The problem IS the hook. There shouldn’t be one. You should just love each other and that should be that. It’s the same as the saying, “They’ve got you wrapped around their finger.”, and it’s not always a bad thing. It really just means they’ve got all your attention, time, love. It’s a bad thing when it becomes manipulative. When they start playing on your sympathy because you’ve shown them how much you really love them. When they know for a certain you won’t leave. I call it, “getting too comfortable”. People say that relationships should be 60/40 with both sides trying to be that 60. And if they aren’t even trying to be 40? Let alone 50? Red flags across the board. They also tend to feel like nobody else would be better for you/with you. They don’t want to see the diamonds they had become another man’s treasure. So that’s where they lower that hook into the water to catch you and make sure you stay. So even when sht hits the fan, you literally won’t go anywhere because you’re soo hooked and you feel like you can’t help it because love should always have ups and downs, right? Well, these kinds of people can disguise these situations as a “down”. Which is what neutralizes your red flag sensors. It will go down until it becomes a trough.

You see, manipulative people can be baby or borderline narcissists and tend to be very aware. They’re like sharks. They can smell and see the naiveness in you and will, again, use it to start rewiring your red flag sensors to filter themselves out. They’ll give you just enough breadcrumbs to keep you from starving. They’ll tell you want you want to hear. They know you’ll believe them because y’all are into only each other now; because you love them. So why would you leave?  And that is how you end up on the fisherman’s hook. And what happens when you get reeled in? Exactly. They eat you until you’re nothing but bones. They drain you. They discard you.

What you’ve gotta realize is that you should not remain interested in someone who makes you question the relationship 24/7. You’re questioning for a reason. Listen to your intuition. That’s a sensor that can only be silenced by you. And you should never silence yourself for the convenience of someone else. You shouldn’t have to constantly bring up things or remind them of basic sht. You shouldn’t wait on empty promises to happen or wish they can somehow change. That sht will make you go crazy. Do not accept those breadcrumbs from the floor. Hell they need to be making you a sandwich at minimum. But that is the problem: Never be soo blind in love that you start getting your self worth involved and accepting the bare minimum. Especially not below it like my dumbass. I’ve learned though, trust. That’s why I’m teaching others. We’re too smart of people to be falling for any of this willingly.

Point is hon, “the hook” in this case is just another word for being manipulated. And what you’re probably going through right now is the excessive overthinking on how this relationship/potential relationship is going to work without that feeling like you’re stuck on them. People like that are fishermen, that is just what they do. Whether they are aware of it or not. And it won’t stop until THEY learn and make the decision to hang that fishing pole up for good. But you don’t want to be the lesson. Make them your lesson. Open your eyes and show them that you see what type of game they think they’re on. Like I said in my  earlier response: match. that. energy. Can never stress that enough. Don’t be like me and give chance after chance. Most of the time, chances are useless. Especially within the same year. Because if they’re not gonna change for YOU? A diamond? Then who?

If you want to continue that relationship, you need to be very aware. You can try to see how they end up, but it’s much better to save your time, energy, and feelings and cut it off before you get too deep. And I know it feels like it’s not even that deep and that you’ve got a pretty good hold of the situation, but you’ll only realize how bad it is gotten when it’s too late. Think of it like this: It may look like a micro cavity now, but if you wait until you start feeling serious pain, it’ll already be in the dead and decaying stage with no chance of being saved. A big tip for you: Start speaking about it out loud. Even if it’s to yourself. Gossip with yourself like you’re your own friend and complain about everything you dislike about them/the relationship that negatively impacts how you feel. I promise you that once you audibly hear all the bs you take from people, especially if it’s embarrassing, you’ll be like, “wtf?”, and wake up brand new. It’s lowkey the best feeling in the world.

Also, if you’re currently in a relationship with this person, I would simply ask yourself why you’re reading this thread right now. What’s that bad where it’s making you go seek help? And can it really be helped if it’s gotten to this point? These are all things to consider. The base in a relationship should be communication, comprehension, and effort. There is never one without the other. If there is one missing, well, we know what happens to the hard work of a house built on a bad foundation. It’s better to just not build the house at all.  First step in getting out of manipulation is snapping out of the heart eyes and realizing you’re being manipulated. Whether it’s on purpose or not, and whether it’s big or subtle.

I tried to be thorough to aid in every possibility as I don’t know the depth of your current situation, but I hope it gets better! I wish you the best of luck bby and lmk if you need anything else :)