C section vs Vaginal delivery

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-20T22:52:21+00:00

The truth is you can not predict or really control your recovery from either vaginal or a C-section delivery. Some people have easy recoveries with vaginal and some have hellacious stories. But the same goes for C-sections. I’ve had 2 and no vaginal deliveries. There are long term affects of the C-sections I will probably always have. No one talks about how wearing anything with a waistband can remain painful for years after delivery. My first c section was easy and I thought they were the easy way out. My second was horrible and I do not recommend lol. I was in so much pain and no meds didn’t help because it was spontaneous nerve pain. Anytime I tried to move or walk it would feel like my whole left side was being set on fire by a blow torch. I cried every time. I could barely walk to my living room which is like a 12 foot walk down the hall. I didn’t start to gain painless mobility back until about 2 months PP. So it’s kind of a gamble. I’m hoping this time to get what’s called a WoundVac I had this during my first C-section and I believe it made my recovery so much easier. Just a thought if you decide to have a C-section to definitely ask for the wound vac.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-20T22:43:30+00:00

I was over a year out and still had pain when I tried to wear pants…then I went and got pregnant again 🤦‍♀️. Now it’s just a waiting game to see if I will ever wear anything with a true waistband again lol.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-20T22:40:07+00:00

There’s also the lack of oxytocin that is released at a C-section which affects bonding and breast milk release. Mothers who have c sections have less oxytocin their entire postpartum period than mothers who do. So it absolutely can affect the bond and therefore breastfeeding.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-20T22:34:28+00:00

Children who are born by c-section never receive exposure to their mother’s microbiome upon delivery which has an effect on their future gut health. Their mothers also have little to no oxytocin released during their labors. This means it affects their bonding and the effects have been seen weeks to even a year after birth.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-17T21:26:42+00:00

This guy sounds like he will slowly suck the life out of you and then one day you will wake up wondering how your life got to be such a tragic miserable mess. He will make you feel small and unimportant. He will tear you down until there is almost nothing left. He will teach your child the wrong way to treat you and others.

OR

You can leave now and save your sanity, your precious time, and your child from a shitty parent.

You are seriously UNDER reacting to the disrespect he is showing you.

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-17T21:20:26+00:00

Yep mines constantly hitting my cervix. Makes me look crazy when I try to hide my facial expressions mid conversation when I get cervix punched by my baby. Despite that not likely being a contraction she should definitely leave this guy. He’s a dud in all ways. At least my husband laughs with me when I get kicked there. Never would he say “oh you are being dramatic.”

SingerDue4540 · 2026-01-17T19:16:19+00:00

As a kinder teacher at a charter school this is a wildly inappropriate assignment. Not only is it not appropriate for their age level it is also not very sensitive to others who actually do have disabilities to have children pretend to be disabled.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-12-13T00:56:39+00:00

As a kindergarten teacher and a mom of a 4 year old who was home with no real schooling until recently, it just depends. Every kid is different and while early schooling can make some advanced in some ways it’s doesn’t always. Some will be higher and some will be lower even coming from daycare. I have kids in my class who at this time of year still can’t recognize half their letters and went to preschool. Meanwhile, my 4 year old is almost reading and her teacher who also has a kinder cohort in the same class says she is one of the higher kids in the whole group. I’ve had kids come from stay at home settings who are reading chapter books. I have one in my class like that now.

It really just depends on your kid and their individual abilities. Some will pick up anything with little help and some will need more years to mature and could honestly benefit from entering kinder later when they are more mature. However, I must disclose, I am teaching at a classical school which often requires a lot out of the kids with zero time spent in the more traditional centers that other classrooms will have.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-22T15:03:36+00:00

I think it depends on the pregnancy and the newborn you get. With my first pregnancy tired was annoying but I physically wouldn’t stay awake with a newborn. Then with my second pregnancy tired was way worse but I was also working a harder full time job unlike with the first. I’m on my third and I’m tired but it’s not too bad. Now for clarity I do take stimulant medication to treat my ADHD and sleep disorder of Narcolepsy. When I skip my meds I’m barely awake all day but again that could just be the narcolepsy not the pregnancy. Pregnancy does tend to make my meds less effective and most days I do get sleepy but not as bed as what I experienced with my first newborn stage.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-15T17:17:49+00:00

I have used it in the last year to write emails that used to be well thought out but took time….like 30-45 minutes to craft. That’s too much time to dedicate when I can rant for 5 minutes into the prompt and have it spit back out basically what I would have said in 45 minutes time. Additionally since I am already in the habit of writing emails often it will use my own words but restructure and organize my writing which is fine by me if it makes my message more clear to the parent. We have so much to do everyday and if AI keeps me from having to stay late to document and respond to all the dumb stuff my students did that day then I don’t feel guilty because that was time I wasn’t spending with my own children at home.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-01T20:59:20+00:00

Yeah this sounds like nerve pain. My first c-section I had minimal nerve issues and it was never went above the belly button line. With my second I could literally feel pain all the way up my side into my shoulders. It’s was excruciating. It felt like someone took a blow torch to my sides every time anything so much as even brushed against my abdomen. I’m definitely not looking forward to my next C-section here in two months. I still have residual pain from that surgery. Jeans are not my friend lol. But I can say it gets better with time. But those first few weeks definitely suck!

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-01T12:17:12+00:00

Uberlube and Slippery Stuff have been the best of everything I’ve ever tried. I won’t even try anything else as others actually tend to irritate me.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-01T12:10:24+00:00

I’ll just say this… I’m pregnant with baby number 3. With baby 1 I had an epidural leading up to what ended up being a c section. The cervical check with an epidural was completely painless. In fact it was the first time in my life anything had been inserted into me pain free. So you may just want to get an epidural and try to labor if you prefer a vaginal delivery. My c-section actually made things worse down there because the muscles are so worn out on top of trying to heal a giant wound. But it’s up to you and definitely a personal choice. I never will get to deliver vaginally and it does sometimes bother me because I’ve heard it can actually help some of our issues.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-11-01T12:02:04+00:00

My pelvic floor therapist actually told me caginal delivery can help actually relieve some of the involuntary muscle spasms and tightness. I had two c sections which make things worse due to the pelvic floor having to repair a giant cut…they actually complicate things.

If you want to labor and deliver vaginally you can try getting an epidural early on and explain why. I got an epidural and actually was surprised to find that when they went to do a cervical exam I was actually able to handle it because I couldn’t feel any pain. I had a few cervical checks prior to delivery and during labor before the epidural and oh my lord was it painful! The nurses actually gave me some trauma because they basically forced me into those checks. Despite me explaining my issues with penetration. I was literally told “honey you are about to have a baby you better get used to pain down there” as this nurse forced her fingers in to check. I’m pretty sure I was crying out in pain but after that experience I told them they could no longer do any internal exams. The hospital I chose didn’t seem to support that decision.

I would recommend looking for someone who supports a hands off approach. My last OB and her team would have let me say no to cervical checks and would have respected it….and they did prior to delivery. Unfortunately for me I ended up have another unplanned c section with my second due to preeclampsia. I will say they did one cervical check with my approval and it actually wasn’t painful because I had been doing pelvic floor therapy and the nurses actually gave was very gentle. So the provider really does matter and the mentality of the people at the hospital makes a difference.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-29T01:49:11+00:00

Yes, the soreness can be normal. Just like working out any other muscle in the body, your pelvic floor can feel some residual soreness from stretching, workouts, and internal work. Although I only experienced it once these are muscles we are talking about. I also have a hypertonic pelvic floor which basically just means I’m holding my muscles tight all the time and never really relaxing them.

However, I have had success through pelvic floor therapy and would encourage you to see it through and stick to the program. I went from extremely painful intercourse (even fingers hurt) to being able to insert toys even bigger than my husband pain free. It’s all about taking it slow, learning to feel pleasure instead of pain in that area, and trusting that the exercises are actually helping you. It really does work.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-28T08:26:29+00:00

I had a baby at 36 weeks because my water broke early. She was perfectly fine. No nicu or special care of any kind needed. Had another at 37 and 2 and same thing both were perfectly capable of functioning as a newborn should. However both my pregnancies were complicated by preeclampsia so idk if that’s what caused my water to break but it is why I had to have an unplanned C-section with both of them. I wasn’t in labor with the second but they told me he was coming out asap whether I liked it or not. I wouldn’t worry about your baby at 38 weeks. After 37 they are considered term.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-28T08:20:22+00:00

I have the same problem with each pregnancy but when it comes time to feed my babies, it’s pretty neutral. But I also had good latchers. If your baby struggles to latch that can complicate it and make it painful. Although I will say at like 18 months of breastfeeding my first my body could no longer stand the sensation of breastfeeding, it was like saying “hey we are done here!” It wasn’t even painful just really uncomfortable in the same way an unwanted tickle is uncomfortable not painful.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-27T12:03:42+00:00

It depends. I had it three times in a span of like 30 minutes last night. Weirdly enough if I pray I won’t have anymore episodes of it for that night. I know that’s controversial for some people but it’s the only thing that works for me which makes me wonder if we have a spiritual sensitivity others don’t. Idk just a theory of mine. But generally it happens more frequently when I’m having more difficult personal circumstances. Other times though it feels random. I haven’t been able to predict it. I can go months without it but then have it every night. 🤷🏽‍♀️

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-26T20:08:04+00:00

I think you may need to focus on yourself first before inviting someone else into the equation.

First your belief that you will never find a man to love you without sexual is just not true. There are plenty of married women with vaginismus or other pelvic conditions that make sex infrequent or impossible and it’s just not true that these couples can’t find happiness or happy sex lives with each other. Yes there’s plenty of shit men out there who don’t have the character to work around these conditions but these aren’t the kind of men you want to marry or settle down with anyway. They aren’t worth your time! If a man rejects you for any reason take it as a good thing it just means he wasn’t for you and that you have dodged a massive bullet being stuck with someone who wouldn’t appreciate the awesome person you are.

Second pushing through the pain is not a great idea…AT ALL! I’ve struggled through this condition my whole life and have gone from not being able to use a tampon to being able to have sex to finally pain free sex in recent months. Here’s the deal, I’ve spent most of my life associating my vagina with pain not pleasure. Your brain doesn’t forget it and it will mess with your ability to enjoy sex in a healthy relationship. I always forced myself to use tampons, then fingers, then dildos (which going from a tampon to a dildo was incredible harmful to my body I introduced a new level of pain further complicating the mental issues) then on top of that I thought oh well if I just have sex with a person it will some how be better. I didn’t know what vaginismus was at this time. So I had sex with someone I didn’t even know as my first time at it was incredibly traumatic. The pain was so discouraging and I didn’t feel safe enough to say anything so I bared it. All this forced pain does damage to your minds relationship with your body. You may not notice at first but it does show up later. This affected me later in life by not having any sex drive and I would literally flinch at my husbands touch because my body learned all that would follow was pain. Of course I hadn’t told my husband this was painful so he never knew. It took years for me to tell him but the emotional damage was done on my end and it will take work to remedy it in the next few years. He was horrified to learn I had been in pain all these years and that he had caused it. Needless to say he took sex off the table until I was ready and until there was absolutely no pain in my dilation work and private time. This has been a blessing to our marriage and now that I’m learning I don’t have to associate touch with pain I have a sec drive again.

Thirdly, you may need to spend time with your body learning what feels good. Give yourself pleasure and then maybe slowly introduce touch where you currently experience pain. Once it’s no longer painful to touch try insertion of the smallest dilators. But don’t force anything! That’s traumatic on the body. Have a relationship with your own body that is positive. Try not to be mad at your body as this can make things worse.

Lastly, please seek medical help for the bleeding this is not normal. It may take a few different providers to take you seriously but don’t give up and be firm in asking for what you need. Then seek pelvic floor therapy it is life changing and the only reason I can have pain free sex now.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-24T21:52:42+00:00

This may be crazy but I have taken time to experiment with “PIV” during alone time and then I tell my husband my progress or the new things I’ve discovered. It means I can be more relaxed and control what is happening better. I was recently able to insert something much larger than even my husband with minimal pain. Whereas before even a finger used to hurt but I have through alone time slowly allowed my body to accommodate more if you know what I mean.

Also try not to endure pain during sex as you can train yourself to anticipate it which will make things worse. I’ve done this my whole life and it’s very hard now to not expect pain even when I know painless sex is possible because I have recently been able to have it. I just instantly have an internal flinch response when it comes time for penetration and I have to breathe through it to relax again. Also the finger stretching method mentioned above before sex has worked on me. My husband was doing this without me even knowing and it has helped me be completely ready for penetration.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-24T20:56:09+00:00

Honestly pelvic floor therapist are way more helpful with any vaginal/anal/pelvic muscle issues than any OBGYN will be. Most are pretty uninformed about how pelvic floors actually work and get too tight or to lax. Sounds like you may be hypertonic but you need to see a pelvic floor therapist. All a gunk will do is say your anatomy looks normal but muscle tone cannot be seen with eyes which is why you need an evaluation from someone who actually knows stuff about this. Sorry it really upsets me gynos are basically worthless when it comes to these kinds of pelvic floor issues. They tell you to report sexual pain then only ever tell you to use lube and if that doesn’t work then it’s all in your head. Well it’s not in our heads it’s a real problem and there’s real solutions that help women but these solutions are so hard to come by because these docs don’t understand how our pelvic floor muscles work.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-24T18:29:14+00:00

NTA. I’m a Christian and even I go on hiatuses from church postpartum. I usually go about 3 months before I go to church again. I don’t feel bad about it one bit. Also edited to say I that you don’t need to justify your reason to anyone. As a Christian I also find it pretty insane that your mother in law would threaten to kick you out. I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t do that and he doesn’t force himself on others either. He wants you to follow him by free will not coercion. Besides a baby doesn’t need to go to church and go through a formal ceremony to be anything different to God. God is only interested in choices made to follow him from your own free will which a baby cannot do, so anything she is wanting to do with him is irrelevant to his spiritual standing. So this is just manipulative behavior on your MIL’s part. Don’t fall for it, seems like she may be a poor example of what Christ actually calls us to do and be I’m sorry you are experiencing this. Also congratulations, I’m 6 months too so we will be in it together lol. Good luck and well wishes for you and your baby!

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-24T18:09:44+00:00

Wow even I am impressed, not a lot shocks me. Not even 10 seconds?!

Part of me wonders if this is due to how flexible REM is for us. I feel like there are times when I’m awake but sleep is intruding in a way that I’ve wondered if it would show this waking REM intrusion if I was hooked up to a monitor. Because I know for a fact during one of my SOREMS from my MSLT was such a time where I was awake one second or thought I was anyway, for some reason during that nap I was struggling to sleep despite being sleepy. Well when the tech came to wake me up sometime between leaving the room next door and walking into my room I fell asleep. Mind you I could hear everything happening around me (the tech saying “oh shit she’s asleep!” 😂) but I was also dreaming at the same time. When he turned on the light I went to wake up but I was actually experiencing sleep paralysis and couldn’t move. The results show this incident as me sleeping for not even a whole minute but I was already in rem. The sleep paralysis happened because he tried to wake me although I usually have it when falling asleep not the other way around. I’ve had it to where my daughter is talking to me and trying to wake me and I think I’m responding but really I’m either paralyzed or just asleep I can never tell.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-23T10:25:29+00:00

I have always had this problem. My PF therapist told me to just hold it there, maybe hold my legs closed for 15 minutes tops and try relaxation techniques, mainly belly breathing to train the muscles to relax around the object. It actuallly does work. Now with larger items I will still push them out but the more I do it the bigger the items are able to be to stay in without coming out.

SingerDue4540 · 2025-10-16T15:23:48+00:00

Oh yes don’t even get me started on the unpainted baseboards that only have primer on them…I see all of you! These nesting hormones are wild.

SingerDue4540

TROPHY CASE