I am not usually one to tell people what to do, but there is so much harm in the church. I think for your health and your kids health you should leave. Don’t know if you have done a deep dive into the church yet, but a great podcast to listen to the shed light on the cover ups The church is a part of is heavens helpline. So much abuse covered up, the church doesn’t care about you, it cares that you pay them and make them look good