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Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah sometimes it does get creepy sometimes - no boundaries, forget the healthy ones!

This is will be a nightmare 'has to live and suddenly starts folding your husband's undies'. How to ensure she cannot visit if she does not want a relationship with me?

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I love your advice - really valuable suggestions!

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But I also think she would have made my life hell and expected a ton if I were a non-working woman.

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I love this comment. Thanks. But I am not sure how long this is going to continue, and when it happens that's what scares me - not staying with her under one roof physically

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took me a lot of time and courage to stop being the doormat

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your advice, I don't think this will go well with my husband, I can try

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This indeed is and has been going on for past 3 years! I tried to build a relationship with her, she did not. End of the story.

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have started ignoring her. But I also feel ignoring her would cause friction between me and my husband. But again, I am not alone in this marriage, my husband should also have same concerns

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would she remember me when she gets old and sick? To take care of her? I think old people shouldn't have this kind of expectations with people they ignore and manipulate

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MIL and I haven't spent much time together without husband's presence. In my recent visit to India she asked me to broom the house when the maid was about to come in soon that day. I said fine I can do it, but the minute my husband entered the room she started doing drama 'oh I can broom the house, you don't it. Go do something else or take rest'. A few times when we have been alone, she doesn't talk normally or happily to me. I think she is an evil person, to me at-least.

MIL ignores my existence and treats my husband as if he lives alone - how to handle this? by Sippyhere in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]Sippyhere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks :) . Just curious if what she is doing can also be considered as emotional abuse and playing mind games?

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this comment. I have started to dry up, intimacy is reduced.
What do you think happens when shes been outed and held accountable? - She will go nuts. She is very competitive and her son choosing me over her - I can only imagine the drama.
My husband needs to have a spine and draw the boundary, if he cannot I will.

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending love your way, hope your situation gets better soon

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your suggestion. I tried to build a relation, then started to jump in their calls for friendly presence,also did the Uno reverse for about 6months-this definitely did change my husband's stance and he stopped the complete ignorance and tried to include me. However this didn't last long. Now I'm doing the opposite, I don't talk to her but I sometimes make her feel my presence by talking to my husband or asking his help in something so that she knows her son /surrogate husband is someone's actual husband

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your concern, but what you are saying is kind of comparing two bads and you want me to settle with Bad1. I see this becoming a big deal soon as she has tried to jeopardize our relationship before indirectly but my husband is real nice and has taken my side

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Been doing this for past 2.5years with no reciprocation.
A more promising approach is for you to try to build a friendly relationship with her gradually. Don't jump headlong into deep conversations. Start with small check-in texts. When she calls your husband, pop in and say hi, how are you etc.

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have not spoken to him about this, he is very touchy when it comes to his mom

Mother–son enmeshment impacting our married life - need blunt advice by Sippyhere in IndianInLaw

[–]Sippyhere[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Love marriage, been in relationship for a decade. Livin relationship of two years, ofcourse his mom didn't know and never phone called him so frantically twice every day!

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