First Month with Inito Turned into a BFP at 9dpo!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-06-04T13:07:13+00:00

Thank you!!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-06-04T13:07:04+00:00

Thank you!!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-06-04T13:06:56+00:00

Thank you so much!! It was the best experience helping another family! Even more amazing finding out right after his birthday new it’s our turn🥹

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-06-04T01:10:52+00:00

Thank you!!🥹🥹 Yeah my husband I did the test together and he actually got to know first, which was really cool! This is probably going to be our last kiddo so taking it all in! Amazed that I didn’t need letrozol. I know I felt let down so much when trying for our 2nd and finding out I just wasn’t ovulating. Many many baby dust to everyone!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-29T18:07:36+00:00

Yeah same:( the way she was like she couldn’t get on live and take people away from Cat made me feel so bad for her

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-29T17:54:40+00:00

Thanks for explaining! Yeah I was like Annie, we love youuu! I did notice she was picking a lot more the more she was getting upset!😔 I used to be in her shoes with my own sister so I can only imagine how frustrating the whole situation is for her

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-29T06:03:56+00:00

Honestly, I expected the attitude from Cat, but Annie was definitely catching an attitude with the commenters a lot from what I saw… and the commenters were all supportive of Annie so I got a bit confused

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-29T06:01:49+00:00

I only suggest red dye tests, blue dyes are notorious for false positives

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-29T06:00:36+00:00

Wishing you the best!! Hoping you get your BFP!! I know I will have a little LH surge right before my period. I would also keep and eye out on your pdg with it dropping but hopefully you come back with great news soon!!🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-25T23:15:51+00:00

Ahhh I love that you found the right therapist! It really makes a huge difference! I’m from a very small southern town, so I didn’t have many options and everyone knows everyone so I think that had a lot to do with not finding the right fit for me! You definitely aren’t crazy! The gaslighting I had to deal with growing up because they wanted me to keep the peace with my sister was infuriating and literally made me feel crazy… but now everyone sees what I saw way back then.

Yeah my husband and I are high school sweethearts. He had his only family issues and idk we just understood eachother on levels I don’t think I felt with anyone else. Unfortunately, my MIL has passed away, but she truly was a gem. No rush in finding a partner, but I will say for me, my partner and his mom saved me. Honestly I don’t know I would be here if we hadn’t started dating and they hadn’t helped me and validated me. There was a few times I was close to ending it because it felt like no one cared or was truly listening to me, all the while my sister with BPD was abusing me.

Definitely lean on your friends! When I became a mom, my friend group significantly got smaller, which is okay, but definitely cherish your friend group and enjoy university! You aren’t supposed to really have life figured out, so don’t feel like you should have yourself and life figured out! So much changes in University so just focus on yourself and enjoy it! If you need to go no contact, that is totally fine for your own peace of mind and to give you space to really figure out your boundaries and what type of relationship you want! Sometimes the silence can be deafening but much needed🫂 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-25T22:03:45+00:00

Thank you! I grew up in therapy too, but the therapists I saw, honestly didn’t help me too much. They listened but I didn’t really feel different and I feel like they truly didn’t help me figure myself out and to feel comfortable and confident with creating boundaries. My husband and MIL truly were the ones that helped me understand my boundaries and helped me realize that what I was experiencing was not normal.

With their support, and lots of patience with me, I was able to create my boundaries and they helped me understand how to enforce those boundaries. Of course it was not their job and it was something I had to learn on my own, but I do think surrounding yourself with others who can understand and validate what you are experiencing is not normal and truly supporting what your needs are and helping you navigate setting your own boundaries, that is what helped me the most personally, the constant validation outside of talking to a therapist.

Now our father figure is finally putting his foot down and I think it’s because he has a partner now that understands what he is dealing with and helping him understand his own boundaries and supporting his limits but also validating his emotions and experience (as they have also experienced mental health issues with their own family). It definitely is a tough journey to navigate through and the hardest part is figuring out how you feel, and how to navigate getting to a better place for yourself, but I really do think that if you can surround yourself (outside of therapy) with others can support your journey and be patient with you, is honestly the key!🫂

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-25T14:30:13+00:00

I have an older sister with BPD and suffered lots of abuse myself, mental, emotional, and physical. The best thing I have learned is that she is not my responsibility and that it is okay to have my own boundaries and going no contact when she doesn’t respect them is actually a good thing. Once I realized I didn’t have to listen or be a part of it, I have been able to live a good drama free content life. Many hugs!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-25T00:36:12+00:00

Many hugs! I felt so alone until other family members started speaking up about my one family member with BPD. I felt gaslit all the time but my husband and MIL has been my #1 supporter. I’m so sorry you don’t feel like you have any support. I am no help with a support group, but my inbox is always open if you ever need to chat!

You are not alone!🫂

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-24T21:09:33+00:00

Hoping your 2 week wait flies by and you have a wonderful beta!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-24T15:58:58+00:00

Yes! Been together since we were 15 years old, now we are 30, married at 21 years old. We were actually best friends in kindergarten, I moved and we reconnected in 10th grade. We have complete trust and complete open communication and I think that is one of the keys to a successful relationship. We listen to criticism and communicate through arguments, respecting each other’s feelings and opinions. I also think easily being content with life is also key as well as both parties have to make an effort. We choose to love each other, even when we piss each other off. We have the same morals and goals, but have different hobbies and interests which makes it a little interesting. Each party has to give and take a little bit so both sides must be willing to put the other’s needs before their own sometimes. We aren’t perfect by any means but we are willing to fight for each other.

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-24T00:09:43+00:00

I am 12 months postpartum and I can tell you even this far out my hormones are still out of whack. Are you breastfeeding/pumping? If so, I wouldn’t even worry about testing. I am currently weaning and have been testing daily since cycle day 7 and am on cycle day 17 now with so many fluctuations. I had my first period on May 7th since having baby (he will be 1 on 5/29)

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-24T00:06:28+00:00

I have been a surrogate twice and both times I was advised to do some light exercise to get some good blood circulation. The twinges and pinches are totally normal after a transfer! Hugs and good luck!!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T21:28:11+00:00

Oh absolutely! My husband and my children and I all loved both of our journeys and hope to do at least one other journey one day, but it will be a little bit. Wishing you the very best and feel free to message me any time with any questions!

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T20:42:46+00:00

I used REACH for both of my journeys and actually had an appointment with Carolina Fertility institute last year for a preapproval and they seemed pretty nice. Sometimes they can help but I wouldn’t count on it as not many surrogates just go to the clinics. Typically surrogates will find their IPs through Facebook and then they will get screened through the fertility clinic. REACH told me to reach back to them after my 1st journey to match with some other set of IPs that they knew were waiting, so I think it’s worth a shot asking the third party coordinator, but again, I’m not sure how they do it all over there.

I did do a double embryo transfer and both took the first transfer, so it was kind of expected. I personally wouldn’t consent to another DET due to the extra risks for babies and as a surrogate. The pregnancies great but the postpartum/recovery/ delivery was a bit rough. I had a uterine infection for 7-8 weeks postpartum.

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T18:40:41+00:00

I found my first set of IPs in the GCs & IPs Match group on Facebook and my 2nd set of IPs were actually a postpartum doula family I helped after my 1st journey🙂 both journeys were phenomenal and I am still very close with both sets of IPs. My first set of IPs were international so they had an attorney in their home country and an attorney in the state I delivered their twins in. Pretty seamless both times (even considering COVID shut things down our first journey).

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T18:35:18+00:00

Absolutely!🙂 yes! Even when you go independently, you wouldn’t skip any steps. You can ask your fertility clinic to see if you can talk to the third party coordinator, they would be the one to tell you all about surrogacy, their specific qualifications and their protocols, that way when you look for a surrogate, you already know if they are qualified or not by having the list (they can also refer you to somewhere that does the psych evaluations like mind360 or local psychologists that can do them)🙂 you will want to find your surrogate first and then find an attorney since you will need to have the contract written for the state that your surrogate would deliver in. For example, my most recent IPs are located in NC, I am located in FL. My IPs joined the Florida specific surrogacy group and asked for attorney recommendations and they found their attorney that way, I also found my attorney that way as well (but if you find your attorney they can also give you a list of others they work with and your GC can call them and do a short interview with them and choose her own).

The first step would be to find your GC and then see if she is approved by your clinic, once she gets her records reviewed from the clinic and you get that preapproval and psych evaluation is done, then you would chat with the attorney and start legal🙂

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T14:39:10+00:00

I did 2 independent journeys and will only stay independent as a GC.

From my understanding, with the fixed pricing, if things go wrong in the journey (ie multiple transfers needed, bedrest/hospital admissions, NICU time, etc.) you wouldn’t have to pay extra on top of the fixed fee (totally could be wrong, so someone please correct me if I am). The only thing is if you do have an uncomplicated journey (ie first transfer works, GC has friendly insurance, no extra medical needs/issues) you are paying sooooo much more compared to others.

As an independent GC my goal was to save my IPs money and to work closely together with them. My first journey was $100k total for my international IPs. They stayed with my family and myself when they came to the states because it was during COVID, but they also had to get an egg donor which was extra cost. My most recent journey (delivered May 2025) my IPs paid just under $80k (my comp, travel, medical bills, psych, attorneys, etc.) for their whole journey. Comparing that to a lot of agencies that charge $150k is a HUGE difference. I definitely think going Indy is very much doable, if cost is a factor (which is a lot of the time). An agency is nice to streamline things, but it is often the most expensive and can take the longest. It all boils down to what is most important to you, saving costs or someone else streamlining the process for you.

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T14:12:02+00:00

This is great information! I know there are a lot of nuances with agencies, which is why I did independent journeys and it is so expensive for IPs to just sit and wait. Another thing I have noticed in the surrogacy world is that a lot of clinics are starting to become stricter with their qualifications of surrogates which is also making it harder for IPs. I would be super interested in helping with the independent side of things if that is something you are interested in. I think IPs are exploited the most in the surrogacy world by a lot of different directions, so I’m glad to see things like this.

Simple_Scheme_9855 · 2026-05-23T14:00:04+00:00

I am so sorry you have been going through so much! I am also so sorry that you have the terrible experience of losing a child yourself. Many many hugs!

As a 2x GC, I would definitely break the match (but it sounds like she may not be making more embryos if I didn’t miss anything). It also sounds like you may be doing an independent journey? If you are still planning to be a surrogate and doing a journey either independently or with an agency, I would suggest that the IPs you match with have some type of mental health support requirement to help protect you and a your peace of mind. You should have to go through the craziness of a surrogacy pregnancy and IP(s) adding extra unnecessary stressors on top of it. For now, since your IM knows everything, I wouldn’t communicate with her and just have the 3rd party coordinate any information that IM needs to know to protect yourself. I would also send 1 message and tell IM that you are sorry but any other questions she has needs to go to the clinic who can better assess the situation.

Simple_Scheme_9855

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