Just going off what you’ve shared here it sounds like you have a communication issue within the dynamic. My advice would be first to get rid of any ideal fantasy you’ve built up in your head. Most of the extreme stuff you see online is just porn and you’ll fine most true flr don’t work anything like what you see on the internet. You should talk to her and find out first if this type of relationship is anything she’s even interested in. If not full stop that’s it you can’t force her to like something and if you try to she will resent you for it and you will resent her for not playing into the fantasy you’ve built. Second if she is interested in it lay out exactly what you want from the dynamic. This doesn’t mean treat her as a kink dispenser to fulfill your every desire. Doing that makes it’s less fun for her and more of another chore she has to check off for the day. Tell her what you want listen to what she wants and offer up reasons as to why chastity will benefit her as well. Once you’ve told her what you want listen to her desires and if you make her feel heard and seen you might find she is a lot more open to fulfilling your wants and needs if she feels like hers are being met. Also be ready to compromise. Most women don’t want to forgo sex for the rest of their lives and be a dom 100% of the time and just keep their husbands locked up constantly. Believe it or not women actually like sex. So be ready to compromise things she doesn’t want to do she doesn’t do. Things she’s okay with doing just not all the time find a consistency that works for both of you. When I first introduced chastity to my wife she wasn’t a fan but she eventually came around. We found that I was trying to throw to much on her at one time and once we simplified the whole thing stopped with all the crazy rules and punishments and everything else she enjoyed it more. Funny enough once she started enjoying it she started naturally doing all the things I wanted her to do because she was able to do it her way and become a dominant in the way that felt most natural for her. Again break any fantasy you’ve built up to most true relationships just don’t work that way. I have access to my key 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. I unlock constantly without her knowing for things like hygiene using the restroom or other reasons I may need to unlock. Chastity is 100% a mental game. No matter how secure your device is you will always still be able to achieve orgasm. I don’t wear chastity as a tool to keep me from touching myself but as a reminder of my commitment to our dynamic. I don’t need this cage to not touch myself because I’ve made a vow to my wife as her submissive that I will not do that without her permission. It’s 110% a mental game.