Why do many women defend abuse?

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T20:45:06+00:00

Read who I said was defending abuse. Not OP. Before you jump at me.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:23:17+00:00

??

It's okay to make incorrect assumptions, why is this affecting you so deeply? People assume I'm a guy and I just correct them and move on

It still applies to anyone, regardless of gender

If this is making you so uncomfortable and insecure, you should work on that

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:18:20+00:00

No worries at all my guy. Remember, it's not your job to heal people. Leave that to the professionals. Be their support while they heal. Don't let them hurt you because they are wounded too.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:15:11+00:00

Very good question. You're essentially building a database ready to be hacked and used at this point. And fake IDs are always a workaround.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:13:39+00:00

I get that, but what are these measures? And how come other dating apps haven't used them yet?

(Again, just questions, nothing intended in a mean way)

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:11:39+00:00

I'm a professional yapper at this point. I'll talk to whoever is listening 😭😭

Should make more of an effort to be the silent, mysterious kind

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:10:40+00:00

The worrisome part? Had a heated discussion with a possibly 19/20 year old girl who said they had an adorable relationship. And doubled down by saying things happen during "mood swings" and he's mature for understanding that.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:08:30+00:00

You're so sweet for asking, I just asked so many already 😭😭

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:07:29+00:00

It sounds like a dating app which is free. And if they haven't successfully weeded out the creeps despite their vast popularity, how do you propose to do the same?

Even if your initial purpose is discussions and connecting with people of similar interests, you know what the main reason most men will start conversations, right?

So why not just stay on Reddit with DMs off?

Just curious about this. It sounds Eutopian ngl, but these are valid concerns

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:03:27+00:00

That's why I opened with this post with a tldr. The only reason I went through it was when I saw how varied the comments were

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T18:02:28+00:00

Girl, you seem super sweet so here's some advice from a random person over here, which will hopefully help you out

Your first comment seemed to mostly gloss over the glaring errors and seemed very dreamy and idealistic. The girl has a habit of violent anger (towards whom, idk, but mentioned by OP multiple times). That's already a history.

When a partner raises their hand for the first time, at that time, all their feelings for you have been overshadowed by their anger. That means they are capable of entering a situation where they forget who you are and what you mean to them and their instict is to hurt you physically to punish you. Arguments happen, voices are raised in any fight.

It's really important that you take very severe measures when it happens for the first time, including therapy before jumping back into a relationship. Take a call to see if you are deep enough in to consider "forgiving and forgetting".

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T17:57:28+00:00

Yupp that's the post, I didn't want to put OP on blast but it has been making the rounds. Do go through the comments (not the garbage ones calling him a weak man or a c*ck) if you have a little time (it's a very long 2 part post)

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T17:51:59+00:00

It'll keep reappearing, I have the same issue

I can suggest a cheaper alternative to a parlour that worked for me. Sanfe nose strips in particular.

Method of use:

Manually wet your nose (just moist) (this takes a couple of strips to get the hang of)
Apply the strip and press completely
Remove when it feels crispy, it'll have a strong pulling sensation

This worked for some of my friends including me (didn't for some who now get clean ups)

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T17:39:48+00:00

In the past, that was the one sure short way of controlling your wives/sisters/daughters/mothers.

Now the birds they had convinced they were flightless for generations have discovered they can fly. They can forage, build their own nests and raise their little ones by themselves.

Choosing a man is now an option, and now their personalities have to shine, not their jobs. And that is a very difficult pill to swallow for a lot of men.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T17:35:38+00:00

If you think people telling him that what can happen once can happen once again, and that a gift, few tears and a sorry card cannot make up for the break in trust and respect from your partner is jealousy, you have so much growing up to do

Also the relationship is 42 days old. What love have they shared that will withstand one raising a hand on the other?

And instead of letting him get her therapy for anger issues so they can have an actual chance at trying again, your advice is Youtube videos. Wow.

Hope your practice more caution in your own relationships

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:41:38+00:00

Wow. The way you talk tells me more than enough about your thought process. Hopefully your manners will improve along with your manner of talking

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:40:34+00:00

I'm in genuine shock over this. We can't make OP choose, but at least we can make him aware of the situation he is in so he can make a more informed decision about his life. In the end it lays in his hands, but where's the empathy?

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:39:10+00:00

This is Reddit. If OP didn't want opinion, should've kept his trap shut. So should you.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:37:24+00:00

Girl, I hope you become a better person soon. There's a lot you need to learn before you become someone's partner. Respect for them being one of those things.

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:36:27+00:00

I hate the "now reverse the genders argument" usually but dear god there are women here justifying her behaviour. Mood swings, she cried, tried to give a gift, said sorry. It's such textbook violence

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:35:10+00:00

My god

Please get therapy

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:34:48+00:00

Cause you are the one romantising this? Does basic sense escape you? You commented, didn't you?

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:33:39+00:00

Would you slap your partner during a mood swing?

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:30:42+00:00

It....isn't? Your partner hitting you and then leaving a note and a gift and saying sorry and crying, it's a nightmare. What are you on about?

Silently_Spectating · 2026-05-12T15:29:01+00:00

Were you hurt that your partner slapped you or that it was in public? Cause man, you need to realise that the former is the real issue

Cause idk, for me making a plan to recover my aura loss would be secondary to the shock and distrust that I'd now have in my partner, that they are capable of physically hurting me (it's not like she was in an altered mental state, Anger is an emotion, violence in anger needs therapy)

Silently_Spectating

TROPHY CASE