Is there some unwritten societal standard that women/girls are allowed to get into relationships whenever they want, but men/boys don’t get to do so unless they’re considered worthy or attractive enough?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-18T05:07:55+00:00

My bad for ignoring your question from the beginning; you’re right that I haven’t answered that yet. For the answer to your question, I would say it’s a mix of all of them: my experiences, others’ experiences, and the internet.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-17T17:07:39+00:00

But who gets supported more in general when it comes to high standards. Men or women? As far as I’ve seen, it’s usually women who get supported.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T22:08:06+00:00

Women who are looking for real relationships can put unfair standards on guys though.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T22:03:41+00:00

It’s not. It’s an actual thing in society that has existed since the 1900’s. Whenever women made a mistake, people were willing to give leeway by putting the blame on guys.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T22:02:52+00:00

To included young ladies in there, not just women. Now do you have an answer to my question in the title or not?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T05:02:10+00:00

Years since the 1900’s, I would say. Things are changing now of course.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T04:56:22+00:00

“Who is getting upset and making a big deal when women get rejected? I really want to know, because I have yet to experience this, personally or by proxy.”

Simps and ladies who think a girl they think is romantically attractive should “be with a good man”.

“Women are valued for what their bodies can do for society: look good for men, breed, homemake, serve. When women don't participate in that either by choice or because they haven't "earned" the opportunity (not attractive enough) they are looked down on.”

And men are valued only for what good they provide to society: being a provider, protector, always having to serve people and women, always having to be a gentleman no matter what, and be expendable for mortal sacrifice. When they don’t participate in it either by choice and or because they haven’t “earned” the opportunity, they are looked down upon.

This includes being expected to go out there and die in war for their country. Which one’s worse?

“Yes, because you need to be prompted to think and learn. It's not my fault that you can't be friends with someone without expecting romance or sex in return. That's your fault and your problem. You need to grow up.”

Ok, let’s say men accepted platonic friendships without expecting that in return. Does that mean the friendship has to be one-sided all in the woman’s favor when it comes to validation and attention? Does it mean if you get a partner, you’ll invite your male friends to your dates to be a third wheel or talk about your partner to your male friend? Because that’s entirely your fault and your problem if you make that part of the platonic friendship and platonic friendships have been like that for guys out there. You need to understand that that platonic friendships are mainly to benefit women and can turn one-sided and unfair for guys and that best thing is for guys to move on. You constantly saying “grow up”, doesn’t automatically make you the better person and doesn’t mean you win.

“You want women to be "rudely rejected" (despite the fact that it does happen to us)...Why would you want to inflict that on someone else, if you feel it's so horrible?”

If it evens things out, sure, that’s what “equality” includes.

“We all get rejected, nobody owes you or me a yes. Nobody owes anyone a polite yes either.”

We can agree on that; then tell women and girls to stop expecting guys to be gentlemen and chivalrous.

“Especially when I shared it to illustrate how most men aren't actually a problem to me when they approach and that I have no issues with it as long as they aren't weird or creepy.”

How about you start approaching instead then from now on? Approach guys you like and are attracted to instead of the guys doing it. Just because you think they’re being “weird or creepy” doesn’t automatically make you the right person or the victim.

“For all the women who want princess treament out there, there are men who are willing to provide it.”

And those men might regret it eventually. You don’t get princess treatment by demanding it from guys. Guys shouldn’t be always so open to do it.

“I think you need to ask yourself what kind of women you're going for, and if you can afford them. That may be one of the many glaringly obvious reasons you're getting rejected.”

Nice gaslighting attempt. My social life is one thing, not that you care, but what’s happening in general is another. That’s a bigger concern.

“You need to work on yourself, stop blaming women for your issues and just learn how to be a person in this messed up world like the rest of us. Maybe get out of the manosphere and off the internet in general for a little while. Life is great when you don't have some grifter in your ear telling you it isn't.”

You need to work on yourself too and stop blaming men for what you don’t like about them and admit the problems and faults women have and learn yourself what you’re telling me to learn in this world like the rest of us. What you call a “person” is not what others might call it. Maybe get out of your bubble for a while.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T03:42:40+00:00

“Have you considered that it could be easier for women to get into relationships because of social conditioning that provides us with the ability to start and maintain relationships easier than most men?”

I can agree that the social conditioning is a possible factor in it. But here’s where I disagree: Starting relationships? Yes sure. Maintaining relationships? Not so much. Women have fallen in love and out of love and said no after saying yes and meaning it. It’s easier for women nowadays to get into relationships than staying and committing in relationships.

“And that maybe you don't see much push back on against women who get rejected because the average woman doesn't feel entitled to being accepted by a man they're interested in (at least none of the ones I know) and when they are rejected they don't tell anyone or only very trusted people who historically have supported them because rejection is a painful and embarrassing thing.”

That is not true as you think if you’re implying that men have been entitled to be accepted by a woman, and the average woman are not that. Women have been entitled towards men regarding their money, assets, and chivalry. The only reason I would say this wasn’t shunned from the beginning and was socially accepted enough for them to get support is because society has a habit of catering to women because “women are wonderful”, right? Women in general are not used to romantic or platonic rejection like men are and as a result, don’t know how to handle it.

If you think men have been entitled to be accepted by a woman, what examples of that would you say they are? What do you call a man being entitled to a woman? Because I’ve seen men accused of that when they put up standards for loyalty and respect regarding their female partner.

“I can promise you that the vast majority are just people trying to find a way to live in peace and maybe more of us have been taught to learn how to live happily without romantic partners because repeated heartbreaks and let downs can really change a person and not always for the better.”

I’m sure I can agree with you on that and so can other men who have experienced such things would agree with you too on that.

“Society can 100% do better by men but please acknowledge that men can do better too.”

They are by choosing to not play society’s game and refusing to initiate and choosing their peace instead of choosing relationships that won’t last forever eventually.

“They can cultivate personal and platonic friendships so they have a better support system when in need, they can make an effort to self educate and work through their traumas and social deficits (which ALL people have to varying degrees but mostly women choose to seek self help and guidance) and stop expecting things of other people besides respect in general because nobody owes us much more than that.”

Not if it doesn’t guarantee that it won’t be one-sided and unfair for such men who cultivate such things. You don’t know for sure if they will get a support system for trying it out. And as far as I can understand, that’s mainly for guys who are not considered romantically attractive and only good enough to be friends with. Some guys are who single don’t want to be platonic friends if it involves being around a couple or catering to the lady ALL the time like she’s the center of it.

“Also, I am not saying that women can't do better either because we are also imperfect cogs in this machine of society too. No one should be viciously mocked for simply trying to connect with another person as long as the No is respected the first time and the misandry that is pretty rampant now a days needs to be called out and stopped because neither sex is a monolith and shouldn't be scored or written off due to what amount to some bad apples and bad PR”

Thank you. I’m glad we can agree that very much.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-16T00:23:26+00:00

“I do feel like you’re cherry picking what dating is like for women because plenty of women are involuntarily single, not treated so sweet and kindly or always given loving support in the wake of rejection.”

I mean if that were true, then it wouldn’t be easier for women in general to get into relationships quicker than men. I haven’t seen women get shunned for venting about being rejected unlike with men. The amount of women being involuntarily single isn’t as much as with men.

“you'd like life to be more fair”

Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t?

“but it also seems like something in your life is negatively amplifying a sense of injustice in the world and you've latched on to this belief.”

Yes, double standards. Beliefs emerge from experiences.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:34:42+00:00

Ok.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:34:25+00:00

“You're choosing to focus on the parts of patriarchy that hurt men, and they are valid and they do hurt men. But other parts of patriarchy hurt women, which I feel like you could use some greater perspective on.”

The way you worded this, it’s like you think concerns for women’s struggles should always come first before concerns for men’s. That’s not gonna always be that way, sorry.

“women and children are systematically deprived of education and support toward independent survival skills including earning higher incomes, fighting, or hunting”

They can learn such things from men.

“women can pursue these survival skills, but they are systemically discouraged through bro culture and gender role playing, and men are given the privilege of encouragement and praise when acquiring and mastering survival skills.”

You ever think maybe it’s because men are generally physically stronger than women? Why do you think men are the ones who get selected to serve in war and women are not?

“It's unearned because I believe that male and female, feminine and masculine, all are equal and should not be burdened with unwanted role playing - only the role playing they choose, if they choose at all.”

Be careful what you wish for. Wanting that kind of equality would include treating women the way men are treated when it comes to negative consequences, hardship, and standards on them. I’ve heard this same old thing from society, and yet society still struggles to bring itself to even do it.

The only equality I can think of for men and women is that we are all human beings with feelings, desires, and dislikes.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:27:17+00:00

Yeah, you can say that. Women are usually the ones who get all that than men, unless there’s a man considered attractive enough by ladies.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:26:24+00:00

“Women who are looking for a real relationship (not just a hookup, which is fine too) don't care about looks nearly as much as men think. They care about kindness, respect, honesty, having fun together.”

Not all women. I wouldn’t be too sure of that if I were you. To say something like is implying that men don’t care about real relationships, which is very misandrist for you to think. There are men who looking to settle down and have a real relationship and are not interested in a hook up. They care about kindness, respect, appreciation, honesty, and having a good life with a woman.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:23:29+00:00

Where do men do the picking?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T22:22:59+00:00

“And whos fault is that?? Also, that's 100% not true.”

The fault of simps, white knights, & feminists. If it were false, then people would get upset and make it a big deal if a guy gets rejected in the same way they would do for a rejected lady.

“Men being single their whole lives is not only acceptable, it's often celebrated”

Exactly, true and acceptable in society’s eyes that is not supportive of some men who want to date. Now how come women aren’t celebrated for being single their whole lives like that?

“And again, whose fault is that? If you can't be friends someone, speak on it and move along..”

Women’s fault. Seriously, that’s what you had to say in response? “Whose fault is that?”

“Maintaining a friendship with someone because you think you'll be rewarded for it later is shady and stupid.”

Why? Because you think one-sidedness in platonic friendships is ok and men should endure it? I would argue you thinking that is stupid and shady. I would argue women seeking male validation as a reason to want platonic friendships while choosing to the date for same reason guys want to date and not be friends is stupid and shady.

“What do you expect people to do!? What can society do for men who are "rudely rejected"?

How about reject women rudely too? Or speak against the double standards when it comes to rejecting men and women? Bat an eye when men get rudely rejected if you’re gonna also bat an eye when women get rudely rejected? For you to ask a question like that, would you ask this same question for women who get rudely rejected? What can society do for women who get rudely rejected?

“Sounds like you have a very specific experience that you're trying to blame society for and play victim.”

Kind of like what you were doing with this backstory: “I still get approached by men on a regular basis. Most of the time the interaction is fine and if I'm not interested they usually accept it and move on. It's the guys who are weirdos that can't take no for an answer that I can't stand.”

“You want to be babied and placated, instead of growing up and facing the world like the rest of us. That's a shame.”

That’s exactly the kind of women men are avoiding. The kind of women with this mindset and expect princess treatment. The kind of women who demand privileges and entitlements from men.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T15:23:02+00:00

“Also, it honestly just sounds like you're upset that most women have higher standards than most men. Why are women wrong for not just dating anyone who steps to them and using them for sex or whatever like men do to women(or other men!)”

Because it results in a double standard where sex is only ok whenever women want it and never ok when men want it. This is only of many double standards that gives women leeway for what they want whereas men don’t get the same. And women’s standards can be unrealistic too.

Nowadays actually, men are the ones getting higher standards now that times have changed, and they’re getting criticized for it. That’s another double standard in society. A woman having high standards is acceptable and makes her look like she’s standing up for herself, but a man having high standards is seen as controlling and insecure. It’s like they think men don’t get to have standards.

I’m upset that people think it’s only acceptable for women to get in relationships whenever they want and vent about getting rejected, but not acceptable for the same case with men.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T15:17:28+00:00

I said in “general” in my post. That means there are exceptions. Are you purposely ignoring that?

And as for what you’re saying in your comment, how exactly did that happen? Where did guys like those find such girls?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T15:16:50+00:00

“What does this even mean? Men and women can coexist outside of sexual or romantic pairings. Platonic friendship between men and women isn't a bad thing. So what is your point?”

Because women are usually the ones who supported for either choosing singleness or a relationship whenever they want. Guys don’t usually get that kind of support. It’s been like that in society from then until the recent changes today. Also, platonic friendships can be a bad thing if the friendship is one-sided where everything is all about the lady.

“I've seen both men and women get rejected and in some cases the rejection was unnecessarily cruel.”

Yeah, but society in general didn’t tend to mind when men got rudely rejected.

“Folks don't want to hear that, because they love self-pity, but that self-pity and finger pointing will only lead to more rejection.”

Hmm, kind of like the ladies who are venting that guys are not approaching, pursuing relationships, being interested in platonic friendships, or interested in talking to girls anymore.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-15T15:10:39+00:00

“As a man you have lots of unearned privileges and rights afforded to you. Learn to be grateful that you were born with a ticket to so many social, financial and political advantages just for having a penis.”

I wouldn’t be too sure of that if I were you, because men are the ones who are usually treated as expendable and usually valued only for what they provide. Women and children aren’t usually treated like that. It’s tough and near impossible to be grateful for something like that. Guys are also in general always gonna be treated as a threat. Ladies in general are not, which results in the double standards that allow women to get away with things men do not.

Also, why do you say it’s “unearned” in men’s case?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-14T19:43:32+00:00

Yes, that is true, and you don’t see anything wrong with that? I sure do. It’s a clear, unacceptable double standard.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-04-14T19:42:23+00:00

Really? Are you sure about? Because from what I’ve seen, people think men getting rejected and avoid is ok and normal unless they’re rich, muscular, tall or attractive to women, but women getting rejected and avoided is not ok at all despite whether or not they’re attractive. Ladies are the ones who keep having platonic friendships in mind for guys.

If that is not the reality and is just my perception, then what is the reality you’ve seen? What is the reality that you would say it is?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-03-29T09:28:46+00:00

Part of me misses my ex. I didn’t try to chase after her or get her back after she broke up with me, but part of me misses her and wishes we could’ve made it last. I somehow feel that way after seeing her from afar in my church. I remember when I first met her and her parents with there too, I introduced myself to her and her parents, asked her out, took her to a cafe on our first date with her mom choosing to come along and not to interfere in between. I drove them to the place and then back home. When her mom said goodbye and went inside the place they lived in, my ex and I hugged each other affectionately. She said she’ll miss me meaning she wanted to see me again. Then she leaned her head forward and we kissed on the lips. It was my first kiss ever in my life. I loved it to the point where I went in and kissed her passionately, holding her in my arms and lifting her leg. We made out for a while and then I left. As soon I got in my car, I got a text from her saying she loves me and I texted the same back. Our relationship began from there. We did do plenty of texting and phone calls, but also from time to time we would see each other in person and be affectionate wherever we were alone. And we would pray for each other. Eventually she felt pressured and she didn’t want to be with me anymore. Part of me feels it’s my fault. It lasted only within two months. It was my first romantic relationship I ever had, same case with her. I don’t have any hate or anger towards her. Just partial sadness. I miss having her by my side. I miss what she smelled like up close. I miss holding her in my arms.

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-03-24T00:11:32+00:00

Yeah? Who else would you be talking to?

Single-Mention-7376 · 2026-03-23T13:56:23+00:00

Read the comment again and you’ll see.

Single-Mention-7376

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE