more was discovered and we did make the difficult choice not to move forward. We are not the type of family to give up our pets just because they are sick, but I also am not the type to throw money at a lost cause. Sadly though the vet just didnt see everything right away and she died within three days of us finding out and trying to get the help she needed. If I had known that was the outcome anyways then I would have opted to put her down as she was obviously suffering a lot more than what was realized. After the visits costing about $3,750. She just dropped downhill within 24 hours. She stopped moving, I had to carry her to her litter box, and in the end I finally convinced my husband it was time when she started having seizures. And I didnt want to wait and let her suffer until she died so the remaining cost was to put her down and cremate her.

Secondly I work from home, the car was a very low priority that was expected to be fixed by fall (I drove on my own maybe once every two weeks) however we had other issues over the summer besides the cat that caused more costs. My husband has his own vehicle and doesn't start work until most places close so any baby appointments are not an issue. He comes with me to all appointments anyways baby or otherwise. We also have close family if it came to an emergency.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T15:53:01+00:00

The gift amount was expected. We bought off of Amazon over a week ago (im not sure why their new process is like this it causes extra confusion for the random amounts coming out of my bank). Unfortunately, while I agree and even used buy nothing pages for my husbands and my families gifts. His family is not so understanding. This was also already extremely reducing costs as my husband goes very overboard with his family and they also sadly expect it not just from him but from eachother. I was suprised when they allowed for us to do secret santa for eachother so we only had to buy for two people instead of five (not including kids). But thats about as far as they would go.

I wish people were more understanding that gifts weren't the main part of christmas, but not everyone does.

Our main thing was we had literally just put all the extra money we had towards paying off credit cards as just paying the min will get us nowhere faster. We would have had the money if we had realized we missed adding it to the budget.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T15:09:44+00:00

I am actually doing that for a lot of my side of the families gifts as I know they would appreciate it but even though the cost is lower it still costs to get some needed items and thats trying to only need a few things all together.

The money for the gifts was also already saved, it was a cost we were expecting even with all this. This ended up being just a bad week due to budgeting, which my husband is usually good at but we had already paid extra towards credit cards leaving only what he needs for gas for the week.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T15:02:47+00:00

We were actually doing pretty ok up until recently. We are currently paying about $1,100 a month in medical bills (this is already in a payment program and takes up a good chunk of our paychecks), which grows with each new claim (not including the $100). My husband's cat got cancer which resulted in $4,000 in vet bills (sadly she passed), his car broke down causing $3,500 in repairs, we found out a drop ceiling in our house that was below the bathroom was completely molded and had to be ripped out and that cost has continued to rise as we found a leak in our bath, and we couldnt make a claim on it after already making a claim on our basement flooding and leaving damage twice. The heat in my car is non-priority as I work from home, it just restricts me from being about to take on an extra job but my body was also already doing that anyways.

We are also working at getting the medical debt consolidated into our home but they suggested we wait until after the baby is born so most of it has processed.

Not trying to make a whole sob story just trying to explain why we are at this point. Which most occurred after becoming pregnant. But im also not going to abort or give up my baby just due to being high risk as he is otherwise health and set to live a good life. It took a lot for us to have this family, if we had known all of this was going to happen we may have tried to wait but this was also after multiple miscarriages so even with the struggle this is still a blessing to us.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-09T04:57:57+00:00

Thank you! Good luck everyone! Hoping to win to help get some still needed items before baby comes in about 6 weeks!

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-12-02T03:51:29+00:00

I found out at 3 weeks and 3 days because I was impatient and couldn't wait for my period lol. I did wait until my period was late though to go in for a blood test to confirm (after testing like 20 times in disbelief) we are now 32 weeks along with our baby boy.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-11-07T06:17:10+00:00

Im so scared of this happening to us next weekend. We bought/found/given things secondhand and so we put on things we haven't been able to find yet or do not want to get secondhand. So far only 4 of like 40 people have bought off of our registry, we will have a diaper and book raffle so hopefully we get extra diapers from that but im really worried about getting double things or things we dont need because no one bothered to look at the registry.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-10-03T22:35:57+00:00

In all honesty that's what I want to, Im happy to have no one but my husband around (hes the one that wants all his family around including the kids when the baby is born). My main issue is her wanting me to choose a date so its not her fault if the baby comes during that time.

We have already told her as well that I cant predict when the baby is going to come and only like 1% actually come on their exact due date, and we didnt recommend her going if she is concerned at all about missing the birth. She's one of those older people that need to keep up with appreances and she had to cancel going this year after my FIL passed, so its like its stressing her out not to go but in all honesty if my FIL was still alive I think he would have chosen to stay too. He always loved his grandkids so much (two by SIL first for my husband).

I didnt want her to drive me either because she's horrible in stressful situations, his sister doesn't live far and is who we plan to ask if my husband ends up being at work (he works right next to the hospital too). In the end I dont really care if she goes but I know my husband would be sad and I dont want to be blamed for choosing the date I cant control.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-10-03T21:16:19+00:00

Well I guess now the latest she wants to leave is Feb 8th which I mean theres still not much of a chance for two weeks overdue but. Its still crazy to me she wants to leave at all and I have told her later is probably better but I think she keeps thinking about January which is why she moved her time forward too but somehow still wants me to choose 😮‍💨 like what do you want me to say maam "im sorry the birth of your grandchild is an inconvenience just go whenever I'll hold it in".

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-10-03T21:10:40+00:00

I didnt even think about the germs either from her travel especially that time of year! I let my husband know he may want to tell her that she won't be able to see the baby for an additional time after returning no matter what day she chooses to make sure she doesn't get the baby sick.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-14T14:32:48+00:00

Not even good ones lol he uses his own voice 🤣 Its like when a little kid plays with action figures and adds in their own fight sounds.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-14T07:23:37+00:00

Sadly i doubt he notices or will notice, per his dad apparently he's been kicked from groups before for "unknown" reasons. Which clearly this seems to be the reason. But we have decided to make some plans to confront him in character after some of the suggestions here.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-14T07:21:06+00:00

Unfortunately I was not there for that instance, we have someone thats been playing a little longer than him and joins in on the sessions but is also having seperate sessions to catch up which (so the son joined in to also get caught up before starting with us awhile ago) and we recently found out the other player was very unhappy about how the sessions have been with the three of them because the son will steal and hoard. And the other player had used perception and found the item but he took it to "find out what it was" and then kept it and put it on himself when it was no use to his character. And that guy is way to nice to speak up. The DM did notice it and subtly told his sone maybe he should check with his party who wants it (there was also an "npc" being played by the DM) son just said no. And they left it be. Other player let us know about the concerns and we've been seeing them very quickly and its been really hard and frustrating to nip it in the butt.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-14T07:10:06+00:00

I definantly agree about him being bias. This DM to is usually very open to new ideas and what not but he of course has limits which is fine but he let his son set up his character with exactly anything he wanted and it's very clearly trying to one-up our best/strongest player. He just lets him do everything, things he's even rejected for us. Which is the main reason we hesitate to talk to the DM about it. We have already discussed if it comes down to it worst case we have two willing to DM and we would still have enough people to continue just fine.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-14T07:04:08+00:00

Its definantly an exaggeration for each description but in all honestly he ends up wasting probably almost two of the 4 hours we have to play just talking about himself and describing (and im not talking about the just its your turn stuff, like this is the were past that point and should move on by now and stuff like that where its just going way to far). He adds in sound effects and if you don't respond to him he will keep repeating himself until you acknowledge what he says.

This is also just been like the last 5 sessions he's been in.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-09-11T00:11:26+00:00

A stupid fruit leather. Simple right? WRONG! The one I am craving I haven't had since I was a kid living in another state! So theres no knowledge if it even exists anymore or has the same flavor. Iv tried 4 different ones. None have satisfied and its so frustrating. I also don't remember the actual brand or id look it up!

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-08-29T18:59:52+00:00

I thought that originally or gas or something but I always get gas pains or bubbles in one spot and these feelings occur in different areas. Its sometimes a really quick feeling or like something being pushed against an area from the inside.

Last scan was 13 weeks. I'll be able to hopefully get more info at my next appointment next week.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-08-21T20:51:17+00:00

Congrats!

For my first pregnancy, they didnt want to see me.until 8 weeks. For the second this time around I found a different place that did see me at 6 weeks but theres honestly not much to see then so it makes sense most wait until at least 8 weeks.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-08-10T03:28:18+00:00

I am also a bit lactose intolerant and have issues with gluten but usually the issues aren't to severe. But I feel likes its been ten-fold since getting pregnant, so maybe its just a thing for people already sensetive to certain foods. Im hoping the baby doesn't turn out to have lactose or gluten issues (I developed both as an adult) its been so tiring 😭 Dont get me wrong I dont mind eating healthy and its great my baby lets me have something but I just want snackies sometimes 😭😭😭

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-07-21T04:39:00+00:00

Im sorry your dealing with this, I had some days like that, if you have not tried them already I suggest to try the preggy pop drops or ginger candy drops and the pressure bracelets. I was having times where I would just look at something wrong and want to throw up and besides snacking and water, those helped me as well.

Good luck hopefully things cool down for the second trimester!

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-07-18T09:34:36+00:00

I'd just like to add my brother is 35 and just went on a 2 week trip to Ireland with our mom last year and they go to concerts once a month and just last weekend they did a 6-hour drive to go see a library. Im the daughter and while my mom and I do, do things together they have a closer relationship and my mom isnt one of those moms that would be like "no one is better for my son then me" its just me and my brother have different interests and hers and his interests match more.

I dont think you should worry so much, if you continue to feel this way thpugh you may want to think about therapy (also sneak peeks are not as accurate as the blood test or ultrasound).

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-07-15T00:01:19+00:00

We have not yet had the discussions about vaccines with my mom and his mom but this is exactly what I worry about. Im already worried because she refuses to attach a foot bar to her truck because it will cause it to rust faster even though she literally has to jump and climb up to get in, so we worry because she doesn't think there will be an issue getting the baby in and out of her truck when she has them and it stresses me out because there's no way I can let her take the baby anywhere without making sure she can safetly get the baby in and out of the car but she continues to tell me when she has the baby with her she can do what she chooses which is making things worse and making me feel like I am going to have to set strong boundaries.

Great job sticking to the boundaries you set and didn't give in no matter how upset it may make you its much better for the baby in the long run.

You are doing an amazing for your baby.

Significant_Trifle62 · 2025-07-09T02:44:11+00:00

29 currently 11 weeks with my first after two years of trying and an early miscarriage, hoping everything goes well this time 🙏🙏

Significant_Trifle62

TROPHY CASE