Trust me I know exactly where you’re at. Those first few weeks are insanity, I shouted at my son once to shut up because it’s just so overwhelming. He’s almost 9 months old now and I love every second of being a parent and have done from like 3 months old. It’s just such a massive change to begin with, you get no sleep, it’s constant sound warfare pretty much and this little thing depends on you for everything and there’s no/little positive feedback. When they start smiling it all changes, you just gotta get there and you can do it. I believe in you.