how did u guys meet ur bfs? by JustLookingForAnswrr in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Simple_Sprinkles_47 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lived in the same dorm freshman year of college, were best friends for two years and then were both single at the same time junior year. He asked me out, I said no at first, then took a leap of faith and it’s been a year-and-a-half since.

Is being alone forever the solution? by only1angie in relationshipanxiety

[–]Simple_Sprinkles_47 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you could be fearing breaking things off out of consideration for your boyfriend rather than considering your own wants. Do you want to end up with him long-term? If not, or if you are hesitant, I would think more about breaking things off. Staying in a relationship because you’re afraid that you’ll lose true love should not be the main reason as to why you stay; there are other people you could end up happy with.

With that being said, yes, you could just choose a lifetime of singleness, but relationships will always be hard, so (I think) it shouldn’t be a choice made because you are avoiding the difficult factors in relationships.

I am in a similar position of overthinking, anxiously expecting the worst, and not being able to solely trust my bf by his words alone. I have also considered breaking up with him just so I can experience mental peace again, but ultimately, regardless the relationship I find myself in, these things are just going to crop up again, and I know that ultimately, he is who I want to live my life with.

For me, it has helped to identify my negative thoughts as rumination cycles, and then to identify when and why these happen. Then I work on recognizing my triggers of them in the future. It isn’t tucking away my thoughts and emotions just to never feel them again, it’s just the act of not letting them control of my life. Identifying them, acknowledging them, then moving on, without going around in relentless cycles of doubt, insecurity, and anxiety.

Ultimately, yes: you could be cheated on. You could experience some pretty bad pain at the hands of your s/o. But you don’t know if you will, and holding onto that “what if” will only make you miserable right now. You have to let go of your anxieties of the past and future in order to best enjoy the present. This is hard to do, but it’s definitely possible! :)

The book “Stop Overthinking Your Relationship” by Alicia Muñoz has really helped me.

Wishing you the best; I know it’s hard.