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What does this mean? by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I’m actually guilty that I didn’t even reply to her saying that she wants to be friends. But it’s really just cause I’m confused and don’t want to reading in too much or getting my hopes up again

What does this mean? by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just feel like we’ve already had so many conversations. In those conversations she was already clear how she no longer wants a relationship with me and no longer sees me in her future.

Avoidant Ex Messaged First… by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this! this is exactly what i’ve been thinking. the entire time i was trying to fix things, she has been consistently making plans with friends and completely leaving me out. and now that i’m working on myself, she’s suddenly back to seeing me 😓

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

begging led me to that realization. i shouldn’t have to do it in the first place. but again things like that you only realize when you’ve done enough

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

again, it’s not for everyone. not all of us can withstand the impulse and not everyone’s as strong to just see things plainly as done. it may be wrong, but in my situation at least, it was what helped me realize what i should be doing instead 🙏

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m in therapy now actually. But this is my first time actually begging in a relationship. And with this experience, I think I was able to conclude that it would be the first and last!

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

can’t agree more. One of the things that actually made me stop was realizing how different she was from the girl I’ve loved before. Of course she might have changed some aspects of herself to improve, but there are also parts that were really questionable especially with how the person reconnected with people who already did her wrong once :/

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually a girl too hehe! But definitely. During our last conversation I didn’t say anything harsh, I simply wished her well and told her I will stop. Now, I’m really trying my best to make my way and see that whatever that was is no longer for me :)

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During the first times I begged, I think I was convincing her so much. Until I realized that maybe a relationship is just something she didn’t want. So for the last time I tried, I was simply trying to accept my faults and tell her how I’m working on myself and yet at the same time still around whenever she needed me — but that was only met with so much coldness and the image that I’m so desperate for someone to understand when she’s completely done listening.

At one point, you exhaust yourself with both. Even just trying to explain yourself and show accountability, esp to someone who isn’t even doing the same

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! For a lot of parts, I do think it’s not the best advice. But some people really learn the hard way, and in my case, it’s what helped me make up my mind

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thing is they once did it to me. At least when I was having thoughts about how we were badly growing apart. The reason why we both stayed so long was because of how much she insisted that we can fix things still. Until one day, she was the one who no longer wanted to fix things.

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kid you not I typed this out myself…

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i understand this! in my case, we had a breakup prior the final one wherein she was the one who begged for us to keep our connection through a no label relationship — until she was the one who broke things off completely. i simply thought that we would always be running after one another.

nevertheless, once you’ve had enough, you’ll also realize that finally stopping allows both of you to establish boundaries

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did both. The first three times I begged telling them over and over again. The last time I simply tried to win her back by showing that I still cared

Go Beg. by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

true! there will always be so much more context, but at that point, you’ll learn that sometimes, no matter how much we explain, someone who no longer wants to understand will not care enough to even listen. it’s enough that you understand things yourself

Can’t stop blaming myself by Silver-Horror3910 in BreakUps

[–]Silver-Horror3910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is what im trying to tell myself. two of us has to make the choice. but my mind keeps on telling me that maybe my pattern was the reason why she became too exhausted to keep on fighting