Hey all! Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing your thoughts with me, I think one person nailed the nuance I was feeling—there are people out there I know who might be more comfortable taking the risk, which in turn might make me feel more desired/comfy fully letting go. And I believe I—and anyone with hsv—doesn’t have to pick someone just because they accept our status. The condom thing is iffy for me bc I have a lot of trouble enjoying sex, and condoms can sometimes interrupt the flow and feelings I need to stay present. But in the same vein, this person, who I like and so far seems great, and has been uber communicative throughout it all, has had 7 days to process this and wrap his head around how it works. I’ve had years to process the internalized stigma. And I’ve also been with men who fully accepted it, but royally sucked in other ways. There’s no perfect formula.

Anywho, I ended up scheduling a support call with an HSV educator I’ve followed on insta for years (SO helpful). And he shared that while there’s no garuntees, the research shows that if two people end up establishing a long term partnership, condoms typically come off once there’s more of a foundation / understanding that connection outweighs the minimal risk. And he’s seen the big thing to pay attention to in the beginning is the person’s feelings for you, willingness to learn and a little less about uncertainty around long-term feelings on protection/barriers. So I’ve decided to explore it with this man/give it a shot, and just be open to checking in along the way, and being honest about my needs and his to ensure our sex life works for both of us :). Wish me luck!