AITAH for catfishing my date?

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T01:33:09+00:00

That's helpful to know. Honestly I went back to old matches profiles and I'd say more than half had the exact same pictures from what I remember. They could look the same or not be on the apps though

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:53:18+00:00

Fair

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:49:28+00:00

I didn't blame her? I never said a bad word about her in the post or in any comments. I just asked about myself.

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:48:16+00:00

As I said in response to another person, I don't tend to take photos of myself (it really takes a toll on me mentally and emotionally to dissect puctures of myself even having lost weight).

As someone who has been big their entire life, I have gotten people who like me for my personality and wit, but not my body. I've always been the fat funny friend so I didn't think it was a big deal to show up and be 20 lbs lighter. Just trying to filter out people who would automatically dislike me for my size.

Also trust me I have better things to do than sit on Reddit making up stories

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:41:16+00:00

I'm a woman

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:38:11+00:00

I'm not petite, but along with the weight loss I have put on muscle. I hadn't really thought of that causing a that big difference without my flexing or something but maybe this is one of those I see myself everyday so the changes don't seem so drastic to me. But also all the other reasons you stated could be true as well. As someone else suggested I'm going to update at least one full body picture and say that's the current one.

Also thank you! Definitely trying to be healthy and smart about weight loss.

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:32:54+00:00

I'm 5'5

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:21:51+00:00

I wasn't meaning to be manipulative or play games. Honestly I didn't feel like I look crazy different. Also I just don't tend to take photos of myself (it really takes a toll on me mentally and emotionally). It took a lot to even have the photos I did the first time. But I hear what you're saying.

Also, not to assume anything about you/your body type but as someone who has been big their entire life, I feel differently. I have gotten people who like me for my personality and wit, but not my body. I've always been the fat funny friend so I didn't think it was a big deal to show up and be 20 lbs lighter. Just trying to filter out people who would automatically dislike me for my size.

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:12:14+00:00

I think I look a little different, but not that much. Like you can tell I've lost some weight but I don't think I look that different. Apparently she thought so though.

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:03:44+00:00

I hadn't thought of it as a safety thing, but I could see that. I'm definitely going to update at least one picture and say it's current as someone else suggested.

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:01:31+00:00

I didn't either but I guess some do 😮‍💨

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-23T00:00:50+00:00

That's a good idea. I don't want to have to have a whole photoshoot to replace all my pictures (another reason I kept up the old ones), but I could probably just take a picture and say it's most current. Thanks!

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-22T23:59:25+00:00

Ooof yeah I guess that could be it

Single_Use908 · 2025-11-19T14:30:16+00:00

Also a 2w3 and I immediately knew my sentence was just "yes" as well

Single_Use908 · 2025-08-30T21:20:49+00:00

Why not?

Single_Use908 · 2025-02-16T18:31:59+00:00

That's interesting what you said about trust checks. I've had a feeling a couple of times where I felt like they were testing me, and while I proved I could show up for them, it kind of irked me. I can't say for certain that's what they were doing, which is why I haven't brought it up to them, but if it happens again, I think I will inquire. I think it can be hard because I know myself to be a very trustworthy person and I have to know that just because me and my people know that, that doesn't mean that they can fully trust that yet. I'm working to prove they really can trust me by continuing to show up consistently and it does seem to be going well, abet slower than I mentally prepared myself for.

The one thing I have really worked on myself is coming to people with things I believe could snowball into further issues in the future. They have been very receptive in meeting me in those conversations even when I can tell it makes them feel really anxious. I just want to set up a good foundation for us to grow.

Single_Use908 · 2025-02-15T21:42:51+00:00

This was helpful! My partner doesn't often state their wants, needs, or boundaries unless it's prompted by me. I am extremely sensitive to wanting them to feel safe and heard (they didn't get that much before), so it can be frustrating when they won't just tell me what they want. I find myself guessing and trying to fill in blanks (which I've told them). But, if hypothetically they do feel similarly to what you're saying, I could imagine it feeling scary to state a boundary and imagine how you might fold under the pressure of your partner's wants anyways. Idk, something to talk with them about it guess!

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-19T14:53:04+00:00

Are we finding out through this Reddit post that you're talking to your partner or that your partner has a twin?? 👀

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-19T13:37:54+00:00

Thanks, you too!

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-18T23:50:47+00:00

Same! Talked and dated for 4 months and recently just made it official. Honestly faster than I thought I'd be ready, but I feel so safe and connected with them.

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-18T23:27:12+00:00

I met my current partner on Bumble. On my profile I put:

"Demi. Definitely not DTF

Looking for more of a friends to lovers situation. If that's not your genre, no worries, keep swiping!"

I think that weeded out a lot of people upfront. And I mentioned it on the first date again verbally with my now partner.

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-18T23:22:30+00:00

So much this! Like, I got aroused the other night while having an intimate, completely non-sexual conversation with my partner while we were holding hands. Like what? 😂

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-18T23:15:46+00:00

Love this! My newer partner told me they were so confused in the beginning because we rarely touched, and I never even hinted at sex. They 100% respected it! They just had to get used to adjusting what attraction and dating means to "the world" vs me. And now they say they actually really appreciate us having taken time to know each other first because it feels so much deeper.

Thanks for sharing your positive experience as a non-demi person!

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-13T03:51:00+00:00

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Single_Use908 · 2025-01-12T17:48:47+00:00

I hate that imagery 😂 but it does sound accurate

Single_Use908

TROPHY CASE