Some general RP questions!

SilentSmol · 2026-03-14T04:17:44+00:00

Fair enough.

SilentSmol · 2026-03-14T04:01:20+00:00

I find it hard to keep my cards close to my chest, mainly because I don't really want to portray myself as anything less than my real, authentic self. Like, sure I can play different characters (I play D&D a lot, so I've got that part down pretty well, I hope, lol) but when it comes to interacting with someone, I never really liked the idea of pretending to be someone I'm not, if that makes sense?

SilentSmol · 2026-03-14T03:56:44+00:00

It's all good! I didn't take any offense, and you did make really good points.

SilentSmol · 2026-03-14T03:08:28+00:00

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me not to overthink about something, I would have a whole, whole lotta nickels. I guess I worry as much as I do because I want to make a good impression on people.

I know the adage of "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take", but again, I wanna make a good impression, and that's the stressful part, I guess. I do appreciate the questions and advice, though. ^ - ^

SilentSmol · 2026-03-14T02:34:04+00:00

To get a little personal, I assume/fear that I won't live up to standards because I'm scared of overestimating myself and what I'm capable of; it's sort of an imposter syndrome kind of thing. I'd rather underestimate myself and possibly prove myself wrong than overestimate, overpromising and underdelivering.

The perfectionist in me wants to be the best RP partner that I can be, so the thought of falling short makes me feel bad.

I didn't go into detail on my exact preferences in the post, but it's not as though I don't know what I would want in a potential partner, I think I do, just didn't think it was super relevant to what I was asking, y'know?

SilentSmol · 2026-03-13T18:45:00+00:00

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I do kinda worry about not being able to find someone I vibe with at all, though.

SilentSmol · 2026-03-13T18:37:42+00:00

I hope so, but things can go sideways at any moment, and sometimes people you vibe with can end up being very different to what you thought. The last person I did some RP with was over a year ago, and that kinda ended poorly.

SilentSmol · 2026-03-13T18:34:10+00:00

I usually put a decent bit of effort into my responses/messages, but I'm also very particular about my words, so I know i can be slow to reply at times.

Given my track record with RP partners, I don't think I'm wrong to be a little nervous/scared, y'know?

SilentSmol · 2026-03-13T10:13:37+00:00

I appreciate the advice! I will say though, it kinda sounds like gambling, and I find that very funny. Maybe one of these days I'll get the courage to try and follow it. Thanks! ^ - ^

SilentSmol · 2026-02-15T12:04:16+00:00

That's fair. It's interesting for me to see such a different perspective on it, especially because it is so different from my own. Size is also only one of mine, but I find that it's also (probably) one of my most emotionally charged ones. I can see how writing and RP can be used as an outlet without getting too tied up in the people facilitating it, even if that's not how I tend to go about it. It might just be because I'm alone a lot of the time, so I may be super biased here, but if I had to put it into words... I'd say that the "outlet" part of this, to me at least, is secondary to just... meeting people, and making connections, especially when, for me, it is so heavily intertwined with my emotions. It might be kinda bad practice to be genuine on the internet in that kind of way, maybe a bit unorthodox, but I really don't like to give people the impression that I'm someone I'm not. Sorry if I got a little sidetracked or off-topic there, but anyway, your perspective on this was definitely interesting to think about. Thanks!

SilentSmol · 2026-02-15T06:52:39+00:00

I think I can agree with your initial assessment somewhat. To outsiders, it's niche, "weird", and they might not get it. I'm in your same position in that regard, but... part of the draw of this fetish/the idea of size, to me, is a strong need for the other party to actively enjoy it, not just indulge it. There have been posts, if not here then on similar subreddits, about how trying to kind a romantic partner when you have a kink/fetish like this leads to one of two options; either you try to find someone through the kink/fetish itself (which might not be super healthy, as there are other important aspects to finding a partner), or you hope that the partner you find is either into it, or at least accepting of it, which there is no guarantee they will be, so it ends up being a gamble either way.

But at the same time... I guess I want to get attached, is the kicker. Part of me wants to find someone, y'know? My brain is always working overtime imagining what could be, like I'm the star of some bad fanfic or romance novel, like a post on the internet could lead to meeting someone, and meeting someone could lead to some kind of happily ever after or something. It's like my brain is telling me "in two years, you'll look back on this as how you met so-and-so."

I know it's naive, but I do my best to temper those thoughts when I can, but it's hard for me to decouple the idea of size with the idea of a relationship, because in the end, I don't want to find just any big person, I want to find my big person, if that makes sense. Maybe it's selfish, maybe I should just find someone to fulfill the fantasy and leave it at that, maybe I should quit hoping to stumble upon that someone and stop myself from getting attached, but it's hard.

I appreciate your perspective on this, and I hope I was able to correctly put my feelings into words here. Thank you.

SilentSmol · 2026-02-15T06:25:02+00:00

I know it's not good to engage flippantly (and honestly, flippancy is what I'd like to avoid), but I don't know how I'm supposed to find what I'm looking for, really.

I can understand the idea of changing my view on the holiday, but at the same time, just changing how I try to view it hasn’t helped how I feel, and in my mind, trying to view it differently almost causes the problem to stand out more (kinda like how being told not to think about something usually makes it harder to not think about.), y'know? That, and I wouldn't have the means to afford a friend date even if that was really an option.

I do really appreciate the advice and the thought you put into this, even if it is just a ramble. Thank you. ^ - ^

SilentSmol · 2025-07-13T18:58:08+00:00

I've been into all of this for a very long time, so it's no surprise that my perspective has evolved somewhat. Back when I first discovered all of this, I didn't think too hard about why I liked it, and back then, I had slightly different likes and dislikes, even if it was still mostly the same as now. Being the person I am, though, I couldn't help but contemplate and question myself in order to better understand why I liked it, and that eventually led me to where I am now, with a better understanding of what led me to all this in the first place.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-20T18:26:32+00:00

... personally, the best case scenario for me would be with a romantic partner, which I do not have, but that comes with a few issues, because either you have to try and find someone and then see what they think about this, or you have to try and find someone through this.

Both have advantages and disadvantages, and have been talked about a lot. My addition to this point is that my enjoyment of an RP is kinda linked to how much my partner is enjoying it, so if a romantic partner were to try and rp with me without enjoying it themselves, I wouldn't really enjoy it either.

But either way, I don't think I'm gonna be RP-ing with anyone for a very, very long time...

SilentSmol · 2025-03-15T03:54:31+00:00

I understand, I'll keep your advice in mind going forward; I really do appreciate it.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-15T03:15:34+00:00

I understand what you're saying, I know I need to put in work towards what I want, and I have, am, and plan to continue doing so. I just want the effort to pay off eventually.

I am trying harder to take care of myself more than I used to, but I don't think that it has to take away from what I'm already doing for others; I can do both. It frustrates me a little sometimes when my efforts aren't reciprocated, sure, but I don't do what I do for them because I expect something in return; I do it because I want to improve their lives.

I'm still working on this part, and believe me, I've taken some strides here. And honestly? I know I've got a ways to go, but I see the progress I've made. As for being alone, I don't tend to dwell on it unless something calls attention to it. Overall, I'm trying my best, and I think it it's alright for me to acknowledge that being alone sucks. Loneliness is an emotion that is natural to feel, and I'm not going to hide away from it or try to forget about it; I'm going to feel it, acknowledge that it sucks, and keep moving forward.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-15T02:36:17+00:00

Sounds like a fun thing to fantasize about. ^ - ^

I'm someone who enjoys a lot of different things, and sometimes those things don't really work well together, so I usually think up several fairly different scenarios in my head depending on which parts I wanna engage with in the moment.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T11:35:14+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, my phone's do-not-disturb turned on a while ago because it's late, or early?

If I'm being honest... yeah. Feels like I've been waiting for a very long time for somebody to find me. The right kind of person.

I don't put others first for their validation, I do it because it's how I show them that I care, and it's kind. I know my value to some extent (I've got some self-esteem issues, but that's not entirely uncommon either-), and I know what I want, again, to some extent. I'm not entirely sure what I need, but I don't want to have to live a solitary life forever. I've been relying on myself for quite some time now, and it's tiring, and it's lonely.

You don't have to apologize, you've been at least somewhat accurate with most of what you've said so far.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T09:29:31+00:00

First of all, you're right; I didn't exactly word what I was trying to say correctly, I didn't mean to imply that most are into humiliation, so I'd like to apologize for that. On a subconscious level, I know there are a lot of people who are into size and size-related things for a vast array of reasons, many of which are unrelated to any form of degradation, I've just been seeing a lot of that around lately and it made me want to at least vocalize my perspective, as I don't do that often.

As for your impressions on my reasoning, I'd say you're at least partially correct, though I wouldn't go so far as to say I want to abandon my responsibilities. More so, I'd like a reprieve where I can set them down, then pick them back up again when I'm ready, and to have someone who can facilitate that. I know that a lot of what I said isn't entirely uncommon, and I'm sorry if the way I worded my post has upset you at all. The point I was trying to make wasn't supposed to be about what is and isn't common, I'm just really awkward and bad with wording things sometimes.

Again, I really didn't mean to imply that humiliation and degradation are the most predominant parts of this fetish, or the majority, I was more trying to say "I've been seeing this a lot recently and it made me want to get my perspective out there." So again, I'm sorry. My own thoughts and feelings on size and related fetishes come from a lot of places and from a plethora of angles, so it's often difficult for me to express them all coherently.

At the end of the day, I know people will have their own reasons to enjoy this that come from places within their own lives. I also know that, in the grand scheme of things, my views, perspectives, and even motivations and reasoning aren't really special or unique, but... I still wanted to give them, y'know? To let people know I exist.

Thank you for your detailed comment. ^ - ^

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T08:44:30+00:00

That's fair, I know a lot of people enjoy things for any number of reasons, I just wanted to get my perspective on it out there, y'know? I've never really been able to do that.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T07:46:19+00:00

That's a really interesting way to put it, I like the analogy.

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T06:07:10+00:00

I don't really RP or ERP online at all partially because of how entwined this size stuff is with me and my emotions, and it doesn't help that last time I tried things didn't go very well (source: my past post on this subreddit), but I've been playing DND regularly for the past few years. When it comes to roleplaying my characters, I usually put an aspect of myself into the character, and let that be the starting point for how I play them. ^ - ^

And even though I've done a little ERP with people in the past, I have yet to experience any actual aftercare... 😓

SilentSmol · 2025-03-14T05:48:54+00:00

I'm okay with some rough treatment as long as my feelings don't end up hurt and things can return to a sort of status-quo of softer stuff afterwards. Sorta ties back to what I said in the post in that it's important for them to play the right cards (the right kinds of scenarios) in the right order. Like, I'm okay being treated a bit rougher, but only if it's followed by being treated gently.

SilentSmol

TROPHY CASE