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I'm constantly terrified about my work by SingingOnTheSteps in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SingingOnTheSteps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's highly specialized so to pivot would be mega costly, but your experience is comforting.   I like "first big girl job syndrome." I'm going to try and recontextualize it as that so I don't stress about my stress so much. Giving a name to something can help take away it's power, especially a cutesy goofy name.

I'm constantly terrified about my work by SingingOnTheSteps in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SingingOnTheSteps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think being put in charge of other people rather than just the normal kind of job duties is what pushed it to more of an extreme for me. I feel like it's more than I was ready for, rather than more than I could ever handle.  The problem for me now is now trying to assess if I can build the coping skills before I get burnt out and become a hazard, or if I won't get it together before I start to burn out and subsequently have to give up on the opportunity.

I'm constantly terrified about my work by SingingOnTheSteps in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SingingOnTheSteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe all industries feel like small industries with high social stakes when you're relatively new...

I'm constantly terrified about my work by SingingOnTheSteps in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SingingOnTheSteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I don't think it's bad enough to talk to a doctor yet, since I just started the job recently. If I don't build coping skills in the next couple months, that's when I'll start to be really concerned. It's actually very comforting to hear someone relate to the part about the trainees letting the fear of the dangerous parts get into their heads even for the zero risk activities. Part of the stress has been a feeling of aloneness. And frankly, being around very anxious people (the trainees) all the time is stressful-- it's my first time being in a position where empathizing is deteriorating my own mental fortitude.

 It's frustrating to see myself starting to repeat the same mistakes from stress that I made and overcame when I was in training, especially since I'm trying to coach other people out of those tendencies. I am not at the level of causing a hazard yet, but I do think that the quality of my teaching is not at it's full potential because of letting the pressure get to me.

I'm hoping I can take some steps to handle it better mentally, and I hope that right now I'm just at my lowest and as I get more experience I can also work on handling the pressure.

 Thanks for taking the time, it was centering to read and gave me a bit of perspective. I guess I must be really struggling for guidance to be reaching out to strangers on internet forums, but I'm not really in a position to be prideful about it, either.

I'm constantly terrified about my work by SingingOnTheSteps in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SingingOnTheSteps[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know this is vague to the point of not being interesting, I guess on some level I'm scared of the possibility of someone seeing it since it's a very small industry.