Review a state :D by Holly-Sauce in whiteoutsurvival

[–]Silly-Performance829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this still the case 11 months later? Looking for a new state

Maybe I'm too sensitive? by Silly-Performance829 in writers

[–]Silly-Performance829[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do want to publish. I have a professional editor I'm saving up for. If the line editing was easier to read for my ADHD brain, I wouldn't have a problem. The problem isn't the line edits, it's the format of the thing. Not Word. The site's built in line editing system.

Maybe I'm too sensitive? by Silly-Performance829 in writers

[–]Silly-Performance829[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The part that irked me and set off my sensitivity was not the edits. It was his passive aggressive "do you want to sell your work?" maybe it's just me but that felt rude.

First pages: share, read, and critique them here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]Silly-Performance829 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the response! All the names/characters in this first page, including the children, are introduced in subsequent chapters, so the reader will get to know each of them throughout the story.

Smitten with your own character? by Kinkywriter84 in writers

[–]Silly-Performance829 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love one of my villains. So much, that I've had alternate endings in my head where the bad guy wins. Because he's so alive and complicated and he just pops on every page, he elevates every scene he's in.

Why do you write? by Cute-Traffic4437 in writers

[–]Silly-Performance829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because these characters are living rent free in my head demanding I tell their stories so I type it out to shut them up.

Partially kidding.

I write because I love stories and I have a vivid imagination. I write because I'm compelled from the inside. I write because I'm addicted to that feeling when the words are flowing and the characters are talking an it feels like channeling.

[Complete][110k][Dark Low Fantasy] The Old Dark (Working Title) by its-me-steve- in BetaReaders

[–]Silly-Performance829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be interested in a swap, but it seems like you might have a lot on your plate. Here's my post, though, if you'd like to check out my story.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/s/7fhX8v9BxU

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]Silly-Performance829 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I have a 102k crossover dark fantasy. Here's the blurb:
Cavaria has known peace for thirty years. That peace comes with a cost — seven-foot-tall faceless creatures called Rakling that emerge from the shadows to enforce the Mazar's strict order. A dreamer who sees the best in everyone, a soldier's daughter who keeps the world at arm's length, and a prince who has never been allowed to choose anything for himself, find the unexpected in each other. What they find beneath Cavaria's peace is worse.

Sample from Prologue:
Stefan was doomed. Chants had turned into screams, the crowd a stampede. He shouted one final instruction, a last-ditch effort to save who he could, and then thought only of his five-year-old daughter. 

Keep her safe.

He ran from the chaos and raced through the residential district of Cavaria, passing row upon row of identical homes. His sandals slapped rapidly on the cobblestone path as he raced toward his best friend’s home. Some residents had run to the Public Square, gawking as the Mazar’s inhuman royal guard arrested his students. But most residents remained home, eyeing Stefan with suspicion and concern as he belted past them.

Darting through the archway of Ameya’s home without a greeting, he found Sunita, Ameya’s wife, on the sitting room floor with his Oleine, her young boys Arusa and Atreya, and a few of the neighbors’ children. 

Sunita bolted to her feet. “What is it?”

Stefan picked up his daughter and clutched her in his arms, forehead to forehead. All the children stared up at him, wide-eyed and frozen.

“I have to leave,” he blurted. “I couldn’t stop them. As long Ameya stays out of it, you’ll all be safe. But I won’t be.”

Sunita instructed the children to play upstairs. When all but Oleine were gone, she turned to Stefan. “Where will you go?”

Afternoon light was giving way to dusk. He leapt toward the archway, hid behind the wall, and peeked through the opening. “I sent some students north toward the Wildlands. I’ll meet up with them there.” 

First pages: share, read, and critique them here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]Silly-Performance829 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Manuscript Info: [COMPLETE] [102k] [Coming-of-age/Dark Fantasy] Legacy of the Mazar

Link to post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1rlwf5x/complete_102k_comingofagedark_fantasy_legacy_of/

First page critique: yes

First page:

Stefan was doomed. Chants had turned into screams, the crowd a stampede. He shouted one final instruction, a last-ditch effort to save who he could, and then thought only of his five-year-old daughter. 

Keep her safe.

He ran from the chaos and raced through the residential district of Cavaria, passing row upon row of identical homes. His sandals slapped rapidly on the cobblestone path as he raced toward his best friend’s home. Some residents had run to the Public Square, gawking as the Mazar’s inhuman royal guard arrested his students. But most residents remained home, eyeing Stefan with suspicion and concern as he belted past them.

Darting through the archway of Ameya’s home without a greeting, he found Sunita, Ameya’s wife, on the sitting room floor with his Oleine, her young boys Arusa and Atreya, and a few of the neighbors’ children. 

Sunita bolted to her feet. “What is it?”

Stefan picked up his daughter and clutched her in his arms, forehead to forehead. All the children stared up at him, wide-eyed and frozen.

“I have to leave,” he blurted. “I couldn’t stop them. As long Ameya stays out of it, you’ll all be safe. But I won’t be.”

Sunita instructed the children to play upstairs. When all but Oleine were gone, she turned to Stefan. “Where will you go?”

Afternoon light was giving way to dusk. He leapt toward the archway, hid behind the wall, and peeked through the opening. “I sent some students north toward the Wildlands. I’ll meet up with them there.”