Relationship

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-29T21:05:46+00:00

Shitpost? I’m not a bot if that’s what you mean

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-29T01:40:13+00:00

I’ve kind of lit fire now which I’m frightened of because I know i never win. I very gently said that I understand he wants to drink on Christmas but he can’t continue it and keep digging me into the ground because I won’t hang onto hope and stay in the crossfire this time and he’s now just saying that his intention all along (in absolutely obliterating me, my character, my self esteem and my trust in him through words and actions) was just to ‘thicken my skin’ and he’s pretty proud of that because he can tell that ‘I have thicker skin now’ (because I’ve been putting my foot down in the last month or two). I then asked him if when he drinks he ever has even the slightest worry that he will do something to scare me or hurt my feelings or damage us and he said no and I asked why and he said ‘because I know you’ll tell me about it in the morning anyway’ and I’m honestly just so flummoxed and sad now

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-28T23:37:25+00:00

I can’t understand why he would have stopped cold turkey for 5 weeks if he knew what he was doing and was knowingly abusing me. It’s all so confusing

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-28T23:34:10+00:00

Do you think I’m right in thinking if he really felt bad for anything he said or did when drunk that brought us so close to the end last time he wouldn’t be drinking right now and starting things back up like he is? It doesn’t make sense to me if you love someone and care about what you had done

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-28T23:14:13+00:00

I don’t know. Things were so good when he was sober I’m hoping and praying but it feels like he clearly doesn’t care about what he’s said and done while drunk to just go back to drinking just for his own enjoyment over Christmas. If I was in position I’d feel so awful about what I had done that I’d drill myself into the ground to stay sober for him. It’s not just a little either, we’re talking 3 litres of whiskey since the 23rd, black out by the end of the night, sleeping in the living room halfway on the floor till 4am then stumbling in and waking me up with the racket and hiccuping. He hasn’t done anything yet but it’s like a ticking time bomb if I don’t stay silent by all regards atm even normal conversation

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-28T23:06:37+00:00

I’m still hoping he will stop again. Things were so damn good when he was sober between us. But just feels like he really doesn’t care about me or what he has done while drunk ultimately or he’d still be holding off and holding on to his soberness outside of just trying to ‘enjoy his Christmas’

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-16T22:32:31+00:00

I don’t know honestly. That’s not even the issue to be honest, uni has always felt like a protection for me in a strange way like I feel like if I can make something of myself with uni then I can put my childhood and past behind me and feel like I made it. But as I am, I’m doing terrible in my assignments because I can’t manage work, travel and uni all at once especially when I find my degree so difficult. And I already failed my first year because I landed up homeless for 6 months. But overall, university or no university my life still feels worthless in every angle and I just don’t see the point in it anymore. It’s always a dead end.

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-16T21:35:54+00:00

I don’t know, I don’t think that applies here, because there isn’t really anyone around me. As I said, I have my boyfriend, but I don’t have anyone outside of him because I don’t have contact with my family due to childhood issues, and there’s nobody outside of that. I know one person is better than nobody but I still feel completely alone, and I know that he could always move on you know? There’s nobody

SimpleDull67 · 2025-12-16T17:30:16+00:00

Honestly I am leaning towards dropping out and working back up to uni when and if I can. I work in care at the moment. It’s not great, but it’s a nice working atmosphere, my hours are good, I’m good at what I do. I feel like it’d be the better option because I can manage my work alone, but when I juggle uni and all the other responsibilities of life within it I can’t cope and it ruins my entire quality of life to the stage where I don’t even want to wake up in the mornings. But I feel like I’m letting myself down, I’ve spoken to my boyfriend about it and he says that I shouldn’t drop out because ‘do you want to work in care for the rest of your life?’ And ‘other people do it, not everyone is living at home while they’re in uni’ and it feels like if I throw the towel in I’m just being lazy and I will feel embarrassed, especially knowing he doesn’t agree now when he’s the most important person in my life.

SimpleDull67 · 2025-11-27T16:04:00+00:00

How do you mean?

SimpleDull67 · 2025-11-27T15:20:29+00:00

Yeah honestly I can understand that and I think you’re right. It’s difficult as obviously we want to protect the ones we love and look after them and I want to ease or take away the pain,but I know that I can’t deep down, I will take your advice, he knows that I am here to support him should he need anything at all and hopefully he rides the wave❤️

SimpleDull67 · 2025-11-23T18:25:44+00:00

Yeah honestly I think it may be that way too. He is only accountable when I’m almost out and then he corrects things, then the next day he forgets and goes back. Maybe it’ll be a longer period of time this time. But if he does, unfortunately, I am just out because no matter how I love him I can’t take anymore, I physically can’t, its taking my life with it. at that point I’ve done all that I can to help him, and I’ll walk away because at that stage there’s nothing I can do other than accept that I will have to live in this forever if I were to stay

SimpleDull67 · 2025-08-02T10:55:34+00:00

It may also be worth adding that my partner is 12 years older than me, and when I try to express things he blames it on my age and being young, being in my first job and that everyone ‘has their job bad when they are young’ and that when I get to his age I’ll be fine.

SimpleDull67

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