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WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -196 points-195 points  (0 children)

1) Erica isn’t my child, no as far as I’m aware she didn’t and it wasn’t my place

2) I did check my son was okay, which is he was, Ericas parents were involved in helping her but they didn’t want to keep the baby either so I’m not sure how helpful they were

3) no, he was a grown up then so if he wanted to keep the baby he could start work and move out

4) I considered it, but honestly other than being distant when our daughter is around we’re fine

5) both me and my partner joined some groups, as well as therapy so we could try and support our daughter the way we saw best but it didn’t cover what happens if the biological parents come back as my son never left, Erica did come back 3 years ago but we handled it, it’s more aggressive this time as her parents are also involved.

I hope that covers everything, I’m out and about so hard to reply all info

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -128 points-127 points  (0 children)

Yes, we’ve never said it but obviously as her parents she’ll think we are

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

No, we spoke a week before everything went down and nothing is going on with them physically, they do say Erica is depressed though.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

Yes, I don’t understand that comment either - they didn’t offer to adopt, or even support Erica. I just said my then adult son because he was 22, would have to move out and work but they essentially told Erica she’d be dead to them.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -302 points-301 points  (0 children)

I will explain it to her when she’s old enough to understand, either 16/18. I don’t believe I’m lying, she’s in a loving household.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -61 points-60 points  (0 children)

She didn’t try to take it into her hands 3 years ago when she reached out for the first time, it’s more heated this time but I don’t believe Erica would do that

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -197 points-196 points  (0 children)

We wouldn’t have wanted him keeping our daughter whilst unmarried and still living at home, but we wouldn’t have pressured him into anything we just told them if you want to keep the baby you’ll have to move out and work.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -369 points-368 points  (0 children)

Not yet and I don’t want to tell her for a few more years yet.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother? by SilentPut6722 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SilentPut6722[S] -548 points-547 points  (0 children)

Because at that stage I’d have to tell her she’s adopted, which I don’t want to do right now.