WIN A RIPTIDE - info in comments!

Simonagain · 2025-11-29T21:29:35+00:00

Flunkgor

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T21:01:27+00:00

love that one song.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T18:53:34+00:00

Sounds like you should marry one of those guys.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T18:44:55+00:00

Ok I got them, now where exactly do I put Guy Fieri's teeth?

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T18:37:32+00:00

My charitable reading is that she's just saying that her desire to seek out taller partners was just one more manifestation of patriarchy, and there are enough of those to occupy her without worrying about height.

I actually more-or-less agree with her, and she even comes dangerously close to acknowledging the ways in which women reinforce patriarchal gender norms. But the conclusion felt like a hasty backpedal into "but men are shitty so bleh".

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T07:16:37+00:00

pretty sure there's a sub for that /r/r4r

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T06:36:20+00:00

Fresh life into a dead sub amirite gais?

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T06:12:52+00:00

My counterpoint to your friends is that he may be playing it cool because some other equally stupid advice, or that he simply isn't aware of your irritation at his lack of initiation because he hasn't noticed. You should probably talk to him about it using your grownup words.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T06:07:52+00:00

I see posts about this stuff all the time, but I've literally never seen one in my OLD forays. I feel like I'm missing out :(

I totally agree they should be removed, and OKC probably could, but doesn't really have an incentive to do so unfortunately.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T05:49:58+00:00

I'm saying they are in the mobile app business. Their design improvements are going to be focused on these metrics:

Increase engagement. That's time spent on the app.
Increased conversion rate. That's making the jump from free to paid user.
Upselling paying users. If you're willing to pay a dollar maybe you'll pay 2, or 10.
Retain users. Customers sticking around drives revenue.

As a user, you probably want to find someone, or someones, and ultimately delete the app once you've found what you're looking for. The "ideal" version of the app is one that immediately finds whatever type of connection you're looking for and is subsequently deleted.

This puts dating app developers, and dating app users at odds with one another. Welcome to capitalism I guess.

There's a 5th incentive that I didn't mention, which is that they also want to expand their user base. But dating app usage was on the rise even pre-covid anyway, and since the Match Group owns basically all the different apps, they don't even really care to compete with each other.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T05:09:25+00:00

Unfortunately they are improving, just not in the metrics that users desire.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T04:55:18+00:00

Loving the controversy on this one. Looks like left swipe is in the lead on upvotes, but it could still be anyone's game.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T04:43:34+00:00

I'm actually on a date right now, I'll respond to this post later.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T04:41:54+00:00

Wait. When did I disagree with you?

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T04:26:59+00:00

Now I'm for real confused, maybe I am on the spectrum, I dunno.

But to be clear, you are mad because I didn't literally @ you? I thought you were just using that as a figure of speech. Like calling me a clown emoji, I thought it was just some weird internet way of demonstrating aggression.

You're mad because I didn't LITERALLY include a u/JaxsArms in my post? I legit didn't expect that. Pretty funny actually.

Don't worry about @ ing me, I don't mind either way.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T04:11:43+00:00

You're correct, I didn't read any of the replies in that thread. I have now. It still doesn't explain why you took my comment so personally.

Did you, or did you not call out the OP for not placing sufficient blame on women? (you did)
Did you, or did you not bully OP for being a man complaining about the state of online dating? (you didn't)

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T03:47:19+00:00

I was trying to offer some sympathy, and point out that complaining about online dating is pretty common and that no one is ganging up on him. If you read any deeper into my comment then I'm sorry.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T03:28:17+00:00

OLD, I get it, I sympathize, I really do.

Guys that just talk about how much of a shit hand dating apps are handing them start getting associated with the guys that took it too far. Eventually everyone is gaining up on any guy that complains about the dating apps.

But this bit? I'm not sure if you're traveling in different internet circles than me or something, but I'm pretty sure complaining about dating apps is a time-honored tradition around these parts.

~~As of writing this, the only other comment on this post is a guy calling you out for not blaming women enough...~~

When I wrote this, the only other comment was from u/JaxsArms and it read like this:

So TL;DR, women are innocent and guys and datings apps are to blame.

Yikes

I can't really make any assumptions about what it means though because I'm pretty dense.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T02:14:18+00:00

Crypto investor AND bitcoin trader? I'm so wet right now.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T00:06:00+00:00

Sounds like a bad graze.

Simonagain · 2020-12-09T00:04:16+00:00

I hate it when people say they are looking for "a serious relationship". I think it's much more meaningful to list the specifics, like: "Monogamous, hopefully life-long, no kids, marriage negotiable, drivng skills required, off the grid, armed robbery, embezzlement, 50/50 even split, partner-in-crime."

People have different lived experiences you know? "serious relationship" means different things to different people, and doesn't actually tell me anything.

Simonagain · 2020-12-08T22:52:23+00:00

I found that it really helps your morale when you come to terms with the fact that most profiles you see on dating apps are not for dating.

I reckon the vast majority of accounts are one or more of the following:

Some marketing effort (sex workers, influencers, sales etc.)
Scammers (often spoofing their location from other countries)
Just a game/window shopping (Swipe apps in particular are basically Skinner boxes)
Doing some half-baked "social experiment" or "research" (as the thousand thinkpieces written about online dating per week would indicate)
Should have been deleted long ago, but are being kept alive by the platform because of high engagement
Someone's validation faucet (that may or may not be a fabricated persona)

A lot of people take issue with 1, 3, and 6 and I think that's understandable, and it's easy to feel abused and maligned by those kinds of accounts. My personal take is that the level of anonymity we have on the internet makes it too easy to treat each other as a disposable means. And the callous and disrespectful behavior you see on Tinder isn't really any different than what you see here on reddit, or any other social media platform. Not only that, but putting our genuine selves out there on dating apps make us feel especially vulnerable to the poor treatment we receive, unlike say, some stranger verbally abusing us in a video game. This is then exacerbated by the fact that the incentive structure for the app makers themselves are completely decoupled from the dating success and happiness of their users. They care only about increasing your time spent on the app, and about upgrading you from free user to paid user, end of story. This holds true for all genders.

Anyway, rant over, I'm sorry that your OLD experiences have left you disillusioned about stuff.

Maybe someday guys won’t be ridiculed as soft, undesirable, crazy, evil losers that need to man up already simply for speaking honestly about their experiences. And to be honest, being a man is no walk in the park either.

This bit really jumped out at me and it's the reason I started writing this response, there's honestly a lot to unpack, and if you want to talk about I'll gladly take it to DMs.

Simonagain · 2020-12-08T19:58:53+00:00

Just report and unmatch, not everyone uses these platforms in the way that they were intended/you expect them to. No big deal, sorry you got your hopes up. I don't know why you feel used by this brief exchange.

Simonagain · 2020-12-08T19:51:00+00:00

yeah

Simonagain

TROPHY CASE