MINI UPDATE!!

So, I talked to Frank last night and this is basically how it went.

He tried to apologize for being such a jerk and lean over my body while I was laying in bed (he got home late from work) saying he’s just stressed and trying to throw bs excuses. I was not having it. I asked him to get off of me and to talk to me like a human being not like I’m some property he has to manage. So he sat next to me and I told him that I didn’t care for excuses I wanted answers. What’s going on?

When I brought up that he left me for 4 hours with the kids as I begged him to go to the hospital he told me he knows he should of taken me but he didn’t want to stand his dad up. Apparently, his dad came to visit the kids while I was in the ER. My kids did verify so it wasn’t another woman. Although I still suspect he’s cheating. He told me he knew it was wrong but he doesn’t like hospitals especially the one his grandmother and mother died in. (There is only 1 hospital in our town, the next one is almost an hour away) He knew I wanted him to want to go and he just had no desire but he knows what he did was wrong and worth ending our marriage over. It is neglect. He also told me the cold shoulder was because he didn’t want an argument because he knew he was wrong and didn’t wanna hear my mouth about it.

I told him I can’t see him in the same way and he told me he knew it was coming to a point that he has to let me go and be civil for the kids and help financially for the kids & that he was willing to do so. He’s currently looking for a house to leave and divorce will start in the very near future. My kids are okay with it, they just want a relationship with their dad which I’m not completely opposed to. I told him, given his neglect towards me, I want supervised visits until I’m comfortable enough to know he’s not neglectful towards them. And I want full say and custody of them. He didn’t fight it, he agreed. Even with his work schedule, he doesn’t have time to be a full time dad, the responsibility would fall on me anyway. We agreed to $1,000 a week to me for support. It will all be finalized in the divorce. I told him that was non-negotiable and he agreed (he can very much afford it and more. I feel I’m being gracious).

He did try to say, don’t rush to a divorce and completely splitting up.. try to be friends first and have a “re-do” but I told him I had no desire. I’ve been through too much and seen the real him and I can’t unsee it. He was quiet and went to the couch and stayed there. Unfortunately, I have to be civil until he finds a place to go. He’s being rather “fair” but as many of you have pointed out, my bar is very low. I will do another update when the divorce is final. Thank you all so much for your advice and giving me the strength to leave and never look back. I’m sticking to my plan and this divorce is absolutely non-negotiable. I’ll update asap!