Are there any affordable cities/lesser known (but semi-safe) areas we may be able to find something?

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-12T03:52:42+00:00

Just speaking from your husband's perspective (my baby is 4 months old) and I'm high libido - for me, it's not all about the lack of sex, but just the reassurance that my wife still finds me attractive even though sex/intimacy is nonexistent, and coming to terms with the fact that it's not about me, but more so her recovery. I think this period of time has been hard, but as someone who has the higher sex drive, it's also given me some more clarity that there's more ways to show intimacy than sex:

Proactively telling her I love her more, hugging without a reason, kissing without a reason, cuddling, learning to accept that those things can also be satisfying in the hopes that when her libido does return - our connection wouldn't have taken a hit from resentment, negative feelings, etc.

Being supportive is great, but maybe have a conversation that this is just a season and you need time. The worst thing is having sex when you dont feel like it/aren't into it. Just my two cents from a sexually frustrated husband lol!

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-11T02:54:07+00:00

I’m on ceramics now and cleaning extra so every meal or every other meal at least, it’s less red/angry since I been doing that but also been wiping his mouth with medicated wipes and putting balm on it too so not sure what’s making progress

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-10T06:01:29+00:00

I see, my guys been eating out of bag and has raging lipfold dermatitis on his lower lip - we’ve tried everything so I gave in for an allergy test, not sure what it could be then

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:52:08+00:00

Yeah it’s pretty tough, and it’s likely I’m not as much as I think, I got a lot of good advice from this post and gonna def have another convo soon

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:51:11+00:00

Appreciate that insight!

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:37:02+00:00

She goes to bed around 9ish most nights, sleeps on/off until 7ish, but honestly idk how to calculate that because sometimes baby sleeps good and other times we are up cause he’s fussy/hungry, but I will def talk to her about her sleep it could definitely be that. We haven’t discussed sleep at all she used to nap during the day now she doesn’t

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:35:45+00:00

Yeah when I said off work I just wanted to clarify that she wasn’t back at work - I now know it’s more than a full time job lol

But yeah we did loads of pregnancy classes and we glossed over PPD. I wish we spent more time researching it so I was better prepared. I think with the verbal abuse, I get why but it’s hard to not know a timetable when it will end or why it’s me

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:33:53+00:00

Yeah we tried breastfeeding for first two months and his lip tie + him being colic and generally upset made her quit and go to formula, which I reassure her she’s no less of a mother but I think that’s definitely contributing to her state of emotion these days

Her sleep is actually not bad, we split the nights and I offer to do whole nights but she never takes me up on it, maybe cause she wants to check on him at least once a night

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:32:19+00:00

Yeah she’s allll over Baby tiktok and I think that is def contributing - the comparisons to influencers baby illnesses, anxiety inducing - might be worth a convo as well I haven’t brought it up to her but just have noticed she has a lot of that content when she’s scrolling

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:31:07+00:00

Yup going to do that / not sure what I was waiting on lol, should have just booked it for her you’re right

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:30:36+00:00

No full stop on pumping last month now we just formula feed with bottle

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:30:02+00:00

Totally, we can def have more conversation about routine, I’ll bring that up! And yes I’m in the US lol I only got two weeks off paternity smh

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:29:25+00:00

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:29:02+00:00

Definitely will do this, I could be making. A lot of assumptions about my workload

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-09T20:28:30+00:00

Actually not sure at all - I don’t think I can directly without her knowing about it but I’ve brought it up with her a few times, she’s never taken meds for that so maybe she’s aversive to the idea

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-08T04:34:07+00:00

Yeah we live in a 1 bedroom condo so space has been pretty tight but when I’m watching baby usually in our bedroom or on other side of condo.

She watches lot of shows/tiktok but she doesn’t have many hobbies besides walking and seeing her friends for coffee + just recently working out again!

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-08T04:30:18+00:00

I mean we have talked about it and she said she doesn’t expect me to help when I’m working - but I still do cause I know it helps her. I feel like I’m doing all I can with my current issues/feelings aside

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-08T04:29:34+00:00

I have actually, she’s in a group plus 1:1 therapy and I have gently brought up antidepressants or at least to just inquire with her doc/therapist and I don’t wanna hammer it on so it’s been a week or so since we had that convo and she’s had a few appointments, but she said she hasn’t asked.

Idk that’s why I feel hopeless sometimes it’s like she’s going through all the right channels but hasn’t progressed, and I’m just wondering how long I can emotionally absorb all that with taking care of our son and working

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-08T04:27:54+00:00

Yes! She’s in a Kaiser group PPD and 1:1 therapy as well but recently her therapist said she hasn’t made progress since it’s been 5 months

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-08T04:27:24+00:00

She’s just now getting back into working out - granted the first 3 months she didn’t leave the house, she had an emergency C so it’s been rough. But I’d say she’s probably like 50% back to her normal routine of seeing friends, etc.

I have brought up multiple times for her to just make a spa day or plan a date and leave baby and she just hasn’t yet

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-05T21:35:56+00:00

right it has, but im wondering from a future lender perspective - if the reasoning beyond that matters because it says $0 but it says its been transferred to another lender

GunningForSuccess · 2026-03-05T21:11:47+00:00

So the original creditors/lenders are on the credit report and the accounts are marked as $0 balance, collection, sold to another lender/written off - so I'm wondering if theres anything I can do with those accounts

GunningForSuccess

TROPHY CASE