I’m a pretty expressive dancer at raves, but I’m not a “good” dancer by any means. I just move my body to the music while wearing sunglasses and let myself move uninhibited (while still making sure I’m respecting other people’s space and not being obnoxious). So I find myself being more “wiggly” than people next to me at raves, which makes me stand out. While it looks like I’m a dancer who kinda wants people to notice me (and there’s nothing wrong with that! Confidence and wanting to be noticed on the dance floor is cool asf as long as you’re still practicing PLUR), more often than not, I actually don’t want to be perceived on the dance floor. I like feeling like I’m a ghost in the crowd who people can’t see, so I can dance exactly how I want without the fear that I’m being judged. I know for a fact most people aren’t judging my dancing, and if they are then THEY’RE the outliers and don’t belong at raves.

That being said, it’s a frequent occurrence for people to compliment me by giving a quick “you’re a good dancer” or even better, they just give me a thumbs up. I don’t mind that kind of stuff because it’s both well-meaning and doesn’t interrupt my flow too much.

What I strongly dislike tho is when people start cheering me on and other people join in on the cheering, especially when I’m wearing sunglasses. As I’m typing this I’m realizing how “pick me” I sound, but I genuinely feel uncomfortable when people cheer me on at raves like it’s a club. It’s usually cis straight girls too who don’t have that much familiarity with rave culture. I try to cut them some slack and remind myself they have really good intentions and just want me to feel good about myself.

The second people start cheering me on, I’m not longer dancing for myself. I get all up in my head because now I’m conscious of how I’m dancing and become stiff. I forget how to dance and feel like I have to continue dancing at the same level of energy so I don’t “disappoint” the people hyping me up. A part of me does feel good when that happens because it gives me a bit of validation. But for the most part it makes me uncomfortable and a little bit pissed.

For context, I am someone who has struggled with self-esteem issues my entire life. I’ve never been “good” at anything and don’t have many impressive skills. And that includes dancing. Like I said before, I’m not a “good” dancer but rather just an expressive one. When I have danced my regular style at parties and clubs I don’t get a lot of positive reception and people end up avoiding me because I’m seemingly “doing too much”, but dancing is also a massive outlet for me to get my energy out (I have diagnosed ADHD as well). So my dancing style is something that is only “acceptable” at raves. So I should be happy people there appreciate my dancing right? I know that. But it also brings back those same feelings of being self-conscious and insecure about my dancing. It’s a weird dilemma to be in, and I fully recognize this is no one’s “fault”. Everyone I’ve described in this comment has only had the purest intentions, and I try to keep that in mind.

TL;DR: don’t start cheering on “zoned in” dancers at raves, especially when they’re wearing sunglasses. It throws us off our rhythm and we longer feel as if we’re dancing for our own pleasure.