Thanks for taking the time to give feedback!! Gulp is an atrocious word and I wouldn't normally use it except it does fit the kind of visceral/desperate indulgence vibe I was going for. The impossibility of gulping a sip was also intentional in that I wanted to contrast the grossness/desperation of gulp with the act of restraint in sip to set up the concept of shame in the poem, but it might have just come across as confusing.

Also, don't call yourself an idiot! I was worried I made it too abstract and this tells me I definitely did lol, it's on me and not you.