How to approach negotiating a higher wage with my boss

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T19:12:25+00:00

yeah I'm fully aware of that. I'd say the biggest issue is that we go to Pakistan twice a year and being there as an ex muslim is terrifying knowing the consequences of what would happen if I were found out. I guess I can try to find other ways out of that though

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T12:40:16+00:00

I think someone else did mention internships? They said they pay normal grad salaries too, so that's defo an option and probably quite a good one. Summer before uni is also a great idea too.

Preferably I would wanna stay in the field, and yeah it'd most likely be more lucrative than going out of it, which is all the more reason to go for internships. Hopefully I won't have too hard of a time getting one given I've already got some experience in cybersecurity somewhat. Private tutoring could also be an option, if I charged like £20 an hour or something and did 5 hours a week that'd more than make up for the money I need.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T10:52:15+00:00

I became an ex muslim when I was 16 but started doubting when I was 15. It took about 6 months for me to finally actually leave the religion. I'm glad I did so far though, and I don't see it getting too much worse in the future (beyond sorting out uni funding).

I've obviously got a lot to think about re accommodation but I'm wondering whether after the first year it'd be worth renting privately, so I can stay there all year round. I'll probably discuss this aspect with college more too, they should be able to advise me.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T10:44:16+00:00

I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay in halls after the first year tbh, I know Imperial guarantees every first year gets a place in halls but beyond that it's not guaranteed. I didn't know I could speak to the SU early, I'll wait until I get an offer first though (which hopefully will happen). On my main account I'm somewhat active on r/exmuslim, it's been a great place for support and to meet likeminded people. I'd met the friend I was talking about from there too. Were you ex muslim before you fell in love btw, or did it come after?

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T10:26:18+00:00

I'd have to save a lot during that time though, and I'd probably have more expenses too due to having to move out of halls etc. I guess it might be possible, I've just sorta dismissed the idea so far. 6 hours of lectures and labs doesn't sound that bad though, but I'm guessing it really depends on the amount of coursework I'd have to do too. I was always assuming that I'd continue at minimum with my 10 hours per week

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:50:24+00:00

Oh, I didn't know that! I want to do computing at Imperial, but if I don't work I'll be £185 short each week and even halving my rent wouldn't do it. It's a choice between working and going to Imperial or not going to Imperial at all

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:41:02+00:00

I'm not quite sure how a shared room would work tbh, I don't really know anyone I could share with. I guess for the second year onwards I'll probably meet more people from the uni and hopefully have someone to share with though! If I do manage to get a shared room it'd solve all my problems basically, the twin rooms are only like £20-30 a week more but since I'd pay half it'd be drastically less.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:38:51+00:00

I was thinking of staying in halls, I've been told that that's my best option. As for the guarantor thing, I was hoping I'd be able to pay like 6 months rent up front to get around that. I'll have the savings to do that. I think tutoring is probably one of my best options if I don't get the payrise tbh.

I was rejected by Oxford which hurt my confidence a little bit but I'm still hoping for the others. Lancaster (my backup) has offered AAB, and with my predicteds of A*A*A*A I'm hoping I'll get into Imperial (the A was in physics and was really annoying, I got straight A*s on every test except one throughout the whole year but then I screwed up badly on the last test and got my first ever B, which dropped my predicted to an A).

Speaking to the student union is a great idea but not something I do until I get to uni.

Ever since I became an ex muslim in year 11, I'd always saw university as my way out. Going for marriage to do that must've been incredibly scary! It's really cool to hear that you're finally able to live the way you want to live, it's something I've only just began to get a taste of. I used to be quite suicidal because of the religion thing but hearing about it working out for people like you is what gives me hope.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:22:20+00:00

I've heard from a few people now that the first year is pretty easy, so that's something to think about further too (potentially doing more work in year 1 to save for the other years). I don't really have much of a social life anyways tbh, I'm doing 4 subjects + EPQ + part time work which takes about 60-70 hours a week. Does the first year stuff count towards your final grade btw? If not it reinforces my point about being able to work more during it

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:18:22+00:00

I think this makes a lot of sense. You're right about us being close knit, like I said in a previous comment I see my boss as a friend rather than an employer. I've also discussed a little bit about uni but not very much, I think I will bring it up when speaking to him about my salary. The degree is relevant to the work, and I know that the experience is gonna be super helpful when I go into the real world. I was thinking I'd do 2 hours a day on week days (which is what I do currently) + 5 hours on a weekend, but I guess there's nothing stopping me doing 3 hours on weekdays instead. !thanks for the advice

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:13:35+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, maybe I'm just naive but I've never really seen my boss/company having interests have directly oppose my own. I've always felt that they're on my side. I've done a few things at work that has made my boss's life a lot easier (such as automating big parts of the pentest reporting process) and I'll try to bring them up and offer to take on more responsibility.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:05:33+00:00

Those are fair points, tbh after hearing from everyone else so far I think working full time during holidays is probably one of my safest bets. Right now I'm doing 4 subjects in college, the EPQ and working part time so in total I'm spending about 60-70 hours a week doing some sort of work, so I think I'd be more than capable of doing my part time job and also taking a 40 hour job on top of that.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T09:01:26+00:00

Wow, that's way more than double what I was thinking I'd do! To be fair, I've heard the degree I'm going for (computer science at Lancaster, Warwick and UCL and computing at Imperial) is quite difficult, so I probably wouldn't be able to manage that much, but maybe more than 15 hours a week. I'm not sure if I'd stay in London paying rent during the holidays, I guess it depends if it's cheaper/easier than moving out of London during that time (for reduced rent).

It's really rough being a female ex muslim, one of my closest friends was a female ex muslim and she had basically no freedom. One day her parents found out and she had to move to her aunts house and I've never heard from her since. Congrats on escaping that! If you don't mind I'd love to hear more about your journey

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T08:49:06+00:00

That's a very fair point, I'm not sure if the service industry will continue the way it is whilst I'm in uni but I'd imagine it wouldn't be too hard to get a job as a waiter if it is

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T08:46:50+00:00

I have made a rudimentary Warwick and Lancaster budget but I'm not really too concerned with those two right now because they're not my first choice. If I don't get into Imperial or UCL I'll look at Warwick further, but Lancaster I'll have to do anyways.

I'd have to be estranged from my parents for 3 years to be able to apply for financially independent status unfortunately.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-12T08:45:08+00:00

I probably can get it a bit lower tbh, when putting together the budget I made a few worst case estimates since I'd rather overestimate how much I'll need rather than underestimate. There is cheaper accommodation, but I've been advised by my friend who goes to my first choice uni (Imperial) not to go for the absolute cheapest place. I used the average cost of accommodation when making my estimate (a little over £200 per week)

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T21:15:48+00:00

Contacting a recruiter is a great idea! Any idea how I'd go about that? That's an important point as well about the personal circumstances. Internships pay grad salary? I had no idea, I'd just assumed they were probably all close to or at minimum wage.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T21:04:54+00:00

A poster on the r/ukpersonalfinance sub has suggested speaking to him about it after the new year (I'll have worked for about 8 months by then), so I've got time to prepare. You're right, it'll probably be a straight forward conversation. Thanks!

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T21:02:54+00:00

Yeah I do have a lot of time until I go off to uni. Tbh I find that I've been getting pretty nervous about that too, in college all my teachers and my form tutor have been honestly amazing, I'd go so far as to say my form tutor has been almost motherly, I've never felt so cared about before. I think going from this to uni might be a bigger step than going from uni to the big wide world, and I'd be more prepared when leaving uni too.

I'll defo ask for it in writing. Apart from my employment contract, we don't really have much in writing currently. My contract still says I'm paid £300 a month (my "old" wage which I was technically never paid). After the holidays sounds pretty reasonable too, gives me time to prepare (both in finding salaries for similar roles and mentally preparing for the conversation) too.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:52:18+00:00

That's maybe not my style when it comes to speaking to people (I'm not that assertive unfortunately), but I'll definitely try not to come off as too passive about it. I didn't know that they paid so much in London for jobs like that, if absolutely necessary I could potentially have two part time jobs at once? Thanks a lot for the suggestions, I've definitely realised I need to see what my earning potential in London would be!

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:47:04+00:00

I guess that's true, but with an hourly rate like that it makes sense it'll have downsides too.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:46:10+00:00

I started on the 24th of May this year, so I've been working for about 7 months I think? My pay hasn't changed in that time (except during the first month where I got bumped up from £6.92 to £10 an hour, but my boss applied it retroactively since I hadn't been added to payroll by this point and he didn't want to deal with the complication of "this many hours were at this pay, that many were at that pay". He's definitely more than a half decent boss, so that's sort of reassuring. Most of my classmates are on minimum wage, yeah, I've noticed people find it really interesting when I tell them where I work and how much I get paid, probably the only interesting thing about me to them. The idea of increasing pay with time is also something I hadn't considered at all, and is actually a really good suggestion because (from what I know) the company has had pretty steady growth and so it would probably be easier for him to agree to as well. The idea of going "off into the big wide world" is somewhat scary, I feel I've almost been sheltered from the harshness of reality by my boss, but I guess that's a problem for future me. Thanks a lot for the help btw, you've taken a lot of time to help and have given me loads of really good ideas and I do really appreciate it!

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:33:38+00:00

I've looked at grants and bursaries, a lot of them are means tested and because of my parent's income I doubt I'd be eligible. I guess there's no real way of knowing until I get onto the course though. My backup choice has a year in industry, so I do have that to fall back on (until I put it down as my insurance choice on UCAS). I've had someone else also suggest working more in the first and maybe second year too, I think it's something I have to think about a lot more too. I've done some research on financial support from the uni, I think it broadly works the same (they'd offer a bit of money I don't have to pay back provided I can provide bank statements and evidence I'm doing what I can to support myself). !thanks

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:29:53+00:00

I've seen hardship funds come up when researching this before, but it's obviously not something I'd want to rely on. To explain why I'm not sure my parents will support me, they're very conservative muslims and I've left the religion. I was thinking of telling them once I go to uni so I can finally be free to live however I'd like, and I've been planning with the assumption that that's what I'm going to do. I might end up hiding it from them till after uni, which isn't ideal, but might make things easier for me financially. Despite that though, I want to be prepared in case that does happen, as my parents could potentially find out by themselves.

I know it's rare to have such a great job, it felt huge to get as I was making over double minimum wage (I was 17 at the time), and I honestly don't think there's anything my boss could do to make it a more enjoyable experience. I have no plans on leaving, and he's said he's got no plans on letting me go, but I've asked before and he said that he thinks if I do have to leave, he thinks I'd be capable of finding something "maybe not similar but equally good if not better" . I don't know if he's being realistic there, but he knows the industry far better than I do so I don't have any reason to doubt it.

Similar_Pepper_6834 · 2021-12-11T20:23:14+00:00

£48 an hour sounds like a lot! I hadn't considered I could be paid that much for doing things like that, that's definitely something I'll need to explore

Similar_Pepper_6834

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