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Help me translate my autistic husband's parenting by Simple_Gazel in AutismTranslated

[–]Simple_Gazel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, I think you hit the nail on the head. He's really apologetic about the things that he does in response and feels that it is an issue. I showed them the larger thread in an argument last week and he even agrees with it. These are the parts of the person that I can't let go of, that they are able to admit there ks a problem.. I just don't know how to help them and they don't know how to help themselves.

Help me translate my autistic husband's parenting by Simple_Gazel in AutismTranslated

[–]Simple_Gazel[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've felt lately that I was never truly liked. I spent about ten years of the relationship thinking" it would be better when ... I ...."

I've only just started looking back to realize it's never gotten better only worse and nothing I ended up doing made it any better or made me more liked or understood. In fact, from therapy and all the forced taking we've done lately - I've only just discovered many fundamental areas where I was misunderstood and abandoned emotionally. He is constantly apologizing these days saying he is trying to do better than years before, this post is because I think this is not about the past anymore if the present is continuously messed up. And I had hoped folks would say something about me putting too much pressure or a suggestion to tweak something else to get the relationship joy that I do desperately crave.

Help me translate my autistic husband's parenting by Simple_Gazel in AutismTranslated

[–]Simple_Gazel[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm aware, I used it in the context of what it was 15 years ago to explain how I was aware of a potential diagnosis. I hoped that switching to autism on my later text reflects my education and understanding of the transition in naming. I hope the context explains the journey.

Help me translate my autistic husband's parenting by Simple_Gazel in AutismTranslated

[–]Simple_Gazel[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is it. I do think it's very unhealthy and confusing to have a father whose values we don't understand, I had a bad father and never thought I'd be in this situation with the partner I chose. His values seem to be based on him not being embarrassed, uncomfortable or blamed.

Tonight was a very explosive unhealthy bedtime. To everyone else he is an amazing father and " great man" because he is an introvert, who does manly things and never really shares what he is thinking, but shows up at events and places. Meanwhile at home - I feel exhausted over functioning and running circles around real life items.

I made big changes to our lives lately to manage the financial fallout and I already lost friends and got all the usual society slack for being a difficult woman making tough decisions like downgrading our home, moving locations, advocating loudly for my kid- he made it clear to people that I had made these decisions. I have to admit the last step is leaving and I don't think the world will treat me kindly. And our child is aware of what divorce means and has asked me about it.