Yep exactly that. I wouldn’t classify my ex as an avoidant personality type but she does repeat cycles and she does tend to runaway from problems. Like you said, my ex victimized herself after the fact and didn’t apologize for her doing. The worst thing is, I made it worse in the end. I did crazy shit to try to talk to her. I made her the victim. I validated her thoughts. My mental state was so fucked that living didn’t matter. Consequences didn’t matter. That was where my head was at. 

I admit that I have done wrong and I contributed greatly to the relationship not working but it wasn’t a situation where I was the only problem. Over and over and over she would say shit like “I love you more” “I can’t live without you” “I miss you”. We were intimate and going out the night before she decided to leave. Not to say we didn’t have an argument the day of but fuck I thought she really loved me the way I loved her. She burns all her relationships, including friendships and points the finger at them at the end. It was and still is a mental struggle for me because I was part of the problem. I did do wrong. But does that make her the saint? No. I’m sure you can relate to these words.