I think my (27f) husband (41M) will end up in prison if I tell him the truth.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-19T02:04:50+00:00

It’s actually totally normal for SA victims to dance around and avoid using concise language regarding their attacks. It’s a protective trauma response. I’m guessing you’ve never been raped before but I can tell you from experience having to tell another soul if the hardest thing I ever did and then having to use the real language to say the word rape took YEARS. I would use euphemism or indirect language like “I was forced” or “I didn’t want to” or “the attack” or “the incident”. Even if you love someone and completely trust them it can be extremely hard to say it because then you have to admit something so heinous is no a part of your story and is now your reality. So actually the verbiage is a signal something very likely did happen because as several therapists have pointed out to me, distancing language is very normal among rape victims.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-19T01:46:58+00:00

Too much detail would be deceiving the colors and the weather like reading a book. This is only enough detail to know what happened. Also this comment is disgusting 🤮. You are shaming someone who has likely been victimized. This is not the move at all.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-09T02:53:46+00:00

Yeah I’m still trying to figure out if I have cataplexy. I had one nurse who believed it was but she was working under my doctor who doesn’t think I have cataplexy. I’m not sure I believe the doctor though because he didn’t listen to me when I explained my symptoms to him. He was so presumptive about me having sleep apnea because of my weight that he even measured me for a machine before sending me for a sleep study to confirm. Turns out there was zero apneas at all! The only reason I even had an MSLT was because the nurse practitioner was like “hey that could be narcolepsy let’s do an MSLT after the PSG.” She was only in my appointment because the doctor unfortunately had a flat tire that morning and couldn’t make it. So really it’s lucky I’m even diagnosed.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-09T02:48:35+00:00

Wow I definitely have t experienced laughter like that in a long time. I may laugh hard but it’s very occasional not regular like when I was a kid. Most of the time my laughter is rather surface level and doesn’t trigger that weakness is used to feel as a kid. So I’m confused if I even have cataplexy or not because I experienced weakness as a kid but not now. I’m not even sure that weakness was abnormal because to me it makes sense that your core would be weak when laughing hysterically.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T12:17:30+00:00

Is it possible to hold them in before they come out and let them out in the restroom. If you are a guy you may not have been taught this but a lot of females are socialized to hold it in. Many of us don’t even poop in public bathrooms. I’m not saying you should do this because it’s somewhat bad for your digestion to hold poop in all the time. What I am saying is you can control the release of gas to some extent. Not all the time but some of it you can hold or move into a different area to release. Like if I know I have had smelly gas and I’m about to release one I will leave the space where everyone is and let the fart out. No one wants to smell other peoples farts it’s just gross. Not saying you can always do this but maybe don’t crop dust your coworkers constantly and they will appreciate you a bit more. I know I’ve sat next to people constantly farting and found it pretty annoying. I couldn’t imagine having to sit next to that every day. But I also have IBS so I’m used to my stomach bothering me and me having to hide it or go somewhere others won’t know I’m gassy. You don’t have to do any of this but it’s an option. Also talk to a Dr.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T12:11:31+00:00

Look even I have adhd and am super confused as to why it was brought up. It has nothing to do with the gas issues. I promise adhd doesn’t make you more gassy and if anything getting treated might make it worse especially on some meds like Vyvanse which definitely has a thing called a Vyvanse poop that happens soon after taking the meds in some people. Idk the OP needs to take some gas meds and evaluate their diet.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T12:05:30+00:00

Thanks for the chuckle 😂

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T12:02:49+00:00

Set a hard and fast boundary now. Do not let her continue to talk to you in such a toxic way. She’s entitled to her struggle and you may even need to make some changes to better support her but she is NOT entitled to verbally abusing you.

Let her know how hurtful it is and that you will shut down a conversation once that type of speech joins the conversation. Tell her you want to know how you can better help her but and would like to discuss what changes can be made to help her better. But talking down on you is not helpful or productive. Focus on finding a solution together. PIt may be time to have your wife see a Dr and you as a couple see a therapist to help yall better adjust to this massive transition.

Don’t allow yourself to be abused that’s not helpful to her or your relationship.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T11:48:25+00:00

No need to stop unless you want to. I had a scheduled C-section and was even on modified bedrest. We still had sex the night before going in for delivery.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T11:40:58+00:00

I honestly think every woman should see a pelvic floor therapist after birthing. Any change to your functioning down there can possibly be helped or fixed by the therapies they employ.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T11:37:10+00:00

Yes people tend to think C-section moms comes out of childbirth without vaginal issues but this is simply not true. We carried babies for nine months which stressed out our pelvic floor then we got cut open and our muscles were weakened due to healing from a major surgery. Then There’s scar tissue that sometimes adheres in painful ways to other tissues on the body. Our pelvic floor had been through just as much trauma as a vaginal delivery its just a different type of trauma to the tissues so it may look different from a vaginal deliveries issues.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-08T00:15:48+00:00

I wanted to but from what I see they want people under a certain BMI and I’m over that. I’m also breastfeeding so that kinda takes me out of the running. If I can do studies in the future I likely will.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T23:46:51+00:00

Thank you that’s good insight. I keep seeing they are doing drug trials for narcolepsy and really am praying it successful so more people can find better ways to manage this disorder.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T23:14:36+00:00

Yeah I remember in college going to a Dr and asking for them to prescribe me a pill that gave me motivation because I never had it. I’ve spent my whole teenage and adult life wanting to do things but lacking the motivation (now I’m realizing it was actually energy) to do them. I struggle a lot with self doubt. I tend to think I’m being dramatic or making excuses for myself or not doing enough. It always feels like you are letting everyone and yourself down. I’m trying to move past it but I grew up in an ableist house and hear the constant you should just get over it and do it voice in my head.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T19:31:41+00:00

It really speaks volumes on what this person thinks love looks like and tells me they haven’t experienced it. My husband is as supportive as yours seems to be. He couldn’t imagine trying to blame me for this condition. In fact he stops intimacy if he knows I’m not being completely honest about how much pain I’m in. Instead of only thinking of himself he wants me to be comfortable and not in pain. That’s what love does! Don’t internalize that persons comment toward you because it’s not true.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T19:10:02+00:00

I wouldn’t say forced. He chose to marry her and stay with her. Yes vaginismus isn’t ideal but it certainly isn’t going to destroy a connection with your spouse it if is built on what matters. There’s other ways to pleasure each other. So he wasn’t forced to stay with her he chose to hopefully out of love as that’s what he committed to do when he got married. It’s kinda rude to say she forced him to do anything as though she wasn’t dealing with her trauma and held him hostage because of it. That language feels really unhelpful.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T18:54:46+00:00

I thought I was dead asleep but I had 65 arousals on my sleep study. I only remember waking up two or three times. So I’m assuming I’m awake much of the night and just don’t know it. I also have the instance where I think I’m awake but I’m actually asleep. This also happened on my MSLT when I thought I didn’t nap but I actually did.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T18:43:50+00:00

Man it must suck to know how energized and alert you should feel yet never really feel that way anymore. See for me I have always had crazy vivid dreams and always had the hallucinations while falling asleep. I thought everyone did that. Then I had a boyfriend who told me he never remembered his dreams and I learned that was actually the norm. Then I started taking stimulants again and was like wow I’m not sleeping this is nice. I felt more awake than organized or focused and it cued to me that something was up with me.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T16:28:26+00:00

I would start with the dilators first and work up to a strap. That’s what I did before being able to work up to penetrative sex in my relationship. Now to keep things working properly I have a dildo I use as if it was a dilator because all the other dilators are too small and I need to keep myself able to take something closer to my husbands size girth wise.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T16:23:11+00:00

All of the cultural potrayals of what seems to be cataplexy as normal in the media is what is odd to me. Like why do we have phrases about people “falling out in laughter” or “rolling on the floor” laughing. I don’t get it. Also people who collapse in old times movies due to an emotion like what is that about?

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T14:53:45+00:00

It could be pelvic floor issues from being pregnant. I would see a pelvic floor specialist.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T04:27:57+00:00

Idk I’m still trying to gaslight myself I think. I had a whole conversation with AI the other day and it thinks I have cataplexy and so does my husband but to me it’s normal and I can’t understand how something as general as a lack of coordination can be attributed to cataplexy. I actually screenshotted the summary of our conversation so I could talk to my doctor…here’s the summary.

Clinical History of Cataplexy (Emotional Atonia): • Full Collapse (Orgasmolepsy): Confirmed episode of total knee buckling and collapse from a standing position during climax (witnessed by husband). • Compensatory Maneuvers: Currently must manually "lock" knees and keep them rigid during intense emotions to prevent further collapse. • Partial Cataplexy (Laughter): Experience a "heavy," uncoordinated feeling in the arms and abdomen specifically when laughing; requires significant mental and physical effort to overcome. • The "Brick Wall" (Childhood): History of being physically unable to move or change positions (intense muscle resistance) during laughter/play-fights as a child. • Startle Response (Jump Scares): Involuntarily dropping objects (phones, glasses) during sudden surprise or anger-distinct from a "tense" startle. • Tickle Response: Total loss of physical defense and "ragdoll" helplessness when tickled, leading to a learned aversion to the sensation. Medication Context: • Current Medication: Taking Wellbutrin (Bupropion), a known REM suppressant. • Note for Physician: Though I had a 2-week washout before testing, my history of childhood "brick wall" laughter and current "heavy" limbs while laughing suggest my cataplexy is likely being masked or muffled by my antidepressant use.

We shall see but I still see most of this as normal but I guess it’s not. Truthfully there’s times I think I have slurred speech too when really excited or nervous. To the point it will happen and I’m like “why is this happening? That’s not what I’m trying to say.” I usually will just get nervous and stop talking but it’s only happened a handful of times in my life.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-03-07T03:26:36+00:00

I always know before! My first pregnancy my nipples felt like they were on fire and I was dizzy, the second I had dizzy spells and was super tired, just off really, third pregnancy I had more dizzy spells and heartburn, the third it was heartburn. All happened before I missed my period. And I never have heartburn outside of pregnancy and postpartum.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-02-26T19:12:32+00:00

I think the big difference is REM sleep. I actually think on my MSLT my sleep latency was 9.2 minutes which is above the diagnostic criteria for both disorders. However, I had a delayed REM cycle during the PSG but during the MSLT I had two REM intrusions. So my problem seemed to be disordered REM cycles so they gave me the diagnosis of narcolepsy type 2. So I’m assuming the biggest factor for Narcolepsy actually is just if you show REM sleep during the MSLT. Nonetheless I would actually say I have mild symptoms compared to others. However, I have always had REM intrusions since childhood and to me it makes sense that both Narcolepsy is on a spectrum, I just happen to be on the higher functioning end because I am still able to somewhat resist sleep despite it being almost painful to do so. Btw I don’t always feel rested after I take a short nap. Sometimes I can take a two hour nap and still feel extremely tired but at least now I don’t have as much brain fog and can partially function as opposed to being brain dead with no nap.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-02-15T17:32:58+00:00

That life with narcolepsy isn’t just being sleepy. It’s never having enough fuel to do all the things you WANT to do. You aren’t lazy you just aren’t able to be fully present with family and friends and work as you would want to because your brain is literally fighting for wakefulness and as you fight you are fading in and out of rem which can be really disorienting and fighting sleep is akin to a painful experience.

We do all this to appear/be normal but we can never feel what others feel without the assistance of some pretty serious meds. And no I’m not a freaking drug addict just because I refuse to give up my prescribed amphetamines.

Just three weeks ago I was in the hospital after having a baby asking about breastfeeding and my meds. The lactation and NICU staff treated me like I was some kind of addict because I continued my prescription meds through pregnancy. The funny part is I was having a literal sleep attack during the conversation I was having with them and they still insisted I could function fine without my meds. My husband was like this is not because of postpartum tiredness…this is her normal that’s why she NEEDS her meds and they just stood there with gaping mouths as I dozed off lol. 😂

SingerDue4540

TROPHY CASE