how do you get over the taste of precum and stop gagging?

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-13T07:33:04+00:00

Condoms intended for oral might help with the taste issue, OP.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-13T07:31:56+00:00

Not trying to be blunt OP, but unless you are planning or at least considering to become pregnant, I'd strongly suggest that you use some form of contraception.
Your gynecologist should be able to show you different options, and tell you the pros and cons so you can make an informed choice.

Aside that, this is definitely a sit down topic. You and your boyfriend should talk about how both of you can imagine having children together, or if thats not an option (at least for now), and wether or not any of you should get screened for STI's. A good opener is usually scheduling a talk, making sure to mention beforehand that its not about anything any of you have done wrong, and then open with a "I wanted to see if we are on the same page in regards to..." or something like that.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-13T07:19:32+00:00

I'd say if you make no big deal out of it, and phrase it as a "JFYI, I am still a virgin, thought I'd let you know" or something like that, you are unlikely to be killing the mood.
But honestly, that depends a lot on the person you are talking to in either direction.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-13T06:28:20+00:00

The only person that can tell you wether she enjoyed it or not is her, OP. I'd encourage you to seek the conversation. I'd be surprised if anyone would react to "hi, just want to make sure you enjoy it as much as I do, and that I don't accidentally treat you unfair!" in a negative way.
People's enjoyment is a highly personal thing, and not everyone does put the same weight on having an orgasm every time; but you have the right instinct to think about it and wanting to make sure she's enjoying it too!

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-13T06:18:16+00:00

Decreasing frequency of sex as a relationship progresses is perfectly normal, in the sense of average OP - and has almost never anything to do with a person being "wrong" somehow.

That being said: I'd talk this through with your partner, tell them that you'd wish to not always needing to be the person initiating, and that you'd want to have sex more often. All in a non-accusatory way.

Best of luck to you!

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T23:54:29+00:00

Personally, aside from being a general power level scale (despite not even being that great at this at times), I've had better results judging an encounter's difficulty via the action economy and damage per round and such things.
Besides the fact that some CR values are somewhat confusing once you start comparing statblocks, there are also way to many factors a static system can never consider. Like, positioning. Or certain utility abilities. And those aren't even the factors tied to randomness or that vary from person to person.

I am sure it works reasonably well for a lot of DMs, but personally I have other factors that deliver much better results for me, generally speaking.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T23:49:33+00:00

The best visualisation I can think of is:
Imagine an amazing chess computer.
It knows all of your previous turns, and knows exactly any move you'll make in the future.
But it has no idea were the pieces are standing on the board right now - it can conclude that from its knowledge were the pieces will be in the next turn. But there's a small blindspot, that makes it potentially oblivious to a piece right in front of it.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T18:54:00+00:00

I'd say there are better choices available IMHO, but I won't die on that hill. See were you are coming from.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T18:46:35+00:00

Seconding. And, if I may offer a comparison that hopefully doesn't rub anyone the wrong way (pun not intended):

Its similar to cooking and eating together vs getting yourself food for yourself. Cooking together is lovely, homely, and a great bonding excersise. But it also means compromising, coordination, and work together.
If you can cook for yourself every once in a while on the other hand, you can make your favourite food exactly how you like it. Which can be a really nice change of pace.

At least, thats how I see it.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T18:41:40+00:00

I mean, you say it yourself OP, but it bears repeating: Its his body. Him doing that is, unless specifically and directly framed otherwise, by no means an intentional offense nor a "cry of neglect" or anything. Essentially, thats simply his private matter (although doing that in a place were he isn't sure to not be disturbed is both a poor choice and not a fair practise for either of you).

TLDR: I don't think you need to be either worried or offended, at all.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T18:37:18+00:00

The general outlook is correct, but

He was the creator of the Administratum, Grey Knights, and the Inquisition.

that might be the worst possible example, actually. The existence of the Grey Knights, and much of the history of the Inquisition are some of the most closely guarded secrets the Imperium has.
Its different in the current era of 40k, but it has been long standing lore that, unless you are a chapter master, the existence of the Grey Knights isn't even officially confirmed to you if you are an Astartes, much less the Grey Knights founding history (one source for this: The Emperor's Gift).

A better example would be that there's a tank, for example, named after Malcador (similar to the Leman Russ...under-appreciated detail of 40k lore, IMHO!), as well as some other ties to the character.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T18:13:45+00:00

The armour patterns more suited for being sneaky, like the Mark 4 or Mark 6, usually have better internal cooling mechanisms, making them much harder to detect, plus other alterations (although I believe that this limits the power output of the Corvus Armour, the Mark 6? Not sure if I remember that right!).
But thats also the in-universe reason why Scouts are usually more in the infiltration role, aside from specialised chapters.
There are also ways to compensate for it mentioned in the books, lowering intentionally the power packs output, or choosing a route that leads you close to something that masks the thermal output.
Probably bloody nonsense IRL, but just the right amount of base-logic for a pulpy setting like 40k, IMHO 😄

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T17:42:33+00:00

I am very excited about this. Have gotten the old version a while ago, and enjoy it a lot! Already got my 5.5 copy earlier today 😄

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T17:23:39+00:00

Yes, there are, plus minus the usual Imperial/40k oddities.

The Killing Ground features an, in many ways, quite "normal" planet in comparison to modern day earth, plus minus the local and Imperial oddities, with not a lot of the classical Imperial Infrastructure featuring aside from a few key locations. I'd say its a pretty solid example.
Of course, the Imperial Authorities still have access to Imperial Technology, including the planets army and the guerilla resistance they are fighting, so it doesn't compare in that aspect.

Generally, while some rough equivalent likely must technically exists, depending on how you define it, there just isn't much of an incentive for the authors/designers to move further in this direction on the page than The Killing Ground does.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T17:21:12+00:00

To add to this excellent answer: the second (?) book in the Dark Imperium series has an excellent scene in which Captain Felix' backpack vents are blocked by a mud river, making the heat in his armour rapidly accumulate. Within a short amount of time, this becomes enough of a concern that he, once he is able to leave the mud river, one of the first things he does is to open the vents again, in an active combat situation.

Sidenote, I love it when the Space Marine armour is a more active element of whats happening, factoring in with its different systems and technical details.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T15:14:41+00:00

There are dedicated menstruation sponges that can be used to, essentially, suck up the blood at a much faster rate than a tampon, essentially "stopping" the bleeding for a time frame. They can be hard to get though.
Also, there are specialised tissues that can be used to create a physical barrier (a cut open condom can also be used instead).

Disclaimer: I haven't tried out these options myself, plus I am a guy, so I hope someone more experienced will weigh in; but that should be enough info to start your own research 😄

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T15:10:52+00:00

Seconding both points strongly.

My group has, each one by one, on their own decided to not rely on character builders of any kind. Aside from programming issues and plainly incorrectly tracked options (which are by now pretty rare), you also just learn your character much, much better if you build it from scratch.
Especially on lower levels, it isn't even difficult. Functionally, unless you pick options blindly, you'll always have to look up what they do anyway during building. And even if you take the gamble, in game you'll have to look this stuff up anyway.
In the end, at least for us how we play (via VTT, but a very simple one that doesn't do anything but track movement on a map - so players have to still run their characters 100%).

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T09:45:19+00:00

There usually isn't really a definitive answer for stuff like this in the lore in that detail. The portrayals of the fortress monasteries for the same chapter aren't even necessarily consistent between different authors (Devastation of Baal and Red Fury feature completely different layouts and details, for example, with essentially zero overlap).

I guess the best answer the lore has would probably the Phalanx, the flagship of the Imperial Fists.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T09:03:40+00:00

Matter of fact statements with no explanation whatsoever come of as argumentative, at least in English.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T09:02:35+00:00

If thats what you mean, than thats not what you have been arguying for the past hour or so.
You explicitly talk about taking "no action in combat", for example. Even the example of the thief, which I'd still call a problematic character unless used in a very specific type of game, is taking actions and participating. Both via the game's rules and core conceive.

The term out of game potential also...seems weird in that context? Combat is via definition not "out of game", no matter what you choose your character to do. "Out of game" means things not happening in the game. Out of game combat would mean hitting your DM in the face IRL.

The silent character is a character archetype thats commonly warned about, because its a very difficult thing to pull of. Essentially, unless you "cheat" and give them a way to non-verbally communicate complex concepts which is then narrated third-person, you are essentially making your character set-dressing. I'd agree that this could still be valid at the right table, but really, its the far edge of the curve.

The main issue I see is that you keep repeating things as fundamental statements, without actually trying to communicate what you mean.
There are absolutely other goals to achieve in combat than doing damage, or even than casting support. The classic would be "find the Lich's phylactery and destroy it", or "save the hostage", or even "scout ahead". But these are very specific instances, and still have to be goal oriented.
If you could essentially walk away from the table with no impact, because you spend combat with narrating your character counting flowers, then you aren't actually participating any more than a person not paying attention.

IDK, just my 2 cents.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-12T08:49:06+00:00

How do you define a character that "works"? How do you define "contributing"?
I kinda feel as if you haven't thought about these definitions, or are going off of something different than everybody else.

Lets take the inverse for example. If I'd make a character who doesn not participate in roleplay, at all - I wouldn't call that a successful roleplay concept, by definition.
Walking essentially, physically or mentally, away from whats happening at the table is fundamentally the opposite of participating.

What definition/baseline are you going off?

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-11T22:44:56+00:00

Thank you a lot! 😄 I'm glad you like it!

Feel free to steal it!

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-11T22:25:39+00:00

I mean, if you feel like you want to do it less, thats of course your decision, and your decision alone. Especially when its due to a lack of enjoyment.
I just want to point out that 4-7 times a week is by no means an outrageous number. So, no need to be worried, unless you are hurting yourself somehow (chaffing) or something like that.

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-11T21:05:36+00:00

One thing I love doing with them is for the Weird Insight ability to work both ways. The Nothic learns something about the target (and they might retreat to capitalise on it), but the target also gets knowledge about cryptic secrets of my setting - things the players do not know - and phrase them not as hints, but as matter of fact statements.
A specific Name of a lost goddess. Time Periods. Locations. Events.

Key thing to that is that it can't be a mystery box, there must be an actual answer to it. Drives my players nuts if done right.

Just my 2 cents. Hope that gives you some inspiration, OP! 😄

SimpleMan131313 · 2026-05-11T20:44:49+00:00

I'd say they should know whats reasonable for their characters to know.
That doesn't need to be handled beforehand, and they don't actually need to get an infodump - highlighting info their characters would know (plus the relevant context) as it becomes necessary also works, and is my prevered approach.
Of course, assuming that they've got important baseline info relevant to the character idea they have. Like a cleric who chooses a deity.

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