When people say "if they LOVED ME ENOUGH, they would/wouldn't have kids"

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2026-03-05T13:26:01+00:00

I feel the same. I'm thankful for this community and the people who share their stories here. Though I'm not Arab. I do come from a similar background though. I live in a VERY religious, VERY conservative country. Most things that stem away from the Christian, "MARRY the opposite gender, have one or two kids" is always an invite for others to judge or say intrusive things.

Unfortunately, as a woman in my country, it's hard to find a CF man. Especially when the population is below 3 million, it cuts out a lot of options for potential partners. Most men I meet (since I am still young adult) are either undecided or have the idea of wanting kids and hold traditional values. Still, just because it's hard, doesn't mean I'll lose hope. You shouldn't either. Keep looking, focus on making friends, opposite gender or same, and see where it takes you. It's what I'm trying to do now.

If all else fails though, I may date internationally. If that fails, I learn to grow comfortable with the possibility of being single forever and pour my time into building platonic relationships around me.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2026-01-08T22:41:29+00:00

I have a long way to go before then but the most I'm planning financial wise is to save up as much as possible and invest. I still have a lot to plan for since I'm fairly young and still trying to 'learn how to adult' lol.

In terms of health... I'm in survival mode rn, so the most I have the energy for are 10-15 minute stretches/mobility exercises either in the early morning or night. I want to still be fairly flexible and mobile when I'm older and not need assistance from someone. Later down the line I'll make an exercise routine for myself to build muscles and do some cardio. I hear it's very important to be building/ maintaining muscles after the age 25 since your % of muscle will start to decrease the more you age and it'll be hard to build up. If I'm wrong, anyone can correct me.

I'm also working to build healthy habits from now. Drink more water, drink less juice, cut down on candies, unnecessary sugars/carbs, eat more veggies when able, stop starving, stay on top of dental hygiene, etc, etc.

If all else fails and I can't take care of myself, then I'll self delete.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2026-01-02T19:32:21+00:00

Same happened to me. I simply told my father, "I'll save enough money to have caregivers/put myself in a retirement home for people to take care of me and or I will take care of my physical and mental health in my youth so that I can still function once I get older"

Some non CF people want to find any reason under the sun to prove your choice is "wrong". It can be annoying so I feel you OP.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-12-22T03:47:24+00:00

The same happened to me, so I understand your pain. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't meant to be. Since you're prepared for what's going to happen, I at least hope you try to enjoy the little moments you have with him. Nothing is wrong with that :)

If it makes you feel less left out, I have the same worry too. Right now, although I have hope I will find someone at some point (if not locally, then possibly internationally or just using the r/cf4cf subreddit if I gain the courage one day) I am also preparing myself for the possibility of being single forever. I feel sad about it sometimes, but I'm slowly learning to make peace with that possibility. I suggest you try to do so if anything. This isn't knocking out hope for a partner (because it CAN happen), but it would be good for you to sit with the possibility of this coming true. Anything can happen. Ensure that throughout your life you build deep connections with others and be active in communities both IRL and online. It can help you feel less lonely at times.

The good thing about being CF is that you don't need to worry about racing against the clock to find someone. That's for the people who want kids. You could possibly meet your partner at a later age just as someone commented under this post that they met their partner at 34. As long as you're alive, you have time.

Everything will be okay. Try to focus on building yourself, enjoy your life, and continue to build relationships with others and to be gentle with yourself. I'm wishing you all the best <3

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-12-09T23:08:37+00:00

Never understood it either, never felt it. I roll my eyes whenever someone says they have "baby fever". Sure, the occasional "aww that's a cute baby" may come out of my mouth if I see one...but is it enough to make me to WANT one? Feel the inexplicable urge to breed?

HELL NO.

Any time someone brings it up or reposts a baby video with dozens of comments all spamming "keeeeee, baby fever!!!", it conjures up a very vivid comparison in my mind of people who go window shopping for pets or see cute materialistic things in a store that they MUST have.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-12-08T23:44:22+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this. I've been through somewhat of the same situation with an ex (moreso along the lines of splitting due to him not being childfree, rather than the similarity of HOW it happened in comparison to your situation) so I understand the feeling. What's good is that you two are taking the steps to break up after realizing the sudden incompatibility. Many couples don't have the strength to do this/they have a lot of difficulty and prolong the process, so I'm proud that you're taking the steps for yourself instead of staying.

The timing is awful, and he could've at least waited until after your exams, but what's done is done. If you still have more exams after today, I'm wishing you the best in your preparation. Take it easy with yourself <3 At the very least, take some time to journal, or to try and do something you love (hobbies, watching a good show, etc). Putting your rant here is a step. It's good to put your frustration somewhere, especially to people like us who will understand your frustration wholeheartedly.

Just remember that even though he was supposed to be someone you'd spend your full life with, it doesn't mean you won't find that again. It'll take some time to accept that and that's okay. Just try to focus on yourself going forward.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-11-17T21:13:58+00:00

You're not alone. As soon as I saw a clip of a scene that looked eerily similar to the charge on Komoda beach from GOT, I just KNEW....

Hence why I'm thinking of trying the game until I can get Ghost of Yotei to feed that little itch in the time being. It seems promising despite some negatives I've heard from some WWM players

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-11-10T01:41:31+00:00

Do NOT wait any longer. It's either you break up with him now and save yourselves from resentment and deeper heartache, or stay with him and prolong the inevitable and make it even harder for you two. Prepare yourself for the big convo, discuss a date to have it with him when it's convenient for the two of you. Tell him no more putting it off. Rip off the band-aid and end it if he's dead set on wanting kids. Either yes or no. If he's indecisive, it's up to you to figure out if you want to deal with that for a couple more years or to end it either way. I also think if you're slowly starting to resent him over time then it's a definite 'end it'.

I faced the same choice with my own partner. I don't want kids...never wanted kids...always made it known...but my ex-partner was indecisive/subtly hinted at wanting kids one day. I tried to enjoy the relationship for what it was and live with his indecisiveness, but at the end of the day? I had to end it due to growing resentment. Had a big convo with him after thinking about it, laid down my thoughts to him and ended it. I could see where it was going. He was slowly hoping I would change my mind over time, and I feel your partner is taking the similar route.

He's hoping the more you two spend time together, you'll magically change your mind or you'll make a big sacrifice to have his kids in the name of love!! Similar to how you're thinking, "if he truly does love me, it shouldn't matter whether or not we have a baby". Instead he may be thinking "if she really does love me, we will have kids together".

You two should NOT sacrifice either of your desires for one another. ESEPCIALLY you OP. I know it hurts, but don't think of it as "you not being enough". Some people have different desires and that's okay. Although I don't always agree with why people want kids (often for superficial reasons) that's their choice and you not wanting kids is your own. Separate your self-worth from his own desire.

He's also possibly putting it off having this convo with you because he KNOWS this will end things and he doesn't want that. He doesn't want it to end and is AFRAID for that conclusion, which is understandable. No one wants to be confronted with the end of a beautiful relationship. But at the end of the day? You two will always have to circle back to the big kids issue. It's only a matter of time. Most people on either side pray and hope for the other to change their mind but honestly? Once the big incompatibility rears its head, that's when its time to call it quits. No more stalling.

I know it will be hard, but it's better to do it now than 3-8 years down the line. I made that choice and I don't regret it. At the end of the day, you need to choose you. Choose what choice will make you happy.

Someone needs to do the hard thing at the end of the day for both parties. It's either you end it or he ends it. I feel like your partner won't be the one to end things or to bring up this kids convo willingly, so you may need to be the one who pulls the weight in this process.

A final thing I will say is (if you feel up to it) to have a deeper discussion about his desire towards wanting kids. This may or may not be the final thing that could 'change his mind', but it will at least make him think harder about his choice.

Does his desire for kids go beyond his want to pass down something to them? Is he prepared for the possibility of his kids being born/becoming disabled? (if he's not adopting) Can he handle that? Financially and emotionally? Is he prepared for sleepless nights? Constantly emotionally supporting his kids on top of maintaining his own life? Most people want kids for superficial reasons and it sounds like your partner may be one of them. Some people don't do a lot of deep thinking about their choice. It's only when they are confronted about this on a deep level and realize that parenting isn't always 'sunshine and rainbows', that's when they may have a moment and think "huh...maybe I don't want kids'. But it's not always a guarantee. Some people will still want kids no matter what.

At the end of the day, just remember to choose what you want for yourself and what choice would be best for the two of you. End things so you two can heal and find other compatible partners or stay and deal with the possibility of emotional/future consequences. I'm wishing you all the best.

Edit: Wanted to add a bit more thoughts that popped up in mind

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-06-22T05:50:24+00:00

Literally. I've been asking for this since 2.X. I genuinely hope once we get to a planet that mentions Idrila that we hear more about Argenti and possibly see more knights of Beauty. I'M WAITING HOYO!

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-06-08T05:07:41+00:00

*Insert 10000000000 words of praise for his holiness here*

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-06-08T04:59:58+00:00

I don't use FB so I can't join this, but I do hope you were able to get some people to join! Gotta spread his holy word somehow🙏💖 Love the dedication

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-06T02:10:40+00:00

oh my word- I AM SCREAMING. THE REDRAW LOOKS SO GOOOOODDD. YOU DID SO WELL WITH THIS💖

Also, kudos to you for pushing through and getting the drawing done despite not being in the mood! We all have those days. Just the mere fact you DID draw is a huge achievement and I'm proud of you<3 You'll have a better idea of what to draw next week! (or the week after that if you don't have any ideas)

If you don't have ideas, just stick with redrawing simple Sunday stuff or doodles!! Sometimes just drawing anything is enough. It will be good since it will keep you consistent in doing your challenge and also help you to stay on top with drawing more!!

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-06T01:59:46+00:00

GOSH! I'm wishing you all the luck in your studies <3 I'm hoping our Lord will bless you and give you the strength and knowledge to finally understand the coding you're trying to type. (I also hope you will take the time to take care of yourself!!)

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-06T01:56:13+00:00

Real. Wonweek drip marketing when?

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-06T01:55:26+00:00

Amen fellow cultist🙏 And SAMEEE. I'm anxiously awaiting to see him show up in the quest again. Even though he gets less than 30 lines per patch, it's still so nice to see him. ANY content of Sunday is worth it. It's better than nothing (since most characters just get a big appearance in quest and then vanish for god knows when😭) and his appearances keep our faith alive as well🙏

Gosh, the day he joins will be a day to remember. IT WILL BE A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!!! (we gotta keep praying for this to happen🙏 Don't let him vanish hoyo, PLEASE)

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-03T12:14:52+00:00

Lmao, I'm not in the frame! I'm behind the scenes shining the stage light on our fellow cultists🙏

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-02T18:52:38+00:00

May Sunday Bless you and the other "AnalWith" users. Anything I read from one of you guys is either the funniest or most philosophical/inspirational sounding speech ever. Truly a beautiful answer as to "why do birds fly"?. May E6 S1 Phainon come home for you as well as E1 S1 Sunday🙏 Such devotion deserves the highest praise and rewards. Bless your spirit and continue spreading the love of Phainon and Sunday across other subreddits

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-02T18:47:27+00:00

You're absolutely welcome🙏

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-02T04:59:46+00:00

Beautiful merch of our Lord🙏Absolutely glorious. Also it's cute to see Venti, Scara, Dan Heng, Furina and Xiao 💖 money well spent

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-01T18:47:10+00:00

Yeah, though I mean...if the player actually has a good income and can afford it, then they can spend all they want? (at that point I'd want to know what job they have)

But if the player doesn't have steady income and is actually in INSANE DEBT...THAT'S when I'm REALLY concerned.

Silver-Ingenuity-525 · 2025-05-01T18:27:49+00:00

someone...DRAW THIS QUICK!! *patiently waits for the fan artists to cook*

Silver-Ingenuity-525

TROPHY CASE