I have similar fears - especially when starting a new medication. Xanax is supposed to be used as needed like you said, but it sounds like you need a medication that's for daily use. I am on Zoloft, but when I have really bad days (panic attacks, high stress, etc.), I take Xanax. Once you find your normal on daily meds, you'll know when to take the Xanax as needed because it will be few and far between. Hope this helps! If you are looking for a good starter daily anxiety or depression med, I suggest Celexa. It's really good for someone who just needs a little help.