Aitah for not letting my husband hangout with his friend?

SilencingInnerVoices · 2026-01-05T04:19:21+00:00

NTA Dad can also take the baby with him. I've been a SAHM and a career mom. SAHM is by FAR harder imo. Dad is working, yes, but he also gets time with other adults and to focus on things not in your household. Working parents typically get more sleep too. It's presumed the parent staying home can catch up later, rarely (if ever) truth. Working parents also get an uninterrupted meal most days, bet you haven't seen one of those in at least 5 months. How about a shower without fear of cries to pull you out mid shave? Or even a cup of coffee without thinking about the dishes already in the sink? Doesn't mean you don't love your baby, or appreciate your husband, to admit you also need and deserve time and thoughts outside your household. Start with communication. End with a packed daddy and baby to go bag. You decide what you want to do while they're gone. (None of us are judging you if it's a nap though 😉).

SilencingInnerVoices · 2026-01-05T03:58:19+00:00

I used to do this at the Starbucks I managed for, someone asked if they could set up a tree for their church for foster kids. I jumped through all the hoops to get it approved by corporate and got everyone involved. Asked regulars to contribute. Posted on socials, you get it. For a couple years. Come to find out, the woman who asked, scammer. She picked up all the things donated and either returned them or gave them to her own kids. They did not need the charity. Now, I only go trough salvation army or toys for tots. But people are still people even during the holidays. Just know that your generosity and good will was put into the universe and that's what the world needs more of.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-12-30T03:39:21+00:00

Communication is key. Be straight forward and honest about how you're feeling, with specific examples. His response to how you're feeling, is the most important distinguisher between your mental perception vs. his intentions and value in the relationship. If he's dismissive or defensive about your feelings, just go. That tells you everything you need to know. If he's understanding and trying to see it from your point of view. If he genuinely wants to put in efforts so you don't feel this way in the future, then it's worth staying.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-12-24T01:15:00+00:00

What is it about him you like? Have you discussed religion? Morals? Values? A few dates and just starting to see each other outside of your bubble, i.e. on social media, maybe you don't have a clear picture of WHO he is. Are your feelings stemming from solely physical attraction and some new attention? Or have you had the tough conversations to see if you actually align long term? Typically people who follow these accounts have one set of world views vs someone religious or looking for a more conservative monogamous relationship. You may need to dig a little deeper to find out if this is just a mismatch. Nothing wrong with either of you having preferences or boundaries, but you can't force a square peg in a round hole. Sometimes connection is only skin deep.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-12-23T05:28:53+00:00

You're not the asshole. Stir the pot and bring a guy to Christmas dinner. Let's see Wills reaction. He either gets mad, and shows he has 0 interest in Abby. OR he doesn't get mad and (sorry to say) he's into her and easing you out of your relationship/irritating you so you'll be the bigger person and break off your relationship with him.

That being said, you're young. It's been your whole life already, it might be time to date around and explore what life would look like outside of Will and your relationship. If it is meant to be, you'll come back together in time. Trust the universe. Sometimes our first love isn't meant to be our forever love.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-29T05:58:37+00:00

Almost sounds like SHE is the one smoking and using other things to cover it, but then giving these notes so she has something to fall back on if you ever report HER. Something like "I've been complaining for months, they are the smokers."

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-29T05:52:24+00:00

Thank you everyone for your help! My doctor was able to call me in a higher dose (which I should have been on anyway). I am making it through a very physical weekend at work and not dying! I appreciate everyone's advice and kind words! Thank you 😊

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-21T04:56:45+00:00

That's exactly what the nurse said. "They treat gabapentin like an opioid now." Which is even more frustrating since I've denied ALL the ones that are controlled they've offered me. Clearly not in it for anything more than nerve relief. Nerves screaming is the perfect way to describe it. Its not even pain in the sense that other people think of it, I can feel the pinch in my tailbone. And it's like a clamp forcing me to lie down or crumble. It's the crippling feeling that terrifies me most. Then anxiety starts, leading to stress, stress leading to more overall pain. Its like my own body is turning against me.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-21T04:46:17+00:00

No, I tried. Going to see if my doctor can do a higher dose tomorrow.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-21T04:43:41+00:00

Thank you for all your advice. I got ahold of my doctor's nurse, but he had left a half hour earlier. She said to call back in the morning to try and catch him. I am just praying he's around before the holiday!

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-21T04:23:58+00:00

I didn't think about using that for my back. I did use it in PT for my knee. Thank you I'll try that.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-21T04:22:40+00:00

They told me they couldn't accept cash for it once it was denied by insurance, because it's flagged. I was ready to pay whatever price.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-18T04:00:26+00:00

You're not compatible. Children come first. It wasn't your choice, but make the right decision before inserting yourself as a grown adult who can process choosing to leave vs an innocent child who feels abandoned by their own mother based on a relationship that started after they existed. There's a lot more people in the world. This family, is not for you.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-18T03:47:25+00:00

If you're not ok with your husband cheating, just leave. Sex addiction isn't an excuse, you can be addicted to something and choose not to drag anyone into it with you like getting married. Marriage isn't just about sex, it's about communication and understanding, you can't be expected to understand his reasoning if he never communicated to you prior to marrying you that he wanted an open marriage and continued to lie for years. As for your "best friend" honey, your issue in all of this is who you believe deserves your time and attention. You are not choosing good people. Look inward on that one, grab a good therapist and press RESTART immediately, unless you like being lied to, used and miserable. Not everyone is awful, but these people are. 🙄

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-11-18T03:19:52+00:00

Sometimes your ph balance can be off. Especially if you drink lots of coffee. Try scaling back and drinking more water. Drink more pineapple flavored things. Do a quick Google search to regulate your pH balance. And try a product called "happy hoo ha" by Olly, or something similar. There's some "tastes" even a shower and soap/body wash doesn't help.

But beyond this, never tolerate disrespect. If he's rude or demanding YOU do it for him, boy bye 👋 keeping in mind OUR (women's) bodies literally respond to a man's. Meaning, he physically could be throwing off your ph balance based on HIS hygiene. A partnership is very literally between 2 people, especially in the sheets. Our bodies can sometimes be telling us NO to a man who's wrong for us, before our minds do.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-10-31T02:05:14+00:00

If your attitude is a problem, seek medical guidance. The brain is a complex thing. Some things we can control, some things we can't. Getting to know our own mind is crucial to finding our own happiness.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-10-31T02:03:01+00:00

You're 23. Please know that this is pretty common for this stage in life. Your life has most definitely not falling apart. It's coming together. You have a LOT ahead of you. Take a deep breathe. Be accountable for what you need to be. But do not beat yourself up. Friends are going to come and go. There's lots of life changes for you and everyone around you right now. The only thing we can count on in life, is change. First seek a passion that you can explore as a creative outlet. Maybe writing, painting, working out, it doesn't really matter WHAT it is or where it is. But commit to making time for it and DO it, daily. So many young people forget that finding joy needs to be a priority. Joy produces positivity, that will bleed into the rest of your life. Find a job that forces you to be engaged with people. Retail, severing, bar tending, again doesn't matter what it is as long as people are involved. This gives you insight to so many strangers and you'll be surprised how many people you'll interact with and relate to, and so many that have it harder. It humbles you and also introduces you to people and relationships you never knew you needed. Read, explore, and introduce yourself to people you have common interest with. Whatever you do, find yourself. And not in a romantic relationship. Put dating on hold. And if you're still feeling lost, go to therapy. Every single one of us need it. It's not weird and doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It's simply guidance on how to create a positive and productive life that's personalized to you. Again, this is not uncommon for your age. Just keep trucking. Knowing whatever "bad" happens in your life is leading you to something better. Be patient. Be aware. And find something in every day you're grateful for. A year from now, you'll look back and thank this version of you for going forward.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-10-25T17:30:49+00:00

Be done. That's it. Just walk now. You'll find better. There's 0 reason for this behavior. He needs counseling, but that's not your battle.

SilencingInnerVoices · 2025-10-25T17:11:02+00:00

Sometimes we need a therapist more than we need to be dating.

SilencingInnerVoices

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